Why Have I Kept My Head Up My Ass For So Long???

I had the distinct privilege of taking a day off mid-week yesterday. It really doesn't happen very often, and of course, instead of relaxing or taking it easy, I did what any masochistic asshole would do. I cleaned out my closet and tried on clothes that [until recently] were too small. Imagine my surprise when I slipped on THE pair of jeans I've been thinking were my "skinny" jeans [or at least from skinnier times], and I could button and zip them! They are still pretty tight, and I wouldn't wear them in public yet, but HELLO!!! I can zip them. They may look like tight sausage casings on my thighs, but it's something, right?

Anyways, after the initial high realizing I AM really losing weight, came a big blow. THESE were my skinny jeans, but I'm nowhere near skinny. How did I not realize this? Why did I choose to ignore it?? How long HAVE I been overweight, anyways? Too long, my friends. Too long.

Those "skinny" jeans are a size 11. [Juniors, if I'm not mistaken?]  It's definitely not a huge size, but it isn't terribly small either.  [Not to mention the fact that they are worn in and potentially streched out.]  I haven't put a leg in them for 8 years, I believe. Is it possible that I've been this big for EIGHT years? Is it possible that I wasted away at least that long not being happy with my body? Abso-freaking-lutely. I'm actually pretty sure I haven't been happy with my body since my senior year in high school. I was athletic, I weighed 145 lbs., and I fit into size 5 pants. I want it back so bad it physically hurts.

Lately we've been getting lots of requests for Before/Current pictures. I figured I'd post a few today, just to "see how far I've come" while choosing not to focus on "how far I have left to go". I actually have very few pictures of myself when I was at my biggest, not unlike most people who are disgusted by their appearance.

For your viewing pleasure:

This picture below is of me at my absolute biggest. No clue how much I weighed, I wouldn't dare.

Terrible picture of a Twi-nerd, I know!!!  Don't judge.

And the most current picture I have:

Bad dressing room self shot, but you get the idea.

I can see it. There definitely is some progress there. And I promise you, my friends, one day there will be before AND after pictures on this site. We will celebrate then.