Sunday, June 26, 2011

Ripped In 30: Day 6

Can tomorrow be Monday already? Lame.

Saturday went pretty good, I didn't get my run in, but I did do Ripped (of course). It was my 5th time doing it in the last 6 days. Not to shabby if you ask me.

I think it's even getting a little bit easier. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy by any means. But it's not as horrific as it was the first couple of days.

I'm a little scared though, tonight is my last day of week 1. Tomorrow it's on to week 2. EEEK!!!

Here's the run day from yesterday:

Weight: 180.6 (Down 0.4 from yesterday, 2.4 total)
Intake: 34 points
Activity: 6 points

I know these posts haven't been super entertaining, but I'm so damn worn out this is about all I got to give.

Peace out.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Ripped In 30: Days 4 and 5

Well hello there again!

What do you know, I'm starting to make this blogging shit a habit again.

So, I've been staying with it! And considering the level of pain of been in - this is sure to make a difference in my body and my overall fitness level!

I've got an admission to make though. I was planning on having Sunday be my "rest" day. Problem is, I was only home for 1 hour yesterday. During which I had to make, serve, and clean up from, dinner. Needless to say, I did not get in my day 5 session.

Day 4 was pretty much win though! Here's my numbers:

Weight: 180.0 (Down again! 3.0 total too!)
Intake: 38 points (A bit high, I'll admit)
Activity: 7 points

Day 5, not so spectacular though. Not horrible considering I had beer and pizza for dinner the night before though!

Weight: 181.0 (Up 1 lb)
Intake: 36
Activity: 9 points (Pretty damn good considering I didn't do Ripped!)

Overall, I think I'm doing pretty darn good! From Monday to Friday I lost 2 pounds total :)

I definitely need to be more conscious of staying closer to my daily points target of 30 though!!!

That's all for now, but I'll see you again tomorrow when I post day 6.

And btw, keep your fingers crossed for me - not only am I going to do ripped today, I'm going to attempt (and I really emphasize attempt) an 8 miler.

Go me!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Well Hello, Lover.

That's what I said to my dinner tonight when I put it on a plate.  Yum to the 10th power.  Seriously.  You must, must, MUST try this recipe.  I found it over on Gina's Skinny Weight Watchers blog.  The woman is a genius. 

Introducing Bananas Fosters Topped Overnight French Toast.

Get in my BELLY!!!

Only 8 points plus a serving, and the serving was really generous.  

Bonus?  The hubby and the kids loved it as well.  It's definitely going in the dinner rotation.

Ripped In 30: Day 3

I survived!

Day 3 hurt like a bitch, but I did it!!! I can not express in words the way I am hurting. My hamstring feel like HELL.

This is a good thing though, right? Change is happening baby!

Don't get me wrong. This shit is HARD. I absolutely do not feel like working out. My legs are so tired and sore I could barely run a mile and half yesterday without having to stop from sheer exhaustion.

But I'm doing it.

That's the thing. It's going to suck ass.

So deal with it.

Here's my deets for day 3:

Weight: 181 (down again!)
Intake: 39 points (a little over, but whatev's, I worked out)
Activity Points: 10
Workout: Running, walking, and Ripped of course!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Haz A Yummy

So since we are back to monitoring calorie intake again, I've needed to get creative with the recipes. Dinner is my biggest challenge, so I thought I'd share a totally YUM thing I found. Now as a disclaimer, I'm not fond of squash AT ALL, but this doesn't even taste like a veggie.

Behold the spaghetti squash.
Totally not as scary as it appears...
You take one of these bad boys and cut it in half. Put it face down on a cookie sheet with a little bit of water in the bottom of a pan. Bake it at 400 degrees for an hour. Once it is finished, the "spaghetti" will come right out if you scrape it with a fork.

Not even a little gross!!!

Put the squash on a plate and top with your favorite marinara recipe. Voila! Super low calorie meal that is excellent for you. Try it asap. You can thank me later. Or better yet, thank sister FGS. She's the one who shared this recipe with me. Thanks sis!!!

Ripped In 30: Day 2

Holy-Mother-Of-GAWD am I sore!!!

But I'm sticking with it. And I survived day 2!

