Showing posts with label self sabotage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self sabotage. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My Own Personal Cheerleader

I was reading a post on 263 and Counting about self-sabotage, and it got me thinking. I am my own worst enemy. The way I talk to myself? I would never, ever talk that way to anyone else! I would never be so rude and degrading.

Why do I do it to myself? Why do I pretend it's okay to put myself down? To call myself cruel and hurtful things? Why do I find it acceptable to verbally abuse myself?

Honestly, I have no idea why. I'm sure some psychologist could find some deep seated issues from my childhood...

But that's not really the point. The point is:

It is NOT okay.

At all.

Ever.

If someone else says something offensive to me, I am quick to defend myself. I am not the type of person to take bull shit lying down.

I have to do this for myself too! I deserve it.

Which brings me to another point. It's almost horrifying how little I believe in myself. Just typing those words "I deserve it" was actually hard for me. I don't think I actually believe those words. I don't know when it happened, but I've stopped even believing that I have the right to healthy and happy.

And you know what? That is utter bull shit.

I don't know how many of you out there are the same way - but we have got to stop this! If I don't believe I deserve to lose weight, how in the hell is it ever going to become a reality?

I need to become my own personal cheerleader. Because as fucking wonderful as you all are, if I don't root for myself it doesn't matter what anyone else says.

So, I say - GO M.T.!!!
 RAH! RAH! RAH!