Friday, January 29, 2010

Goodbye Liquid Satan, It's Been Fun.

Growing up, I was never allowed to drink any kind of soda. My mom assured me it would rot my teeth and make me evil. She called it "legal crack", and though I hate to admit it, mom was right on the mark. Although I don't think it is really classified as a gateway drug, the stuff is addictive and really bad for you.

Apparently, this shit will kill you!
When Muffin Top and I decided to start this "ditch the chunk" movement, one of the first things I mentioned was quitting our Diet Dr. Pepper addiction.  MT was less than thrilled. You see, we work at a great company. They are so great, in fact, that they stock an entire refrigerator with beverages for us. An entire cabinet is dedicated to junk food of all kinds. This works out well for all the skinny, programmer dudes in need of a sugar high, but not so much for me and my fat ass.

The problem with having soda available 24/7 is simple. You drink it. Even when you don't really want one, it's there, so you drink it. Soda drinking is without question my worst habit. I'm hard core, can’t you tell? But drugs are so not my thing, and smoking is gross. I do soda. I'm such a bad ass.

Don't worry boys, I don't do bad ass well either...

Let's be real though, the wonderfully, sugary effervescence may seem harmless, but it's not. It's bad for your teeth (just ask my mom!). It's bad for your waistline, and I don't give a flying fuck if it's diet. That's even worse. Those chemicals probably turn into formaldehyde in your body. And I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want to be embalmed until I'm actually dead. Even when I’m dead I don’t plan on being embalmed, if you want to know the truth. I’m not a fan of tight spaces, so no one better bury me in the ground, that’s all I’m saying. Are you reading this, Mr. FGS? Don’t put me six feet under!

Back to the matter at hand, there's no easy out for this one. MT and I had to drop soda like the bad habit it was. It's the debil. Those first several days without it were a nasty bitch. I'm on day 11 though, and so far (even though it's only 11 am) I haven't even had a craving! That's progress, my friends.

In lieu of liquid Satan, I've been drinking a lot of water and unsweetened iced tea. You don't even have to ask, because I'll tell you. It sucks so hard. However, there's no time like the present to make these changes. Skinny is waiting.

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