Terrified.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Work has been really busy, and home has been really busy, and well, I just didn't have a lot of time to update the blog as I would've liked. I'm getting ready to go on vacation [leaving next Friday, holla!], and I swear real life has just been kicking me in the metaphorical balls the past two weeks.

Real life on the left.  Me on the right.

Things with the diet/exercise/hell regimen have been going surprisingly well this week. Ok, so I haven't ate perfectly [Why oh why did I down two Mt. Dews this morning?!?!], but the running and Shredding are really starting to get easier. MT and I ran a solid 3 miles yesterday, and I didn't even feel terribly winded. Sweaty, yes. On the brink of death, no. So that must be a good thing, right? It may have taken almost four months, but we seem to finally be in a good pattern. I'm still not losing weight at the rate I wish I was, but I AM losing. Lots of blood, sweat, tears and all that, but it's going in the right direction.

So why the hell am I absolutely terrified? I've noticed lately that I'm constantly scared to fall back in old patterns. I mean, shit, I'm going on vacation, away from all stressors, and I almost had a heart attack thinking I may not be able to run. I had started researching weekly passes at the local gyms!! Fortunately, my sister I'm staying with has a treadmill, so running will be no problemo, and The Shred and Yoga Meltdown are just DVDs, so they are portable. What has gotten into me? Six months ago I wouldn't even consider working out on vacation. Who the fuck does that? I'd pig out and relax and not really care too much about the five pounds I gained. I can't do that anymore though. Five pounds took me almost five weeks to lose. No freaking way I'm putting that much weight back on, only to have to lose it again. No freaking way I'm going to slack off on exercising so I can just be miserably sore and tired when I get back home and start again. I'm even hauling my Vita-mix blender on vacation with me so I can whip up a green smoothie on a moment's notice.

Apparently I do it wrong these days...

This may all sound like complete insanity to most people, I'm aware. However, anyone who's been in my shoes probably understands. It's SO [that's what she said!] hard to start running. It's unbelievably hard [she said that too...] to do The Shred. I can't tell you how many days I was in almost crippling pain from pushing myself so hard. I simply can't do that again. I can't go back to the person who could barely walk for 2 days after doing the Level 1 Shred.

So yeah, it may sound strange, but I'm terrified. I’m so terrified that I'm going to work out every day of my vacation, just as I would at home. It's funny, because I was always under the impression that's what crazy people did. I may or may not be joining the ranks of insanity. Don't judge.

Monday Fat Stats: Week 15

I know these are called the "Monday" fat stats, but there's this super annoying thing I have to deal with called real life. I hate it, it gets in the way of every freakin' thing I want to do!

So, down to business - FGS and me both lost this week! No big surprise, the bitch lost more than me again. It's a good thing I'm such a nice person - otherwise I would totally hold that shit against her!

Fat Girl Slim's Week 15 Numbers:

 

Muffin Top's Week 15 Numbers:

You may have noticed our lack of posting regularity. I'll fess-up, we've been slacking. It feels like we've been doing this forever, with no end in sight. Motivation is lacking - it happens. Our plan of attack? We are tenacious, we will not back down, will not let a few bad days take us down, will not stop what we have begun!

On that note, here's the (minimum) workout plan for the week:

This image is stored as "Torture Schedule"

Time (and energy) allowing - we will also try to incorporate pilates some mornings and either a session of the Shred, or one of Yoga Meltdown. Cause we are crazy like that!

Don't Ask Me How Fast I Ran

I am not fast.

That's just how it is. Maybe one day, when I'm in better shape and 25 pounds lighter, that will change. For now though, I'm pleased to just be able to run for 40 minutes straight. I can run THREE miles without stopping. Can I do 8 minute miles? Hell no. But I can keep-on keeping-on.

Did you know that only 10% of Americans are capable of running just one mile? And of that 10% I'm sure not all of them can hold out for 3 miles. So, as far as I'm concerned, I'm one of the few, the proud, the brave. I'm some kind of freaking elite athlete!!!

Me and this dude - were practically twins!

Why the confession you ask? I just want to get it out there, that way people can stop asking me how fast I ran my last 5K. I work with a guy whose wife pulls down 6 1/2 minute per mile averages during marathons. A guy in another depart is training for a 50K (yeah, that's 31 miles!) My boss runs 3 miles every day for his 'warm up' at the gym.

All that is great and I say good for them. But I'm not running against them - the only person I have to beat is myself. I need to know that I've done my absolute best.

So, when people ask we how fast my last 5K was I tell them it was SEVEN minutes faster than last year and that is was THREE minutes faster than my personal best. And for those super annoying and nosey people who can't just stop at that...

How fast is that? Fast enough.

Yeah, you know who you are. BACK OFF!!!

Monday Fat Stats - Week 14

Just got back from a lunch time run. I honestly thought I was going to pass out, it was an incredibly hard run. Not that it was to long or anything, just our usual 3 miles. My body was just not having it though. Weird. So, my attitude about running (and exercise in general) is not at an all time high. I'm trying to learn to accept that there will be "off" days - but if it sucks, it sucks - regardless if you accept it.

You have to get over it though. If you want to be healthy and fit you've got to let it go. No looking back, what's done is done. You have to acknowledge the successes you've had up to this point, and focus on your future successes. If you don't, there probably won't be any future successes.

So, a little success acknowledgement:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 14 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 14 Numbers:

Hell-to-the-Yeah!!! Granted, the pounds aren't coming off as quickly as I'd like, but they are coming off! I just have to continue being consistent. It works, I just have to do it. Crappy run be damned.

