Friday, February 19, 2010

Stupid People....aka Managing Your Stress

I really hate cannot stand stupid people. And yet, they surround me, they follow me everywhere I go; they single me out as the perfect person to drive to new levels of insanity. Some people say that I just need to be nicer, more understanding, have more patience. Well, I say if you weren't a stupid ass hat there would be NO need for me to have any of those qualities. How can I understand pure idiocy?

I see stupid people

My tolerance is especially low on Fridays. With the weekend so close, I can almost taste it. I can be a pretty chill girl; I mean Fridays are known around the office as "Bob Friday" because I listen to Bob Marley all day. If Bob can't mellow you, really what can?

*** Whoa, Nelly!!!  This is where I have to step in.  Fat Girl Slim here!  MT asked me to finish this post, because she knew she had a point when she started, but then she just lost it.  Forgive her.  To say she's had a stressful day would be a serious understatement at this point.  No need to talk about work on the blog, but I think we can all agree that some days are total stress and bullshit no matter WHAT kind of job you have (or don't have).

Oh wow, this looks JUST like MT today!

Co-workers can suck.  Bosses can suck.  Hell, even our spouses and friends can suck sometimes.  Stress is all around us on a nearly suffocating basis, so how do we keep our heads above water?  [MT needs this post today, because clearly she's drowning.]

Have we talked yet about the fact that stress can actually make you fatter?  Apparently stress can raise those cortisol levels, and raised levels can lead to more fat.  Somehow.  I'm no scientist.  I think I actually heard that on The View or Oprah or some equally as obnoxious television vomit.  Point being, I don't need even ONE MORE THING to make me fat!!!  So I've been working on my inner Zen master.  MT can listen to Bob Marley all she wants, but let's face it.  If he's not here in the flesh, offering up a joint, he's probably not helping her stress level all that much. 

Make it all better, Bob!!!

So I present you with my list.  [Pay attention MT!!]  These are the steps I'm taking in my life to combat the stress.  It's probably nothing you haven't all heard before, but you have to actually implement changes for them to work!

1) Get eight hours of sleep a night.  This sounds like a no brainer, but how often do you NOT do this?  You think you can get by on 6, or you think you can make it up in coffee.  Guess what?  You can't!  Our bodies need sleep, and I shit you not, ever since I've been adamant about getting my eight in, I've been a nicer person.

2) Lay off the caffeine.  It raises your blood pressure.  It gives you highs and lows.  If you are prone to any kind of anxiety, consider it doubled when you drink your morning coffee.  Remember, nobody likes a nasty bitch face!

3) Keep up with the exercise.  It combats stress people.  If you are more douche monkey and less peaceful citizen of the world, perhaps you should look into some yoga.  Or Pilates?  Or anything really that helps release some tension.

4) Practice meditation.  I told you I was a Zen master!  30 minutes of calm, peaceful breathing exercises can really make a difference in your stress level.  Some nights I'll simply lay in a hot bath for awhile and just listen to myself breathe.  I always get out feeling relaxed, calm and ready for the EIGHT hours of sleep I'm going to get.

5) Hang out with friends.  And make sure your friends aren't boring assholes while your at it.  We all need to laugh, so make sure you are doing that often enough.  Sometimes just getting out for an evening with Mr. FGS or a friend can make all the difference in the world.

Let's all take a moment to note that getting WASTED all weekend long is nowhere on this list!!!  Alcohol can cause more anxiety than you realize.  And it's certainly not fat free!!

I'd love to bore you all with more ideas, but you all must forgive me.  It's 5:00pm on Friday, and the best two day de-stresser of all is about to start.  Have an amazing weekend!


  1. I'm picking 2 of those to start with. Less caffeine & more exercise. Once those become more or less a habit, will keep another from the list above. Haven't decided which yet. The reason I'm not trying all your suggestions is because everytime I try to change a whole lot of stuff at once, it only works for a week or two. All of your ideas should be for long term.

  2. I'm willing to try most of them - but you'll have to pry my coffee cold, dead, lifeless hands ;)