This is INSANITY.

So we put fear, excuses, tiredness and soundness of judgment behind us last night and started the Insanity workout program by Beach Body. I can effectively sum it up in one sentence. This shit is no joke.

Last night Mr. FGS and I did the fit test. MT and Mr. MT did the same thing at their own home. After we finished I was sweating like I've never sweated before. That is one intense work out video. And we only did the fit test!!! I can't imagine what tonight has in store for me.

The Insanity program is basically 60 days of plyometric work outs, coupled with an eating system. You do one scheduled DVD a night, and you eat 5 small meals a day in an effort to maintain blood sugar. So far it just feels like I'm eating a lot. But hey, running 4 times a week along with Insanity 6 days a week should really burn through the calories.

I have to be honest, I was really afraid to start this workout.  My demons came out to haunt me.  What if I don't have enough time?  What if I can't do it?  I was truly terrified before starting.  I just kept repeating this quote over and over to myself.  I think it really helped.

"I really don't believe in fear. I believe in putting in the work." --Deena Kastor

Here are our first day Fit Test results. We'll try to update every couple of weeks with our Insanity stats, if we survive, that is.

Monday Fat Stats - Week 19

The thing about life is, you don't get any do-overs. You can't take back the past, no matter how much you might want to.

Today is a fresh start, a new beginning.

Why do I sound all zen-like with the psycho-babble? This is really a little pep talk for myself. I've been down, discouraged, and all around pissy lately. Which is just great when you are trying to eat good.

I've definitely fallen off the wagon the last few weeks. This weekend was really, really not good. FGS and I are starting the Insanity today (more about that in tomorrow's post) and felt all entitled to a last hurrah. So I ate pizza, and drank, and then had a little more to drink, then had a few screwdrivers... You get the point.

So, I'm forgiving myself, I'm starting anew, and I'm having my meds adjusted tomorrow morning!

Without further ado:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 19 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 19 Numbers:

I've got to be honest with you. I almost fudged my numbers for this week. I was just going to put in a 0.0 lbs for my weight loss. Even-Steven, no loss, no gain. But how the hell am I ever going to man up if I can't even admit to screwing up. So, there are my numbers - it is what it is.

Next week - it'll be a lot freakin' different.

Do what the man says!

Vacation is WAR.

That may be a little dramatic, but not much. I'm back from eight glorious days of eating, drinking, and sun bathing [while wearing my spf 70, of course]. Our trip was a total blast, and I had a ton of fun. However, sticking with "the plan" while you are 700 miles from home can be hella tough.

First off, I should mention the GOOD. I completed all my runs while I was there. I did five separate runs while on vacation, people!!! That deserves a standing ovation of some sort!! Even heading out to run was a huge battle, however. Who wants to get up at 6:30am for a brisk 5 mile jog when you can sleep in? It was tough. Everything was, really.

I felt like I was constantly warring with myself about one thing or another. Running, eating right, drinking, the list goes on. I'm actually pretty proud I only gained a half pound this week with all the temptations I was put up against. I was in hopes I'd do better, but well, that shit was hard!

Everyone wants to feed you when you visit them. Everyone wants to buy you a drink. Oh, and added to all this mayhem was the fact that my husband got offered a new [and much improved!!!] job while we were mid-vacation. It was total celebration time!!!!

So there you have it. I had one foot off the wagon, but I didn't completely fall off. I did drink green smoothies, I did run, and I really tried to avoid all things battered and greasy. [Eww!] I wish I could come back and report that I achieved perfection, but it just didn't happen.

On a positive note, however, I really could feel the physical changes I've made while I was at Disneyland. Normally, after spending an entire day walking around a theme park, toting kids in and out of strollers, I'm wiped and exhausted. This time, not so much. I felt energized all day long. That's saying something. It showed me how much promise I really have.

So onward and upward. I'm hoping this is going to be a stellar week! Time to get back on track and focus.

