Fat Stats - Week # Who The Hell Knows

I've been a bit emo lately, but that is changing. The big move has taken place and life is looking up. Unfortunately, my weight is also looking up.

So, this is literally some fatty "fat stats". It sucks, yes. But me and Fat Girl Slim are going to turn this shit around!

I'm gonna just show you the damage from the past few weeks straight up.

Fat Girl Slim's Weekly Numbers:

Muffin Top's Weekly Numbers:

So, um, yeah, big old "oops" right there.

If you saw yesterday though, FGS is headed to VEGAS! And no one wants to be a fat ass in Vegas. Me? I'm starting a new job in 3 weeks and plan to be significantly smaller than right now. My pants are tight, my muffin top is BULGING and things have got to change!

And change they will. We've done it before, we'll do it again. Even with 3 hours separating us.

I'm not feeling super hot tonight, I've got a bit of a cold. I'm going to bust out a plan for the next 3 weeks and tomorrow I'll be posting it for you all to see.

It's on like mo' fo' donkey kong bitches.

Like I've always said,

Words to live by!!!

Fat Stats Postponed

I didn't do fat stats yesterday. It was my last day of work with Fat Girl Slimmed

I'm not going to do them today either.

My heart hurts.

Way down deep in a place that cannot be reached by consolation. A place where nothing can really make it better, because damn it, it's NOT going to be better. It will be different, maybe even good, but it can't really ever be better.

I'm sitting at home when I should be at work with my homie. I'm packing up my family to leave my home. It's not just a house, it's where I've built a life, raised a family. There's a wall where we've marked our boys heights since they could stand up. Who's going to appreciate that when we leave?

I have no words of wisdom to impart. I have no inspiration to give. I only have a hole that can never be filled by anyone except the people I'm leaving behind.

I'm sorry this blog hasn't been what it should be lately, and I promise we will get back on track.

But right now? I just can't right now.

(Belated) Tuesday Fat Stats

Considering today is a fat stats day, we were bad girls.

We started out with really good intentions. It just went downhill from there.

Neither of us could even deal with the thought of going to the gym. Our solution? Spend our hour lunch going for a nice long walk.

And walk we did. We went down to Barnes & Noble and I got my 8 y.o. boy the next Captain Underpants book. Then we walked some more and ended up right smack dab in front of Apple Bee's.

I'm sure it will come as no big surprise that we talked ourselves into going in. Because we are in mourning. It's therapeutic. It cost less than a co-pay. And here's what we had (mine's in the front, FGS is in the back):

Nom, nom, nom

We made one serious mistake though. When we stumbled walked back into the office, our boys were not very impressed that we had not called to invite them. Oops.

They, of course, then felt the need to put this outside the door to our office:

Yes, we work with children

Not nice boys. Not nice.

Anyway, I'm rambling and that's not even the point of this post. It's fat stats time, so here goes:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 53 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 53 Numbers:

FGS had a nice week of maintaining - anytime you don't gain it's a win. Don't you ever forget it.

I've been so stressed out that I haven't been able to eat. At all. Hence the 2.8 pounds lost.

I wish I could say it was because I worked my butt off, but that would totally be a lie. I plan to continue this trend though. I will not move and become a fat ass. I will. not. do. it.

2nd Annual Fat Stats!!!

One short year ago today, our little blog was born with this post by Fat Girl Slimmed. Can you believe it?!

I honestly wasn't entirely convinced a blog was a good idea. Who would ever read it? It didn't mean I actually had to run a half marathon, did it? I mean, really, what was even the point?

Now listen closely, because this doesn't happen often. But since FGS did it that one time, I'm going to admit it - she was right about the blog. It has been a great place to vent, a place to stay accountable, a place where I get kudos, motivation, and comfort from you guys. Without it I don't know that I would've ever ran that half marathon!

I've got to tell you though, compiling the numbers for this week's fat stats I was more than upset. It's discouraging to see just how far I still have to go. But I'm not going to focus on that - I've ran a HALF MARATHON for Pete's sake!!!

So what have I accomplished? I'll tell you what, I've lost FOURTEEN inches. That's no small thang baby! I've also managed to lose 2.8 pounds (it was considerably more before the debacle that was the holidays). I'm going to put a positive spin on that and mention for that many inches lost, I've obviously replaced a bunch of fat with muscle!

Do I want more? Hell yes. Am I going to get there? Hell yes.

Muffin Top's Week 52 Numbers:

And our little FGS? How about her?

Home girl has lost a whopping THIRTY FOUR inches! Not only that, she's managed to lose (and keep off) 25.9 pounds. Can I get a hell yeah?!