Not only that - I was down 1.4 pounds!!! Hell yeah ;)

Here's the numbers:

Weight: 181.6
Intake: 34 points
Activity Points earned: 6
Exercise: Ripped In 30 Week 1

And here's my starting measurements:
Bicep: 12"
Chest: 42.5"
Waist: 32.5"
Hips: 72"
Thigh: 26"
Calf: 15"
I would write more, but Day 3 isn't going to do itself!



Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Ripped In 30: Day 1

I've got a confession. I've been reverting back to my old "half ass" ways. My exercise has been sporadic at best, my eating (and drinking) have been atrocious, and my weight has been sky rocketing.


I don't know what this has to do with anything at all,
but it came up when I googled "enough already"

I'm better than that! I can do better than that!

I haven't really known what to do though. I've been training for my July half, but between my boy being in the hospital, and a nasty case of shin splints, I'm way, way, waaaay behind on that.

So, what to do?

When all else fails, you know Jillian Michael's is down to kick your ass!

She's a bitch like that - and I FLOVE it!!!

My plan? Ripped In 30 bitches!!!

I'm going to do Ripped In 30 everyday (except Sunday, everybody needs a rest day) for the next 30 days. And I'm going to post about it each and every one of those days. I'll let you know where my weights at, my measurements, how I'm feeling (fucking sore today!) and how my eating is going.

I did day one last night, and it was hard. I've really let myself go. It makes me sick to tell you the truth. But I did it, and after having ran at lunch too!

So here's my daily recap for yesterday:

Weight: 183 *cringe* (don't judge, please?)
Intake: 31 points
Activity Points earned: 13
Exercise: 2 miles + walking & Ripped In 30 Week 1

I haven't done my measurements, but I will tonight!

See you then ;)

 What I've spent to much time doing!!!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Fathers Day

For my husband.

Six years ago today I met you. It didn't take me long at all to become completely smitten with you, and that was due in large part to the way you talked about your little boy. We went for a walk, and I was completely amazed that you were raising a child all on your own. You were kind, patient and the most loving dad I had ever witnessed. It only took me a few days to realize I wanted you to be the father of my babies. That was probably the best decision I've ever made.

I've fallen in love with you time and time again while watching you with our children. It doesn't matter if it's reading bedtime stories, playing hot wheels, or even trying to patiently deal with a tantrum. You are an amazing daddy, and I'm so very, very blessed to share this journey of parenthood with you.

You work so hard to take care of us, and even when you come home exhausted, you still make time to play with our babies. What lucky kids we have.

I couldn't of found a better father for our children if I would've created you. Thank you for being you, from the bottom of my heart.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I Have Changed

I'm definitely not the same old Muff. For awhile there I was avoiding anything resembling exercise. Now though, I need it. Like really need it. For my stress levels and my overall sanity (which is questionable at best).

I did my 6 mile run on Sunday, and it was a big jump in mileage. Before that I'd only been doing 4 miles on my "long" runs. Apparently it was too much, cause my shins are TORN UP! And that's just not gonna cut it. I've got serious training to do.

Problem is, I know better than to try and run with shin splints (which I'm sure I have). And you know what? I want to run. I've resented every single lunch this week because I knew I couldn't go to the gym.

I'm proud of who I'm becoming. Sometimes I wish it wasn't such a process though. I want to just be there already, you know?!

Dammit it if it doesn't feel like it!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Not Exactly Starting Over

It's confession time, bloggy peeps. Pull up a chair and get comfy cause this is going to take a while. I've been less than stellar with my work outs lately. And when I have worked out, I've done anything and everything BUT running. I'm not quite sure why; I guess it just seems daunting now that I've been out of it for a while. It takes a lot of effort, and I've been so lame at putting in effort lately. I actually remember why running seemed so scary in the first place. It's not a happy place to be.

No more of that though! I felt better than I ever have when I was running on a consistent basis, and I need to get back to that place. Fortunately, this time I'm not exactly back to square one. First, I have at least SOME physical endurance whereas before I had none. I can do most tasks these days without getting winded. It also helps that I'm 20 pounds lighter than when I started.

The real leg up though, [and this is the big one]is that I know that I CAN do it now. I've conquered once before, surely I can do it again!!!