Monday Fat Stats - Week 18

I put off writing this week's fat stats because I'm fighting a very bad attitude. I didn't want to say anything that would be discouraging to other people. But, the thing is, even those horribly annoying I'm-so-so-so-haaaaapppyyy-ALL-the-time, super duper perky type of people, everyone gets discouraged. And if you are trying to lose weight, it's not all unicorns and rainbows. It's HARD. Some days it's like I'm not even capable of doing the right thing. When I screw up, I end up beating myself about, then I feel even worse, which of course makes me want to eat, or better yet - use up an entire weeks calories drinking ice cold beer. And the cycle begins...

Has my attitude changed? Sadly, no. I have a tendency to be quite emo, and right now I can't seem to dig myself out of my funk.

So, really this isn't a motivating, or enlightening, or funny post. It's life. Shit happens.

But you know what? I haven't quit - I'm sitting here writing this aren't I?

Fat Girl Slim's Week 18 Numbers

Muffin Top's Week 18 Numbers

I Thought Running Was Just Putting One Foot In Front Of The Other…

Running entails a lot more than putting one foot in front of the other. I really wish someone could have clued me in on this. There are so many things that I never considered. Some pretty important and definitely not-at-all-easy things.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a pro at this. I'm a (just barely) semi-capable novice (so please don't take my word as gospel). If I have to worry about these things though, chances are you will too. Hopefully one or two of my ideas might help you out along the way.

So, in no particular order:

Pushing through wall(s)
Fact: if you run, you will inevitably come up against the most dreaded "wall". For those of you not yet acquainted with the wall, let me try and explain it to you. For me, hitting a wall is when my entire body has a sudden surge of complete exhaustion. It's like every fiber of my being is screaming at me to "GO SIT DOWN". This is much more than the tiredness and wear you feel from the run itself - it's your body saying "well, that was fun, but now I'm DONE". Problem is there are no physical antidotes. This is where the mental battle is waged – which, for me, is the hardest part of running.

I've found that I need to just accept the fact that walls are going to come, and try to recognize (and deal with) them while I'm running. Maybe for super athletes (read: not me), it's not much of an issue. But for me, walls are inevitable and if I'm going to make it through, I have to prepare myself for how I'm going to handle them. My first instinct is to want to throw in the towel; so I have to coach myself, tell myself that it is just a wall. I'm not actually going to die - all I have to do is keep it up. Wait it out for a minute, and eventually…

The wall will come down. 

I am stronger than my physical pains. 

I'm not going to lie and say that this makes the walls feel any better - but it does get me through them without completely destroying my confidence in my ability to run. I don't have much confidence in my abilities at this point, so anything I can do to reinforce and protect the confidence I do have is really vital.
 

This is some crazy wall-pushing! Or, just plain crazy...

Fueling the machine
Even though it is much, much more - at the basic level, our bodies are (biological) machines. The saying that you are what you eat is essentially true. The things you put in your mouth, um eat *cough* are the materials your body is going to use to replace dead and dying cells. So, that desert you said would go straight to your hips? Yeah, you were right. 

Like trying to run a sports car on regular unleaded – trying to exercise when you've been filling up on pizza, beer and cookies just does not work. Sure, you can gimp your way through it, but it will never feel very good. On days when my run seems extra hard, when I really struggle - I inevitably look back at my last couple of meals and realize that they pretty much sucked nutritionally.

When I eat well, I feel good and my body just works better. Plain and simple. Well, the idea is simple enough – the execution is a whole different story. I'm still working on that one…

Um, no. Really, just...  no

Getting out the door
I've never come back from a run thinking "I wish I hadn't done that". The regret only comes when I bag out a run. But without fail I spend my time before a run thinking of reasons why I really shouldn't go right now, why doing it later would really be a much better idea, how it's okay to miss just one run. It's another mental game.

For me the biggest help in getting out there is to have someone to do it with. I can't even tell you how much I've missed having my running buddy this week (ugh! Now Fat Girl Slim is going to come back all big headed and full of herself). Doing it by your self is just plain hard. It's such a relief when you don't always have to be the strong one. Me and FGS inevitably take turns having to drag each other out of the office. On days when I just can't get motivated she's there to tell me to nut up. When she's not feeling it, I can tell her that I'm going with or without her.

