Friday, October 29, 2010

What I Put In My Mouth Yesterday

Ask and you shall recieve.

  • Frosted Mini Wheats (175)
  • Almond Milk (90)
Mid-morning snack:
  • Dried Mangos (160)
  • Weight Watcher Frozen Mini Pizzas (270)
  •  16 Junior mints (170)
  •  1 Pear (90)
  •  1 Banana (105)
  • 1 Whole Wheat English Muffin (120)
  • 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter (94)
  • Green Smoothie (150)
So the breakdown for the day?? 9 servings of fruit and veggies. Not nearly enough protein, I'm sure, and a grand total of 1424 calories. Not a bad day, by any stretch!

It's Okay To Have a Bad Day

Sometimes it seems that every last thing is going wrong.

Like there is nothing good in life.

And you know what? It's completely okay to feel like that. Let's face it, life isn't a fucking picnic. Shit happens.

What really matters is how you handle these inevitable times.

Are you going to crumble under the pressure, or are you going to give the world a big fat finger and keep on keepin' on?

I opt for the fattie.

Fuck the world.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Why Have I Kept My Head Up My Ass For So Long???

I had the distinct privilege of taking a day off mid-week yesterday. It really doesn't happen very often, and of course, instead of relaxing or taking it easy, I did what any masochistic asshole would do. I cleaned out my closet and tried on clothes that [until recently] were too small. Imagine my surprise when I slipped on THE pair of jeans I've been thinking were my "skinny" jeans [or at least from skinnier times], and I could button and zip them! They are still pretty tight, and I wouldn't wear them in public yet, but HELLO!!! I can zip them. They may look like tight sausage casings on my thighs, but it's something, right?

Anyways, after the initial high realizing I AM really losing weight, came a big blow. THESE were my skinny jeans, but I'm nowhere near skinny. How did I not realize this? Why did I choose to ignore it?? How long HAVE I been overweight, anyways? Too long, my friends. Too long.

Those "skinny" jeans are a size 11. [Juniors, if I'm not mistaken?]  It's definitely not a huge size, but it isn't terribly small either.  [Not to mention the fact that they are worn in and potentially streched out.]  I haven't put a leg in them for 8 years, I believe. Is it possible that I've been this big for EIGHT years? Is it possible that I wasted away at least that long not being happy with my body? Abso-freaking-lutely. I'm actually pretty sure I haven't been happy with my body since my senior year in high school. I was athletic, I weighed 145 lbs., and I fit into size 5 pants. I want it back so bad it physically hurts.

Lately we've been getting lots of requests for Before/Current pictures. I figured I'd post a few today, just to "see how far I've come" while choosing not to focus on "how far I have left to go". I actually have very few pictures of myself when I was at my biggest, not unlike most people who are disgusted by their appearance.

For your viewing pleasure:

This picture below is of me at my absolute biggest. No clue how much I weighed, I wouldn't dare.

Terrible picture of a Twi-nerd, I know!!!  Don't judge.

And the most current picture I have:

Bad dressing room self shot, but you get the idea.

I can see it. There definitely is some progress there. And I promise you, my friends, one day there will be before AND after pictures on this site. We will celebrate then.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

We Want To Give You Stuff!

It's officially here - our first ever GIVEAWAY!!!

Everyone likes free stuff, right?
We've had a really hard time deciding what to give away, so we decided to just go with a few of our favorites.

It's no secret that we adore Jillian Michaels "The Shred" dvd. Really, how could we not include it?

Another thing that has been really key for us, even though we haven't actually blogged about it much, is "The Spark" book:

And last, but not least - the one thing that we absolutely had to have for long runs. What else but the ever scrumptious Clif Shot Bloks?

So, how do you get your hands on these fabulous items? The following will each get you an entry into the giveaway (to be done next Monday):

1. Leave a comment on this post telling us something you'd like to see on the blog.
2. Become a new follower of the blog or, if you are already a follower, get a friend to follow.
3. Tweet this post (include @MuffinTopped and/or @FatGirlSlimmed in your tweet).
4. Link to this post on your blog.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 41

It's finally happened! I've lost TEN pounds!!! Woo-hoo :)

I'm sooo happy about this, I don't even know how to put it into words.