Fat Girl Slim's Week 52 Numbers:

Stay tuned for my get-skinny-by-my-birthday plan tomorrow!

The First Fat Stats of 2011

I hope that you all aren't expecting epicness.

It is, after all, the first fat stats after that (should be) four lettered word - holidays. Can you hear the disgust in my tone?

Fuck the holidays, with it's pies, rolls, fudge, cookies, mashed potatoes, and the frequent family-induced drinking.

Because, you know what the end result is?

I'll tell you what. It's a fat ass.

Please, God, let my ass never be in this predicament.

Poor thing probably didn't even realize :(

But never fear - I am capable of ALL KINDS of fake perkiness :) Woo-fucking-hoo!

Seriously though, it's on. Like I've always said "nut up, or shut up". And, well, it's NUT UP TIME!!!

I'm turning 33 in two months and I have every intention of being considerably thinner than I am at this moment. This is a journey, and I'm in it for the long haul.

With that said, time to fess up the damage done over the last few weeks.

Fat Girl Slim's Weekly Numbers:

Muffin Top's Weekly Numbers:

Yes, there was some serious damage done.

No, it will not stay like that.

Stay tuned for our plan of action!!!

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 48

This week wasn't to bad, we both had a loss. Which is what we're looking for, right?

It wasn't epic though, which is what I want.

So, what am I going to do about it? I've got a PLAN people!!!

I recently got the new Jillian Michaels' DVD "6 Weeks to 6 Pack Abs" (review pending!), so I've got the 6 week time frame on the brain. I'm a spread-sheeting fool, so natch I opened up Excel and got down to business.

Here's what's on the schedule for the next 6 weeks of epicness!

Muffin Top's 6 Week Madness:

Click to see larger

Fat Girl Slim's 6 Weeker:

Click to see larger

Every week we'll check in with you and let you know how we did. Which workouts we rocked, if we missed any, etc.

Now on to the fat stats. Here you go:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 48 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 48 Numbers:

Coming next week: RESULTS people!

(Belated) Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 47

Seriously?! Week 47?!

How the hell did that happen?

I can tell you one thing for sure - I better be one skinny bitch by the time week 52 rolls around!

ONE YEAR - we've been doing this for almost ONE YEAR!!!

Today though? I'm not a skinny bitch. At least I'm rockin' half the equation right?

It's fat stats and while I'm not moving in the wrong direction, I'm also not moving in the right direction. Lame-sauce for sure.

Weeks without a loss feel like a losing week to me. Like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. I can't lie to you guys though - this week I haven't been the rock star I need to be.

To get what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done.

What have I done? Sat on my ass. Ate craptastic foods.

What has it gotten me? A fat ass and a craptastic attitude about myself.

It's time to do it like ROCK STAR!!!

So, here's our (unchanged) numbers.

Fat Girl Slim's Week 47 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 47 Numbers:

Stay posted for success of EPIC proportions :)

Fat Stats Are Tomorrow

Fat Girl Slim and me have been doing an office switcheroo. We had to paint the new office (including an accent wall, natch).

For reals people, there was even sweat involved...

Needless to say, we've been very busy and away from our computers. Hence the lack of posting.

But, good news, we are all done and moved in! There isn't any time to do fat stats today, but I will do them tomorrow after I get into the office. Swear!!!

You know this!

Week 46 (I'm Still) Fat Stats

Long time, no post.

How've you all been doing? I've been great - eating, drinking, having an all around great time.

What could possibly be wrong with that, you might ask. Well, the fact that I actually do not have the metabolism of a 12 year old boy is a major part of it. I made (and consumed most of) a homemade pecan pie. I gorged on candied yams. I drank my own body weight in red wine and white russians.

This is bad people, BAD!!!

Trust me, it wasn't no carrot I was stuffing in my face!!!

This is my very long winded way of saying I fuckered up. Big time.

Not only did I eat like a complete and utter MORON, I also didn't work out for A FULL WEEK. The shame!!!

With that said, if you read FGS's post yesterday you'll know that I wasn't alone in my debauchery. So, without further ado, here are the (super sad) numbers:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 46 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 46 Numbers:

So, yes - there was gain all around.

This is not the end.

We are re-committed.

We are on the wagon.

We are going to ROCK THIS SHIT!!!

Tuesday NO Fat Stats

No fat stats today peeps. Why? Because I'm fat and I don't want to.

I'm up 2 GDMF pounds and I'm pissed off at myself. I totally deserve to be up. I went out of town for the weekend and didn't track a damn thing that went into my mouth. Bad Muffin Top, BAD!

