Wednesday, August 4, 2010

High Times

This morning I had a dental "procedure" done.  Ok, backstory first or this won't make sense.  In high school, while golfing, I knocked out my two front teeth.  Yeah, WTF, right?  Anyways, it was a freak thing, and they were able to put the teeth back in.  Pain, suffering, blah, blah, blah.  Fast forward 10 years, and one of my beautiful front teeth is now dead and preparing for it's departure from my skull.  Apparently after you knock teeth out, then have them stuffed back in your head, they only last so long.  Who knew, right?

Yup, I lost THOSE two.  Although mine weren't quite as large...

So today, I had what is known as an "implant" [but not for your boobies!] screwed into my jaw bone.  I'll save you from the horrors that is this procedure [your welcome], but needless to say, it's totally painful and yucky and awful.  Five hours later, and I'm all swollen gums and stitches.  Fucking SUPER!

Can you believe they kept me AWAKE while doing this?

Never one to forget the silver lining, however, let me tell you the good news.  I've sat at my desk for the past 3 hours stoned out of my freaking MIND.  Pain meds can be seriously good times apparently!  Not only do they help stop the painful throbbing in my mouth [insert a plethora of penis jokes here], but they make me feel high as a kite!  I shit you people not, I'm pretty sure my chair has been floating for most of the afternoon.  Currently, I'm actually contemplating how I will be able to walk down the hall to the bathroom to pee. 

This is me today.  No, seriously.

The entire point of this rambling post is to let you know this: I have a lot to say this week, but I can't say it today.  I spent an hour yesterday on the treadmill writing up a great post in my head.  I promise to get it posted later this week when I'm in a better frame of mind.  Pinky swear and all that crap.

As for today, I'm going to sit back and try not to think about the pain in my jaw that's getting progressively worse.  After all, it's only an hour until I can take another pain pill.  Cheers.


  1. Oh wow! I feel your pain. At 23 I had my remaining teeth pulled and dentures put in all in the same day!!!! (I had a gum disease that came on really fast and destroyed my teeth=sucky!!)

    Anyways, yea... Those painkillers are stellar to take away the pain and put you in La-La land. They had given me percocet and I was OUTTTTT there. LOL.

    Hope you're feelin' better!