I'm doing it, I'm actually losing weight. For some unknown reason, reaching a solid 10 pound loss has really been reassuring to me. I'm not just trying to lose weight, I am losing weight!!!

When I realised this morning, I was bordering on giddy. I don't think that I've ever truly believed that I was going to be thin again. Some part of me has always thought it was just a pipe dream.

I don't want to be entirely self- centered, so I'd also like to point out that Fat Girl Slim is a mere 1/10 of a pound away from having lost THIRTY pounds!

*** Insert big fucking round of applause here ***

I don't even know what else to say but we kick some serious ass! For real!

On a side note, we will be putting up our giveaway post either today (time granted) or tomorrow at the very latest! WOOT!

Here's the official weekly numbers:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 41 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 41 Numbers:

Friday, October 22, 2010

So, What's The Plan?

I've been slacking on getting up a workout schedule for this week. I finally did you, and just started it with tomorrow.

I have a (slightly ambitious) goal of 7 miles tomorrow. My ankle has been really bothering so I didn't get to do my long run last weekend. Which means this will be my longest run in quite some time. I've only been up to 5 recently, so I'm really nervous about this one. I'll also be doing it solo as Fat Girl Slim has no desire to run in any way, shape, or form.

Poor me :(

Anyway, I don't have anything particularly funny or inspirational to say - just wanted to show you my plan for torturing myself over the next 7 days.

Here's to achieving some results!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I'm Tired Of Being A Wagon

Last night, while scanning through a book of mine [42 Rules For Working Moms, if you are curious], I came across a chapter that touched on taking care of yourself. It said to imagine yourself as a fast sports car. If you tune a sports car right, put good gas in it, and take care of it, the performance will increase. I was totally following the point they were trying to make, but for some reason no matter how I tried, I couldn't imagine myself as a sleek sports car.

I think [unfortunately] that I'm a wagon. When the fuck did I become a wagon?!?!?!?! Pretty sure I'm not frumpy enough to be considered a minivan. No way. I'm definitely not a huge SUV either, but I have to be frank when I say I'm definitely not a compact car at this point. I think I'm a wagon.

How depressing. Wagons are functional and reliable and safe, but nobody gets excited to drive the wagon. Nobody stands back and appreciates the wagon as it drives by. Not even if it's a pretty, new wagon. Some things in life just aren't esthetically pleasing, you know??? Nor are some cars fast and lithe. Some cars will always be mediocre, no matter how well they do their job.

She might haul the kids around, but that's about it.

Well FUCK THAT. I'm tired of being the damn Subaru. I want to be a sports car. I want people to stare when I go by. I promise I'm not delusional. I may never get to Ferrari status, but would it be too much to ask to be a Camaro? Maybe even a Corvette???

Now THIS is a sexy car.

It may not be next week, or even next month, but one day I'm going to wake up and realize I'm no longer the grocery getter. One day I'm going to realize I've lost the back seat and allllll that junk in the trunk. I can't freaking wait.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 40

I have a confession to make, I've been drinking the satan (aka Diet Dr. Pepper, aka sweet nectar of the gods).

I have another confession to make. The week that I lost the most weight ever was the week I didn't drink soda.

This pisses me off.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it on the blog before, but I am pre-diabetic and insulin resistant. My doctor told me straight up I should not drink soda, especially diet. It screws with your blood sugar worse than the regular stuff.

So, in addition to being fat stats, today is my final farewell to my sweet love:
Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways...

I bust my ass way to hard to let something like stupid soda stand in the way of my goals! Even though I really, really, really don't want to, it's something that just has to be done.

With that said, on to fat stats. It wasn't an epic week, but it was decent - and I'll take that over a gain any day!

Fat Girl Slim's Week 40 Numbers:

 Muffin Top's Week 40 Numbers:

 That's all for now - I'm going to iron out my workout plan for this week and post it later on.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

We Did It!!!