I realize that it's not always practical or sometimes even possible to have a running buddy. If this is true for you, it's super important to surround yourself with encouraging people. Ones who know your goals and want for you to achieve them. On Wednesday I put off my run all day. I didn't during work, and then I didn't do it when I left work. Then I had to make dinner, get the kids in bed, etc. I finally did go, but it wasn't until 7:45 when my husband basically goaded me out the door. Thank God for him because, if left to my own devices, I would have never gone.

I hope you might find a little tid-bit of something to help you along the way in my ramblings J

Until next time, here's a little feel good quote for you:

"We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort."

- Jesse Owens

P.S. The most awesome Skinny Runner is having a give away of some super cute compression socks. We love her here at HA2HM - check her out here or under "Blogs We Love" to the left!

The Beats

So I've realized we've been at this blog for a long time and no one has posted a playlist. I don't commonly listen to music when I run these days. I typically do every run with MT, and we generally can fill the forty minutes of run time with idle chatter about celebrities, colleauges, fan fiction or anything else for that matter. You name it, we've probably talked about it on a run.

With me being on vacation this week though, [holla!], I made a playlist for my treadmill runs. I figured I'd post it here so you all could get some ideas. Yes, I realize some of these songs are lame. I get that. When I'm running however, a different portion of my brain takes over. These songs motivate me. I hope they motivate you as well!!

Fat Girl Slim's Current Running Playlist

Gonna Fly Now - Rocky
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyonce
Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry
Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
How Low - Ludacris
So What - Pink
Down With The Sickness - Disturbed
Cherry Bomb - The Runaways
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
Sexy Bitch - David Guetta
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Stronger - Kanye West
Pump It - Black Eyed Peas
Breaking The Law - Judas Priest
Empire State Of Mind - Jay-Z
Survivor - Destiny's Child
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5

The Big Green Hump: Week 17

So while I'm busy at Disneyland this hump day [or potentially yesterday, depending on when we decided to go], you guys need to get busy with this smoothie. Or should I say get busy DRINKING this smoothie. Not sure how well it would work out to actually get busy with it. I've heard of using fruit during foreplay, but this probably won't work great for that.  A little too runny and sticky and ewwww....

Ok, now what was I talking about? Oh yeah, smoothie recipe. This one is particularly yummy with fresh, in season fruit. So here it is, aptly named, non?

"The Spring Break"

2 cups green or red seedless grapes (I prefer red)
3 kiwis, peeled
1 ripe orange, peeled, seeds removed
1 tbsp agave nectar
1 small leaf of aloe vera, with skin
5 leaves red leaf lettuce
2 cups water

Blend. Drink. Repeat.  This smoothie is 6 WW points.

Monday NO Stats - Week 17

Fat Girl Slim has abandoned me. My office mate and running buddy, the only other girl in an office entirely made up of computer geeks (read: men) - she's gone.

Woe is me.

And she isn't even sorry about it. She's in southern Cali hanging out by the pool. For an entire week. I wasn't even invited. (Not that I could have gone, but that's not the point)

She told me last week that she was absolutely not going to weigh in or do measurements while on vacation. So, I've decided that I'm not going to either! It's only fair. Plus she's not here to bitch at me! Bonus!

It's Monday, and Monday sucks. The weekend is a memory, and entire work week stretches out before you.

Yep, I've got a BIG ol' case of the Mondays...

Mondays are hard for me - and facing a lunch time 3-miler all by my lonesome didn't help my attitude this morning. I did my scheduled 4.5 miles early Saturday morning. Usually while I'm running I chat it up with FGS, so I completely spaced bringing some music with me. Now don't get me wrong, I crack myself up, but after the first 20 or so minutes I was completely bored with myself. There's nothing like a little juicy gossip to make the miles fly by!

