Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Withdrawal Is A Nasty BITCH.

I'm sitting here at my desk, and I'm about to fully lose my shit. I'm hungry. I'm REALLY hungry. I'm shaky. I'm starting to get a bad headache.

Today is the second day of "operation stop being a fat ass", and as I've noticed before when I've stopped eating shit food, I feel like, well, shit. I quite literally feel like I'm coming down with some sort of sickness and it's ridiculously sad that food makes me feel that way.

This may or may not be me today...

My body is screaming, "Feed me, Seymore!!!", yet my head is saying, "Shut up, Bitch! We've got weight to lose!" My mind is right, I fully know this. I also know the horrible way I'm feeling is a direct result of that annoying douche monkey known as withdrawal. If I can just give my body a couple of weeks, I won't have these annoying symptoms. But oh my hell, what do I do now???

That plant is a lot like my stomach right now...

I figured I'd post a list of the things I'm doing to keep myself from clawing out my eyeballs or chewing off my arm.

1) Chew Gum. Yeah, yeah, I know it isn't good for your jaw. I understand. For some reason however, having something to chew has really been helping me. Maybe it's like quitting smoking. You need something to occupy your mouth (that's what she said).

2) Drink a lot of water. Or you could try unsweetened tea. It doesn't compare to Mt. Dew or a milkshake, I know, but it does help that crappy feeling. Also, it's a great way to detox and rid your body of excess fluids. Nobody needs to be puffy.

3) Take a little walk. If you work at a desk, get away from it for a few. Anything that you can do to get yourself in a new environment for a few minutes will help take your mind of that gnawing pit that is your stomach.

4) Take some drugs. If you get a headache from lack of sugar (or caffeine), take something! Don't be a martyr. A couple ibuprofen or Tylenol can really take the edge off.

And remember, distraction is key. Do anything to keep yourself diverted. Talk with friends. Call your mother. Hell, surf porn on the internet if that floats your boat. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to not stuff your face.

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Hang in there. If nothing else, writing this entry has stopped me from eating a Snickers. It's amazing what I can be proud of these days.

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