We did it! We made it to 50 followers!

What now you ask?

It's GIVEAWAY TIME baby :)

Fat Girl Slim and me are in the processing of figuring out exactly what will comprise this giveaway box. Which is where YOU come in.

If you were picking, what would you want to be in the box? Let us know in the comments.

And to all our followers -

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Let's Talk About Boobies

Because really, who doesn't love boobies?? I've always been a pretty busty girl. Around 14 years old the boobs grew in at full force. And I got a boyfriend. Coincidence or conspiracy??? Anyways, pretty much since puberty I've ran between a D and DDD in cup size, depending on whether or not I was skinny or nursing babies or pregnant. Pregnancy can do a number on boobs, can't it? One day the titty fairy arrives, and BAM, you have Grade A, Porn-approved knockers that you [and your husband/wife/baby daddy/boyfriend/girlfriend/random strangers] just can't get over.

Nobody can resist...

Of all the things I've done to my boobies though [pregnancy, nursing for years, etc.], nothing, and I truly mean NOTHING has made them shrink. Until now, that is. The other day I looked into the mirror and said [out loud], "Where the FUCK did my boobs go?!?!?!?", because seriously, the fun bags are starting to totally go MIA. I realized my bra is starting to look like it's holding two little eggs in two big baskets.

So what's a woman to do??? I dug deep into my drawers to find my smaller bras. The D selection. I threw one of those on, ran to the mirror and.... still too fucking big. Could I really be moving into C territory?? I haven't been in C territory since 6th grade!!! And I certainly weighed less than 174lbs then. I was about 130.

Has anyone else experienced massive knocker shrinkage? I'm not sure how I feel about this yet, but I know it isn't good. My girls are two of my very favorite assets, and it's going to hurt a little to say good bye to them in the name of skinny. Then again, I could always go all Muffin Top and get fake ones. She keeps losing weight, but the boobies remain.... Bitch.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It's Getting Closer...

So close, in fact, that I went ahead and ordered my special underwear for his graduation.  Only FOUR WEEKS until I leave!!!

I'm beyond impressed with my humor....

Now, guess who needs to get her big ole' ASS on the stair climber today so that I may actually FIT in a thong by graduation. Yep, that would be me.

Muffin Top's (Current) Workout Schedule

First off, I would like to apologize to @Kattungen - I promised her I would post this yesterday and I was a complete failure. I'm sorry Kat! Sometimes life sucks and yesterday was kind of one of those days. So this is for you baby!

Just this very morning I filled out my application for a 9 miler! It's the Pioneer Road Run and is exactly one month from today on November 13th.

Is this a good idea? I'm not really sure. The furthest I've run since the half is 5 miles, so I have 4 weeks to up that distance by 125%. Ouch.

 Damn! That's gotta hurt!!!

So, before I get into the nitty gritty of my schedule I'll tell you my plan for upping the mileage. I have 3 weekends of building and 1 recovery ahead of me. This weekend I'll run 6.5 (30% increase), the following I'll do 8 (23% increase), the third week I'll go balls out and do 10 (25% increase). Since the final weekend will be recovery I'll probably do 6 or 7, depending on how I'm doing.

Since today is Wednesday, I'll start from there and go through Tuesday. I'm actually kind of looking forward to having it all mapped out. When I have a plan, and a particular workout is "scheduled" in, I really feel obligated to do it.

P.S. Don't forget - We only need 1 more blog follower and then we will be doing our first ever give away!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 39

This was a week of of mixed results. If you read Fat Girl Slim's post yesterday, you know that it wasn't an entirely successful weekend. But, that happens to all of us - the key is to pick yourself back up and start right where you left off. Another thing that I've found to be key is that you have to forgive yourself. You can't dwell on the negative, you can't focus on the failure - where you are pointed is where you will head.

Point yourself towards success!!!

