Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Post Wherein There Is No Subject

So, I don't really have any ideas for a post today. My plan? Nothing to far from the norm. I'm going to ramble about things that have been on my mind.

Yesterday I learned about the wonder thing that is laser stretch mark removal. Oh Mah Gawd! It's like the heavens opened up and pigeons flew and angels sang. I want some!!! I know some of you weren't cursed with stretch marks **cough** Fat Girl Slim **cough**. Bitches. So totally unfair. So, I'm starting a "Make MT Sexy" fund. Feel free to send cash...

Really, there just are no words...

There is such a thing as too skinny. And it's not attractive. It's straight up nasty. There's a chick that goes to our gym, and that we occasionally see out riding her bike, that is so freaking skinny that it makes me want to vomit. VOMIT!!! I want to buy home-girl a hamburger, or twelve. I swear to you, her thigh is smaller around than her knee. Why the hell do they continue to let her in the gym? She should be banned from all cardio machines. It's so not right, serious issues right there.

If you look like this, get. the. fuck. off. the. treadmill.

Alcohol is my best friend and my worst enemy. I like me a drink or two. This is no secret. And it's really not even that bad for you in moderation, and assuming you account for it in your daily caloric intake. It's my enemy because after a drink my brain says "MT - you are hungry. You need to eat. You deserve to eat. You can not live if you do not eat that bag of chips". Yeah, this is a bag thing. My will power goes straight out the window. How the hell am I supposed to get past that? I want my drinks without having to eat, and eat, and eat. I mean, I know an anorexic stoner for Pete's sake. I want that kind of willpower!!!

Yes, yes it does...