And it's not like it's going to get any better. It's 5:00 and I'm "officially" off for the next 5 days. Which, somewhat unfortunately, include Thanksgiving. I don't know what Thanksgiving is like in your house, but in my family we eat. And drink. And have dessert. And drink. And eat a little more.

What does this mean? Even FATTER Muffin Top! What the fuck am I supposed to do. I know skinny people make it through the holidays fine, but I'm scared. I'm really, truly, genuinely scared that I just do not have the self control necessary to not gain 5 pounds this weekend.

I'm packing all my workout stuff and bring my DVDs. My intention is to work out at least once a day, but I really want to get in 2 a days. Plus a family walk thrown in for good measure.

I'm hoping (with my fingers and toes crossed) that this will be enough. Please God, let it be enough.

A Belated Week 44 Fat Stats

Good news!!!

I passed my ADO.NET Microsoft certification exam that I took yesterday :) Yeah me!!!

Bad news :(

I've been so obsessed with studying and taking the stupid thing that I've neglected you all.

BAD Muffin Top! BAD! Someone needs a spankin' (any takers?).

And Fat Girl Slim and me had some pretty good stats too! Here goes:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 44 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 44 Numbers:

WHO'S YO DADDY?!

That's right - FGS & MT be yo daddy!!!

Tuesday Fat Stat's - Week 42

All in all, it was a so-so week. I've been in a really bad pattern the last few weeks. I weigh in on Tuesday, screw up majorly the next few days, then spend the few days before the next fat stats busting ass and double timing it.

Not good.

My goal for this week is straightforward - consistency. I need to workout everyday. I need to watch what I eat. I need to stay within my calories.

And, I've got to be honest with you, I've already screwed up. We had a department lunch this afternoon, which apparently, to me, means eat every single fattening thing you can stuff into your mouth. Damn it Muffin Top!!!

I know the sodium alone will kill me when I step on the scale tomorrow - but I'm going to do my best to not consume very many more calories, and I'm going to work out like a fiend tonight!

So? How did we do this week? Here goes...

Fat Girl Slim's Week 42 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 42 Numbers:

Stay tuned - we'll be posting the giveaway winner this afternoon :)

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 41

It's finally happened! I've lost TEN pounds!!! Woo-hoo :)

I'm sooo happy about this, I don't even know how to put it into words.

I'm doing it, I'm actually losing weight. For some unknown reason, reaching a solid 10 pound loss has really been reassuring to me. I'm not just trying to lose weight, I am losing weight!!!

When I realised this morning, I was bordering on giddy. I don't think that I've ever truly believed that I was going to be thin again. Some part of me has always thought it was just a pipe dream.

I don't want to be entirely self- centered, so I'd also like to point out that Fat Girl Slim is a mere 1/10 of a pound away from having lost THIRTY pounds!

*** Insert big fucking round of applause here ***

I don't even know what else to say but we kick some serious ass! For real!

On a side note, we will be putting up our giveaway post either today (time granted) or tomorrow at the very latest! WOOT!

Here's the official weekly numbers:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 41 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 41 Numbers:

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 40

I have a confession to make, I've been drinking the satan (aka Diet Dr. Pepper, aka sweet nectar of the gods).

I have another confession to make. The week that I lost the most weight ever was the week I didn't drink soda.

This pisses me off.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it on the blog before, but I am pre-diabetic and insulin resistant. My doctor told me straight up I should not drink soda, especially diet. It screws with your blood sugar worse than the regular stuff.

So, in addition to being fat stats, today is my final farewell to my sweet love:

Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways...

I bust my ass way to hard to let something like stupid soda stand in the way of my goals! Even though I really, really, really don't want to, it's something that just has to be done.

With that said, on to fat stats. It wasn't an epic week, but it was decent - and I'll take that over a gain any day!

Fat Girl Slim's Week 40 Numbers:

 Muffin Top's Week 40 Numbers:

 That's all for now - I'm going to iron out my workout plan for this week and post it later on.

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 39

This was a week of of mixed results. If you read Fat Girl Slim's post yesterday, you know that it wasn't an entirely successful weekend. But, that happens to all of us - the key is to pick yourself back up and start right where you left off. Another thing that I've found to be key is that you have to forgive yourself. You can't dwell on the negative, you can't focus on the failure - where you are pointed is where you will head.

Point yourself towards success!!!

With that said, here's this weeks results:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 39 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 39 Numbers:



This is a short post, but I am going to be posting my workout schedule later today to make up for it :)

*** PS ***
After we get 50 blog followers we will be doing a giveaway! So if you aren't a follower - do it now!!!

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 38

This last week was EPIC!!!