With that said, here's this weeks results:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 39 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 39 Numbers:

This is a short post, but I am going to be posting my workout schedule later today to make up for it :)

*** PS ***
After we get 50 blog followers we will be doing a giveaway! So if you aren't a follower - do it now!!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Let's Get It On

We've decided to kick it up a notch around these parts. For the next 28 days, Muffin Top and I will get NO LESS than 60 minutes of exercise a day. I am leaving for my husband's police academy graduation in 31 days [HOLY SHIT!!!! Only 31 days!!!], so I want to make the most of these last 4 weeks.  In other words, IT'S ON.

I've gone so far as to create a schedule of sorts for myself. I've noticed I do far better with a plan. So here it is. I have no clue what Muffin Top is going to do, perhaps if you ask nicely she'll post her work out schedule later.


-20 mins treadmill @ 7% incline, 3.5 mph
-20 mins elliptical
-20 mins stair climber
-60 mins total


- 5 mins @ 15 incline, 2.5 mph
- 5 mins @ 10 incline, 3.0 mph
- Repeat x 5
-10 mins stair climber
- 60 mins total


-20 mins treadmill @ 7% incline, 3.5 mph
-20 mins elliptical
-20 mins stair climber
-60 mins total

-5 mins @ 5.0 mph
-2.5 mins @ 5.5 mph
-2.5 mins @ 6.0 mph
-5 mins @3.5mph
Repeat x 3
-15 mins stair climber
-60 mins total


-20 mins treadmill @ 7% incline, 3.5 mph
-20 mins elliptical
-20 mins stair climber
-60 mins total


-Jillian video
-60 mins total


-60 mins walk (recovery)
-80 mins total

I'd like to work in more Pilates in the morning if possible, but who knows because I'm soooo not a morning person.
So there you have it.  Kicking ass and taking names, at least for the next 4 weeks.

Weekend Wrap Up

Happy Monday, friends. There was so much awesome this weekend, I felt it deserved it's own post. Besides, we aren't doing fat stats until Tuesday now, so I figured we should add some filler.

This weekend was an epic fail in the eating department, but damn, I had some seriously good food. The small people and I made some fabulous pumpkin butterscotch cookies on Saturday morning, and on Sunday I busted out a huge crock of beef stew. I'm happy to cross both of those things off the Fall bucket list.

These were ridiculously good...

As was this...

Saturday night my sister watched the munchkins so Mr. FGS and I could have a date night. It had been over TWELVE weeks since we'd gotten out of the house sans kids, and it was all kinds of worthwhile and awesome. We ate at my favorite Mexican joint and watched Zombieland. [It goes without saying that it's one of my favorite movies, right?]

NEVER forget Rule #1!!!!!

Sunday was cleaning, cooking, going to the park and having my nieces over for dinner. Some weekends have so much happy in them that it physically hurts when Monday shows up. That's about where I am right now!

I wanted to take a moment to mention a project a friend of mine is doing. This is one of the best ideas I've seen in a very long time. You can see what it's all about at I hate to summarize what others are doing, so this is straight from the site:

For the next fifty-two weeks, my family will strive to create a weekly public project that will serve no other purpose than to make people smile–perhaps hundreds of people or maybe just one. But smiles are the primary goal.

Secondarily, the goal of the Hokey Pokey Project is to teach my own children that they have vast power, even at the tender ages of two and four, to better people’s lives, one smile and one moment at a time.

Go take a peek at this project and prepare to be amazed.

I hope every one of you out there has a fantastic, healthy Monday. We'll be back tomorrow with fat stats [that I'm totally dreading, just FYI].

Thursday, October 7, 2010

This Is How We Do

20 minutes here...

Followed by 20 minutes here...

And finishing up with 20 minutes here...

is the preferred cardio work out this week.  It's intense too!!!  Throw in a little pilates in the morning, and I'm all set.  One day, I will look good.  I can feel it coming.  [That's what she said!]

Rules For A Long Life

The amazing Ms. Bitchcakes posted this on her blog a couple days back, and I thought it was worth the re-post.  From a cup of tea, here's some rules for health.