What about the future? Here's what we have on tap for this week:

Monday: 3 Miles
Tuesday: Cross Train
Wednesday: 2.5 Miles
Thursday: Cross Train
Friday: 2 Miles
Saturday: 3.5 Miles
Sunday: REST!

 Here's hoping for the best!

Why Alanis Morissette Is My New Idol, Or Something.

Cause she ran a marathon and fucked Ryan Reynolds. The end.

Go Alanis, it's your birthday!  We're gonna party like it's your birthday!

Ok, so that explanation is kinda short, but it really does cut to the quick of the matter, doesn't it? So how else could this whiney, man-scorned chick with one hand in her pocket be someone I'd idolize?

I've never really cared too much for Alanis. Ok, that's sort of a lie. There was a period of time, around 9th grade, where I totally dug her music. I mean, who didn't listen to "You Oughta Know" and wonder if going down on your guy in a theater was really all it took to make you a rockin' girlfriend? Then you realized you were way too chicken to actually DO that, so if Alanis really did she must be super cool. She sort of lost me though when she went through her crazy, healing India phase, and I went to high school. She really hasn't been on my radar since. Until last week, that is.

Who didn't own this album??  Right?  Right?

I was reading some quotes from Runner's World articles and I came upon this one, which I loved:

I think there is no better way to invite a human being to view their body differently than by inviting them to be an athlete, by revering one’s body as an instrument rather than just an ornament. It’s a really great way to reorient how you see your body so you can see it as this incredible, awe-inspiring machine that you need to fuel well in order for it to function.

What an awesome quote!!! Then I saw Alanis Morissette wrote it. The fuck? I didn't even know she was an athelete of any kind, let alone a runner. I ended up finding this interview she did for Runner's World, and wham, bam, thank you ma’am; she's now my new idol. I even listened to her music last week again. It was like re-living middle school [which was freaking vile, because middle school was the closest thing to hell I've ever experienced].

So of course, I start stalking googling her, and how could I forget that she bumped uglies [although I bet his isn't ugly!] with Ryan Reynolds? They were together for quite awhile, actually! And... almost better than that [ok, not really] is the fact that she drinks green smoothies and loves kale!! You guys know how I feel about kale!!! It's like Alanis and I are twins separated at birth. Or something. Except we must be fraternal, cause I'm definitely the fatter twin.

I think everyone should take a little time out to read her article. She's surprisingly level-headed and genuine. It seems as though she's moved swiftly past her "man-hating-whiney-sorta-psychotic" phase and into a new, healthy one. I like that. I like her. And I'm not confirming this, but I may have added "You Oughta Know" onto my running playlist, just for a little inspiration.

Monday Fat Stats: Week 13

 First things first - we ran our 5K this past Saturday morning. And let me tell you - we rocked that thing! We started out all gung-ho and really cooking time wise. This was not a smart thing. About a mile or mile and a half in it started to hurt. Really hurt. FGS couldn't sleep the night before and only managed about 4 hours of sleep. She was hurting even worse than I was! There was serious talk of vomiting for the last half of the 5K - it's the first time I've actually thought one of us was really going to puke. We made it through, and we finished that bitch THREE minutes faster than our personal best. Not only that, but we finished SEVEN minutes faster than last year!

To say I'm proud of us doesn't even begin to say it. We started out the C25K (Couch Potato to 5K) barely able to run for a minute straight. We fought our way through the entire training and ran our 5K in 37 minutes!!!

Other than the awesome run, what have we accomplished? I've lost TEN inches and 6.6 pounds :) Fat Girl Slim has lost 14.6 pounds and TWENTY THREE inches. Not to shabby, eh? Here are all the numbers:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 13 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 13 Numbers:

Now that the 5K is over, it's time to move on. Since our ultimate goal is a half marathon, it's time to start upping the mileage. We've picked, and registered, for our next race. We'll be doing the very aptly named S.O.B. (Siskiyou Outback) 15K in about 13 weeks. This race takes place on top of the beautiful Mount Ashland which, during the winter, is a ski resort. So let me tell you, there are hills, lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, of hills. I don't know if there is a straight level section at any point of the run. Is it ever gorgeous up there though. Here's a few pics taken from the trail:

 Views from the race route

As this is a 15K, it should be 9.3 miles. Not the S.O.B. though - the S.O.B. 15K is 9.7 miles. This bares repeating - we are going to run (not run/walk) NINE point SEVEN MILES! If that doesn't make us bad ass mo-fos, I don't know what does!!!

Obviously this is going to take some serious training and a shit ton of dedication. Using various training schedules I found on line, I compiled a training schedule for me and FGS given the time we have till the race (13 weeks), and the distance we need to cover by the end of that time. Here's what I've come up:

Yep, we're going to do this. On purpose.

 I'd be lying through my teeth if I didn't tell you I am seriously worried about surviving this. Just looking at these numbers makes my stomach turn. But, you know what? I thought the same thing about the C25K schedule and I made that 5K my bitch! So I say - bring it on S.O.B.!!!

This Is Going To Be Brief.

Tomorrow is our big 5k race.  For some reason I have a serious case of writer's block today, so I'm not posting anything of substance.  Sorry!  The nerves have gotten the best of me, what can I say?

Stay tuned to hear how the 5k turns out tomorrow.  I keep reminding myself that the only thing I'm competing against is my time from last year.  I can do this.