Both FGS and me lost 3.4 pounds apiece! How freaking cool are we?

It's really quite amazing what can happen when you really apply yourself. I've always known that keeping track of your calories in / out is supposed to produce results. I guess maybe I just didn't believe that it would work for me. That no matter what I do, I will fail.

Well, self-doubt, put that 3.4 pounds in your pipe and smoke it!

Here are the numbers, I believe they speak for themselves:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 38 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 38 Numbers:

In case you didn't notice, I thought I would point out that I also lost 1.75 inches this week! Woot!!!

I really believe that getting my GoWear Fit has been a major catalyst in getting in gear. I'll write more on that another day though.

Feel free to tell us how fabulous we are in the comments :)

Monday Fat Stat's Week 31

I'm going to start this weeks stats off with the data, here it goes:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 31 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 31 Numbers:

There are a lot of negative things that I could say right now. I'm frustrated, I'm depressed, I'm completely discouraged, I'm feeling like it's all been pointless.

But I'm going to try to focus on the positive, to keep on keepin' on, in the hopes that it really is mind over matter.

Here's the facts - I worked out like a maniac last week. I ate pretty good. I did not drink over the weekend. But, I didn't track my food over the weekend. So even though I "think" I did good, who knows?! Maybe I royally screwed up and that's the reason I gained this weekend :(

Fact is, I've lost ELEVEN inches. That's nothing to laugh at!

Fact is, I AM GOING TO lose more!

How? You might be wondering... Well, my goal is to tweet my daily caloric intake, expenditures, and differential every day this week. I am going on vacation Friday - Monday, so I might not be able to then. I will try my best to get it done though! (If you aren't following us on Twitter, get to it!!!)

I guess there isn't really much else I have to say that wouldn't be a downer.

I'm going to sit here and give myself a pep talk, and maybe even do some work ;)

Fat Stats: Week 30

Week freakin' 30?! Where the hell does the time go? At a pound a week, if I had been a good girl, I would have met my goal this week. {{crying real tears here}}

I'm discouraged because I screwed up royally this weekend and the scale reflected it.

Mmmmm, so yummy and so BAAAAAAD!

I'm totally pissed at myself. I ran ELEVEN miles on Saturday. Before that I had already ran 17 miles during the week. I've done the 30 Day Shred every day.

And I didn't lose one God forsaken pound.

{{screaming, cussing, carrying on}}

Since I have nothing positive to say, I'll just throw out the numbers and promise that my next post won't be so pissy.

Fat Girl Slim's Week 30 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 30 Numbers:

Monday Fat Stat's: Week 29

So, I'm not in a very good mood. Between having a never ending cold and things being tense at home, I just don't have it in me to be positive and chipper. That said, fat stats must go on regardless of my state of mind.

Queue perkiness here...

Progress is being made people! A quarter inch and tenth of a pound at a time :)

Fat Girl Slim's Week 29 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 29 Numbers:

So what's on for this week? Exercise wise, here's what we're looking at:

We have progressed on to level 2 of the shred, but Sunday will be the first day we move on to level 3. FGS is stoked, myself? Not so much. Not a huge fan of the level 3. It does the job though, so I can't complain (too much).

Most important though is continuing to track all of my calories consumed. Before last night I was doing really, really good. The tracking totally does what it's supposed to. I had been down THREE pounds for the week. Note to self: no beer and pizza the night before a weigh in.

Here's to a good week!

Monday's Fat Stats - Week 28

This week could have been epic. I could have lost crazy poundage.

Then the weekend came.

Who the hell thought it would be a good idea for us to weigh in on Mondays?! Fat Girl Slim?

We did our 8 miles on Saturday morning, starting out at 8:30. Note to self - never starting that late again. It was CRAZY hot out. My camelback, the one that I always have water left in after a run. At mile 5 it was completely empty. Not good.

Other than the SOB, me and FGS haven't ran a long Saturday morning together in 4 weeks. Our bodies definitely need to get back into the swing of things, cause I was NOT feeling it. We actually ended up stopping somewhere around 7.5 miles cause the cramps were just to damn much.

This was also the first 7 days of our 30 Day Shred challenge! Yeah, it's harder than I thought to do it day, after day, after day, after day... But think of all the calories burned :)

After our run though, I rode my gorgeous Triumph up in the woods and went camping with my in-laws (insert groan here). Between the beer, snack food, and doughnut breakfast - I undid at least half of my hard earned work.

Happy news though, we both did lose!!! Here's what happened:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 28 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 28 Numbers:

Tomorrow is a new day, everyone deserves a second chance, a fresh slate, yadda yadda yadda. All that motivational stuff...