Less alcohol, more tea.
Less meat, more vegetable.
Less salt, more vinegar.
Less sugar, more fruit.
Less eating, more chewing.
Less words, more action.
Less greed, more giving.
Less worry, more sleep.
Less driving, more walking.
Less anger, more laughter.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 38

This last week was EPIC!!!

Both FGS and me lost 3.4 pounds apiece! How freaking cool are we?

It's really quite amazing what can happen when you really apply yourself. I've always known that keeping track of your calories in / out is supposed to produce results. I guess maybe I just didn't believe that it would work for me. That no matter what I do, I will fail.

Well, self-doubt, put that 3.4 pounds in your pipe and smoke it!

Here are the numbers, I believe they speak for themselves:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 38 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 38 Numbers:

In case you didn't notice, I thought I would point out that I also lost 1.75 inches this week! Woot!!!

I really believe that getting my GoWear Fit has been a major catalyst in getting in gear. I'll write more on that another day though.

Feel free to tell us how fabulous we are in the comments :)

Friday, October 1, 2010

How's Your Terrain?

If you've read this blog for any length of time, it should come as no surprise that I'm a total worrier. I'm pretty sure it's genetic or something, because my sisters, mom, grandma, etc. are all psycho worriers too. I worry about random crap most people probably don't even fathom in a day, and then I proceed to worry about the amount of time I spend worrying. No joke.
Mean chickens...
On the tippy top of my worry list though is something very real and close to my heart. So many of the things I stress about are things I have zero control over. However, the biggie on my list allows me a small measure of control over it. The biggest fear I have is dying before my children are adults. It's probably every parent's worst fear, or close to it. I'm well aware that I could leave work today and get hit by a bus. This I would have no control over. I'm also aware, however, that there are many things young people die of that can be prevented, at least somewhat.

Enter this new book I've been reading: Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life. Cancer scares the CRAP out of me, and has personally touched my life on several occasions. Four out of four of my grandparents have had cancer. One of my very favorite cousins was diagnosed with lymphoma at age thirty. [She is thankfully in remission]. The thought of having cancer next year and not being there for my children is horrifying to me. There is so much new development in the study of cancer that I can barely keep up. I love the research though. I love to hear that we may be able to beat this horrendous disease someday. I'm downright giddy when I hear of diet changes that can help prevent and destroy cancer.

With all of this in mind, I've been thinking a lot about my terrain. What's terrain, you ask? It's a term coined in that new cancer book I just mentioned, and it's a fascinating idea to me. Terrain is your body's overall state of wellness. It's basically the body's soil. You can have really great soil, the kind that is full of vitamins and minerals and will grow you a great harvest. Or, you can have poor soil, leached of nutrients and viability. The better your terrain, the better your body's ability to fight off illness is. This doesn't just apply to cancer. The better you take care of yourself, the more you can fight off any disease that comes your way.

I want lush terrain like this.... but skinny.
I'm taking this information to heart, people. While I'm not normally fond of the serious blog post, I really feel like putting this information out there for those willing to listen. This week, and in the weeks to come, I'm taking care of my terrain. What am I doing? I never thought you'd ask! Here's the list I made myself. I'm trying [not always succeeding] to do the following things, every day.

  • Eat 7 servings of fruit and veggies [green smoothies rock people]
  • Sleep 8 hours a night [I'm succeeding in getting 7 at this point]
  • Try to eat more organic and natural products
  • Limit red meat to 1 time /week [only grass-fed and organic]
  • No hormones/antibiotics in my meat/dairy
  • No artificial sweeteners
  • Limit sugar
  • Drink 2-3 cups of green tea
  • Exercise
  • Meditate
  • Laugh more
  • Worry less

The cover of the book says, "All of us have cancer cells in our bodies. But not all of us will develop cancer." I want to be one of those that don’t. I want my children to be those that don't. It's a way to be proactive in stopping my worry. When it's all said and done [whether I get hit by a bus tomorrow or live to be 110], I want to know that I did everything I could to be on this planet as long as possible. If the scale would note my efforts in this as well, that would be stellar too. It would be a pity to go a whole post without showing my vain side, wouldn't it?