Holy F@*#ing Sh!t B@lls!!!

Oh SHIT!

Time has gotten away from me (obviously, considering the serious lack of posting going on around here!). Between work, the hospital, and life and general - I have gotten WAY off track with training for my upcoming half marathon.

In just under SIX WEEKS I will be dragging my not-in-very-good-shape ass 13.1 miles. Sans Fat Girl Slim no less :(

Woe is me!

Insert my mad spreadsheet making skills here and I've got a plan! It may (or may not) be doable, but I'm going to give it my all. Basically, I went online, looked at all the (free) half marathon training plans I could find and came up with my own quick and dirty 6 week plan.

Without further ado, here it is:

Just click on the image to open a larger version

I SWEAR to you I will keep you up to date with my progress.

Leave me some love to let me know you're out there. Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

Something I Never Thought I'd Say

Muffin Top was right. [OMG, I can't believe I actually admitted that out loud!!!] Let me say it one more time just for good measure. Muffin Top was right. After our half marathon was over and I "retired" from running, she told me that I'd miss it. [running, that is] I told her she was crazy. For a long time, I truly thought she was nusto. Not only did I NOT miss running, it actually felt freaking fantastic that I'd never have to do it again. MT could suck it because I DID NOT miss running. Whatsoever.

I'm lookin' at you, Muffin Top!!!!

Slowly though, ever so slowly, it's been creeping up on me without me actually realizing it. I can't seem to get my calorie burn to be where I want it for the day. I'm not eating as healthfully because I've lost that mind set of fueling my body. I constantly feel the need to set some kind of fitness goal in my life. Even my anxiety [which was almost non-existent while I was running] has come back in full force. All signs point to it, but hell if I was going to admit it, even to myself! I am pretty sure I actually MISS running. What's even worse??? I think I maybe, kinda, sorta want to start doing it again. You know, like on a regular basis. I MIGHT even want to train for an event again. Madness. I honestly can't even believe I'm putting this in writing.  I may be truly insane at this point.

Because I am, in fact, a nutter.

So be on the lookout for more info about this on a blog. I'm going to browse around the interwebs and attempt to find a new training schedule. I'm also going to take a long, hard look at my life and try to figure out what I really want. Do I want to go for the full marathon? Do I want to run another half? Or do I just want to consistently be able to put in five miles in a sitting? It's all up in the air right now, folks, but there's more to come.

Our 8 Week Half-Marathon Training Schedule

So, without further ado, here is our half-marathon training schedule:

It is based loosely on Hal Higdon's intermediate half training plan, but we adjusted it to work with our schedules/lives. It is only 8 weeks long because, well, that's how long there is until our half - the first annual Eugene Women's Half Marathon!!!

Can you believe it? We are really doing this shit. We paid our registration fees and IT'S ON!!! Now we just have to stick to it and before you know it we'll be posting pics from the finish line :)

And if you don't follow us on Twitter - you missed out on our pre and post race pics this weekend. Don't let it happen again - follow me and FGS today. Plus, I'm totally insecure and having all those followers makes me feel cool...

Nerves.

I've been sitting here all morning trying to figure out why I'm in such a funk. Nothing really wrong, I suppose, but I just feel edgy. I almost had full on panic attack when I realized I'm out of shot bloks, and I don't have time to get to the running store before Saturday. Fortunately, Amazon and their one day shipping made my shot bloks literally a click away. Problem solved. Yet I still feel like somebody is clawing my insides out. I feel terribly, horribly nervous. Why?

Then it hit me. It has to be the race, right? Even though it makes no logical sense for me to fear it, I do. I keep having all these crazy thoughts in my head. What if I can't finish the race? What if I get the runner's trots and crap all over myself? What if I die? What if Muffin Top isn't strong enough to drag my poop-stained body back to the start line and bears eat me and my family never has proper closure?

Remember this dude?  I don't wanna poop myself!!!

I've never ran a 15k race before. [That's 9.7 miles, peeps!] Sure, MT and I ran 10 miles straight a couple of weeks ago, but we did it alone, without an audience, and definitely not in front of a shit ton of people! [That sentence is begging for some sexual innuendo, but I'm a total FAIL today]. Also, this race includes A LOT of hills, and we only did limited hill running. I know I should learn to love hills, but I just... don’t. They scare me.

Is it going to feel like this?  Why is this dude naked?

Somewhere in a logical crevice of my brain, I know that once we get out there and get going, everything will be ok. We have to pace ourselves; we have to drink our water at appropriate intervals. We've trained for this. It actually takes a surprising amount of talent to eat a shot blok, wash it down with water and continue running without falling. But I've practiced this extensively, so I should be good to go! By this point, we've done so many long runs that I know exactly what to eat for breakfast before a run [clif bar, natch], and I know exactly how much water to drink so I don't end up pissing myself. [No more than 16oz during the hour before the race!]. I also know at which point I normally hit my wall, and I also know when I start to get past it. WE. ARE. PREPARED.

I can HANDLE the shit storm...as long as I don't shit myself.

At some point during the next 48 hours, I need to do the one thing I haven't yet. I need to nut up and believe in myself. That sounds totally hokey and cheesy, but it's quite literally the only thing I'm missing. I know I HAVE ran 10 miles before, but I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I actually DID. Somehow, I'm stronger than I think I am, and sooner or later I need to get that through my head. T-minus 48 hours and counting, people!