Knowing exactly what fun I was in for did not help in getting me out the door. Go I did though, eventually. The first mile was okay, by the end of the second I was thinking "screw this!". I hate to admit it, but I seriously considered cutting the run short. After all, who would know? Problem was - I would know. I would know that I was doing exactly the same thing that I have always done, I was giving up on myself.

So, if nothing else, FGS being gone has shown me how much everyone needs a little help and encouragement. Having a workout "buddy" to keep you company and get you out the door on days you just don't want to, is priceless. I've really begun to understand the last few days, but don't tell you-know-who, she'll just get a big head.

Vacation: Starting NOW.

Happy Friday afternoon, bloggie folk. Fat Girl Slim here. I'm literally bouncing up and down in my chair. In just a few minutes I'm going to get in the car and drive twelve solid hours. Only stopping to pee, eat and get gas. Then it's nine days of chillaxing with the family. Eating good food, visiting cool people, swimming, lounging, and oh yeah, running my ass off. You didn't think I'd forget to run, did you?

To say that I'm too keyed up to write anything of importance would be quite the understatement today. I am completely and totally focused on making this a healthy vacation, however. I've got my eyes on the prize. I want to come home with a weight loss for the week. I really have no excuse. I've got my DVDs, I've got my Vita-mix, and my sister has a treadmill.

I figured since I'm so spastic today, I'd just leave everybody with a few motivating quotes. I'll probably need a little motivation to stay away from all the crazy, yummy food my family cooks. Here's a few of my favorite quotes from days recent.

Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness. ~Edward Stanley

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states. ~Carol Welch

Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, “Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?”- Peter Maher, Canadian marathon runner

Continuous effort -- not strength or intelligence -- is the key to unlocking our potential." ~Liane Cardes

Have a great weekend, friends.

Time Is NOT On My Side

No matter how you use it, time is passing you by.

We each have a finite amount of time on this earth. I don't know about you, but a lot of my time feels like it just drags on and on and on - especially the time that I spend at work and away from my kids. It's not that I don't have anything to do either. But I spend so much of time anticipating (or dreading) the next thing on my list of things to do. Every day I've got to get up, get ready, pack lunches, get my boys ready for school, get them to school on time, get myself to work on time, do work and work and work, pick the boys up from school, bring them home, clean the house a little until Mr. MT gets home, go back to work for another 1.5 to 2 hours, go home, make dinner, do bath time, hang out with the kids for a little, try to get them to bed on time, do a little more laundry/cleaning, and finally get into bed way to late. (That doesn't even include the days we have soccer or bmx...)


And then I get up and do the whole damn thing again.

Me on a GOOD day (not actually me personally, but you get the idea)

Looking back though, it's as if time is just racing by. And I can't for life of my figure out where the hell it's gone. I swear to you my baby boy was just born, he was a toddler just the other day. Somehow though, we celebrated his FIFTH birthday a couple of months ago!!! WTF?! When the hell did that happen???


So, what does this have to do with half marathons, or exercise, or getting healthy?


No matter how you spend your time ... if you exercise or if you don't ... whether or not you have the very best of intentions, time is going to slip by you.

In a month from now, a year, a decade - I'm going to be something somewhere. I have to choose right now if, when I get there, I'm going to be still whining about how I "coulda shoulda". Will I be saying oh poor me I don't have the time to exercise as much as I need to. Am I going to skip preparing and packing healthy snacks and meals because it just takes SO much damn time?


Yeah, I don't have free or spare time right now. But if I don't MAKE the time NOW - nothing is ever going to change. It will be 5 years from now and I'll be saying how amazed I am that my baby is 10 and I'll still be fat and unhappy.


Nothing will have changed.


So I'm carving out that time now. What do I have to lose?


I'll tell you what - I'm losing that damn muffin top!!!

