Monday, January 11, 2010

How Did This Happen?

It was 4pm on a Friday when my good friend J asked me one last time, "Are you coming to my wedding reception tomorrow or what?". Crap. I was out of potential reasons as to why I couldn't. The babysitter was secured. None of my kids were sick. I even had a decent looking outfit, and my husband was totally game. So what's the hold up, you ask?

It's pretty simple. I'm fat. And not JUST fat, but I'm also pretty damn vain.

I realized that if I decided to show up at this wedding reception, my lumpy ass would be face to face (ok, not literally) with my first boyfriend, who I was sure would attend. The first boy I ever tongue kissed. This is the boy I held hands with every day on my way to P.E. and talked on the phone for hours to every night. Now realistically, I know I shouldn't care that he'd be there. We broke up after 2 months, and I've had many a boyfriend since. And I have a pretty damn good looking husband, I might add. Did I mention I'm vain? Seriously, what if his wife is supermodel hot? What if he's a body builder with chisled pecks and beautiful veneered teeth?

I was fretting over my decision to go when Muffin Top (MT), my friend and next-desk-over co-worker, tried to make me feel better. "He is probably balding and suffers from Erectile Dysfunction", she told me. Maybe so, but I suddenly realized that still wouldn't make me feel better about myself. I'm still fat. How did this happen to me??

Ok, shut up, I know how it happened. It took lots of eating brownies, making babies and drinking way too many margaritas to get this body. Not all at the same time, I might add. I did not make babies and drink tequila in the same nine month period. I'm irresponsible and dysfunctional at best, but there was no alcohol involved in making my babies. Hell, I even tried to avoid caffeine!

All joking aside, I realized I'm not ok with being fat. Becoming a recluse and avoiding social functions are no longer valid options for me. After talking with MT, we decided to get in shape. And even more than that, we decided to get healthy and run a 1/2 marathon. This blog is here to document our journey into insanity.

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