Life Will Never Be The Same

Very few things in life can truly be termed "life altering". That change your life so that everything becomes defined as before and after it occurred. You know, the big things - getting married, having children.

For me, Monday was life altering. My 8 year old son had, what I thought, was a bladder infection. He was peeing all the time and he was even having nighttime accidents. And that's just not something that he ever does. Even as a toddler he never wet the bed, so I knew something was off.

So, imagine my shock when the doctor looked at me and said,

"He has diabetes."

I can't even begin to describe the thoughts and emotions that went through me at that moment. That continue to go through me.

We had to bring him to the hospital where he had to stay for 3 nights and 4 days. They had to get his blood sugar under control. They had to teach us how to take care of him.

I'm not going to lie to you, there has been nothing easy about this experience. The first time I had to give my baby a shot I could feel my heart shatter. I cannot explain what it's like to have to poke and stab and inject your child.

I've never been more proud of my son though. He has been absolutely amazing. He's only 8 years old and he is doing all his own blood sugar testing and even does about half of his insulin injections.

I (think?) I might be starting to come to terms with the reality my family is faced with. But honestly, I just don't know. I'll think I'm fine and then it will hit me out of no where. I'll be cruising along and someone will ask me how I am and I'll nearly break down in tears. I'll be sound asleep and the alarm will go off at 2 am and I'll remember, I have to go wake up my child in the middle of the night and make him bleed.

So, if I'm not myself for awhile, I'm sorry. But really, I'll never be that same person I was before Monday.