The Big Green Hump: Week 16

Let's detox, everyone, shall we? As you all know, I've ate like crap the past few days. It's been really bad. So I figured now would be a great time to try a detoxing smoothie. I found a recipe that was recently featured on ABC News. Apparently this particular smoothie is great for cleansing the liver [Pay attention MT!! I know you like to wreak havoc on your liver!!!], as well as draw heavy metals out of the body.

As usual, this smoothie is also loaded with vitamins, phytonutrients and fiber. So give it a whirl, and enjoy the health benefits of a good old fashioned detox!

"The Cure"
1 1/2 cup of cold water
1 head of romaine lettuce, coarsely chopped (may substitute any leafy green vegetable you have on hand)
3 large stalks of celery
2 apples, cored and chopped
1 banana
1/3 bunch of cilantro (may double the parsley if you don’t like cilantro)
1/3 bunch of parsley
Juice of 1/2 a fresh lemon

Blend it all together and drink up.  This smoothie is 3.5 WW points.

Nut Up, Beyotch!

I've been feeling like a slug all day. Lack of sleep + bad eating decisions = totes whiney FGS this week. This afternoon as I sit at my desk, I've been mentally berating myself. Why in the hells bells did I eat a fucking hamburger for lunch? [With French fries, no less!] What would possess me to have a Mt. Dew with my breakfast? My brain is mush right now, and I have the 4pm munchies like I had a really good last dance with Mary Jane. [And let me assure you, I most certainly DID NOT, or I'd be in a much better mood.] It's like I'm slipping into vacation mode four days pre-vacation, and that's totally ridiculous, because I don't even plan on eating this unhealthy during the actual trip! I've been a blubbering, emo mess all day over this and enough is enough really!

That's what I've been doing all day!

Friends, it's time to nut up. I was thinking maybe I'd just head to bed early tonight since I'm feeling so out of sorts. You know, skip the workout, and just relax. About fifteen minutes ago however, I realized that I'm just not going to freaking do that. That is quitting! That is giving in! That is the behavior of the old me, and I cannot bear to be that person anymore.

It's time to do some damage control. First, I started downing water. I'd realized in my lameness, I haven't even touched the stuff today. I'm plowing down a good 64oz before I head home. Next, I'm going to make a green smoothie for dinner because I assure you, I haven't had anything healthy today whatsoever. Finally, I'm going to pick a work out and do it. Even if it is going to hurt and I don't want to! Sometimes exercise is the only way to get myself back in the correct frame of mind, and I am sorely in need of that right now.

Yep, I could use something like this to get me going...

It's hard for me to admit when I've been having a rough week. It's tough to stop the freight train once it's going full speed ahead, you know? However, that's exactly what I'm doing. At 4:30pm on a Tuesday, I'm saying "No more!", because I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

Monday Fat Stat's Week 16

Holy hell, it's week 16! How did that happen? I'm quite honestly dumbfounded that we've kept this up for so long. Who would've thought we would still be going strong after 4 months? Of course, I wish that I had lost all the weight I wanted to by now, but I'll get there eventually.

What have I done this 4 months? Last week we ran a total of 12 miles, not to shabby if you ask me. That's almost a half marathon (just spread out over a few days). Yesterday morning FGS and I went for a FOUR mile run. That's right, no walking either! Never in my life have I been able to do that. Kick ass, non? And guess what we did today on our lunch? We ran another 3 miles. Holla!!!

Now, I'd be totally lying to you if I said my ultimate goal is anything other being skinny. I'd even like to be too skinny - like my thighs don't even touch - skinny. And if running is the conduit to achieving this - I'm lacing up my shoes...

Why, oh why, can't I look like this?! It's just not fair!

Here's what went down this week - number wise, not a super week. Right now I'm just focusing on the fact that I ran twelve miles last week and trusting that next week the numbers will reflect that.

Fat Girl Slim's Week 16 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 16 Numbers:

I've heard that losing slowly is the best way to lose weight. Yeah, that sucks. I need some instant gratification and it's just not going to happen that way. The only thing I can do right now is to focus on all of my accomplishments so far, look at what my body is capable of, and most importantly, do not give up.