I've decided to start out pretty easy, as I'd really like to avoid injury and not push too hard at first. I went back to my trusty Couch to 5k schedule, and decided I could start on week 4 without killing myself. So I'm starting the schedule today! Woot!

For your viewing pleasure...

True facts I realized today: This journey we've been on has changed me. Where I once hated the thought of exercise and eating right, I now know how much better I feel when I do these things. While I once absolutely dreaded the thought of running, I now can't wait for that feeling of accomplishment that comes from it. While I once was angry about going to bed early, I now look forward to the sleep as a time of healing and repair. While I once had no idea how to get myself out of a rut, I now know the steps to take me there.

I guess all of this knowledge means I'm not really starting over at all, am I?

Time to get back to business in these parts!!! Happy Tuesday, friends! Go get some exercise. I'm headed to the gym as soon as I hit publish on this post.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Nut Up. Or Shut the F*ck Up.

We some girls with baggage up in here. Hopefully you had a chance to read Fat Girl Slim's post about her anxiety the other day. Although anxiety isn't one of them, I've got all kinds of issues.

The major one that has been overshadowing EVERYTHING in my life the last few weeks/months has been my depression. If you didn't already know it, I have crazy clinical depression. Like, no laughing matter, type of depression.

I take a cocktail of 3 different anti-depressants every day just to maintain. (For inquiring minds, it's Effexor, Abilify and Welbutrin) Since my family and I moved, we've had to go without health insurance for a while. There's those few months in between your old job's insurance and your new jobs kicking in. So, I cut all my pills in half and have been "surviving" on a half dose. Well, that shit didn't work. I've been crazy the last 2 months. All I can say is that my husband is a fucking saint. I don't have any idea how he puts up with me. He's amazing.

So, long story short, last week I had to go without.

Not. One. Damn. Pill.

I pretty much NEVER talk about my depression because people judge and it hurts. But I'm gonna open up to you guys cause it helps and you're always so supportive.

It was bad. Really, crazy, overwhelmingly, horribly fucking bad.

Don't get me wrong, I've never been suicidal. I consider that the most self-centered thing a person could ever do. But I would have welcomed a fatal accident with open arms.

I've had my pills for the last 3 days and I'm finally starting to pull out of it.

Thank God.

I don't know how much more me, or my family, could have taken.

Here's what I do know though.

I've got a half marathon in 5 weeks.

And I knew that I had to either run my 6 miles this weekend, or just admit that I was not going to be ready on July 9th.

But when it comes time to nut up or shut up?

I NUTTED like a mother fucker.

You KNOW this!!!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Anxiety Blows

I don't think I've ever made it a secret on this blog that I deal with some major anxiety issues. I mentioned it here, and even here. If I kept looking, I'm sure I could find more examples scattered through the blog. I've dealt with worry, panic, etc. since I was a small child, but there have definitely been phases of my life when it's been a more prominent problem for me than other times.

Unfortunately, one of those times is right now. I've been having so much generalized anxiety lately that at times it feels like it's ruining my life. It sounds dramatic I'm sure, but anyone who's ever had those pervasive, worrying thoughts in their head will understand. It's draining, and depressing, and it makes me feel so hopeless at times.
Look!  It's a picture of me!!!

I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten until a couple of weeks ago. Anyone recall that nutter who thought the world was going to end on May 21? I'm not exactly sure what it was about him that triggered my anxiety, but I spent the better part of the week fretting over impending rapture. I'm not even religious, people!!! The worry over something that silly absolutely ruined an entire week of my life. Ri-freaking-diculous!!! It occurred to me then that, yeah, maybe it was time to seek out a little help.

This was me.... kind of...

Fast forward to now, and I'm doing a little bit better. I'm watching caffeine intake, getting enough sleep and I'm desperately trying to schedule in my exercise. I also have a doctor appointment in a week or so to see about some therapy. [and maybe some meds??] Things are looking up. I just need to remember the big, important thing that applies to all of us. I HAVE to make time for me. I deserve to feel well again.

Yep. Yep.  I need therapy worse than that girl.

We are on to a new month, and I'm making my health my number one priority yet again. Starting Monday I'm back to running [yay!], eating healthy, sleeping 8 hours a night, blogging more frequently and spending time relaxing. It's hard to pull yourself out of a hole, but that's exactly what I'm about to do.

Stay tuned...