Friday, January 22, 2010

Honesty is NOT the Best Policy

Now, don't get me wrong - in general, telling the truth is usually your best bet. Especially when your memory is as bad as mine. If you don't lie, you never have to worry about what you actually told someone versus what really  happened.

What I'm talking about here is being honest with yourself. If I take a real look at the things that I tell myself - I'm betting that a good 50% of it is crap. Think about it - what is going through your head when you look at yourself in the mirror? When you see your most worrisome "trouble" spot in the reflection? I'm guessing it's not "WOW! In no time at all I'm going to have that all slim and shaped up!". My thought process generally runs along the lines of "Oh gross - that is just nasty. I'm never going to get rid of those rolls."

"Ugh - there is way to much junk in that trunk!"

Or how about when you are exercising? Are you thinking "Oh Lawd I'm gonna die", "can't breathe", "will this NEVER end", "kill me now"?
Or when you missed a workout? Do you bemoan the fact, or like me, are you perfectly content because you never wanted to work out in the first damn place?

These are the "truths" that I don't want to be telling myself. I was reading some past entries by my hero "V" over at Violent Acres and realized I could really use her strategy. (Follow the link to read about it)

Basically, it's this - when I'm working out and find myself starting to think "Why am I doing this to myself? The pain! Has it really only been 5 minutes?",  I repeat to myself "I love this! This feels SO good! I never want to stop!" I've been doing it on my last few runs, with every breath (which is about 2 footfalls) I think "LOVE this". So far I'm not fooling anybody. But I have faith, if I say it over and over and over and over and over... Eventually I will just think it without having to tell myself to. Then, at some point, I will just accept it as truth.

Useless Jeopardy knowledge - this quote isn't from Malcolm X, it was repeated by him.

On days where I can't (or just don't) workout, I try to scold myself. Tell myself how icky I feel, how much better the day would have been if only I had exercised.

What's really hard for me is when I'm looking in a mirror. I don't know why it's so hard to just be nice to myself. It's not that I want to become some ego-maniac - I just want to be positive and not get depressed every morning when I get out of the shower and see the reflection of my sagging, stretch marked, nastiness. I'd like to be able to honestly same to myself "Not to shabby MT, not to shabby".

So, what do you think? Can you do it? Can you lie with me? (That sounds way more fun that it really is!)

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