The Big Green Hump: Week 5

I really look forward to Wednesdays now, and not just because it's hump day [*wink, wink*]. I've received a lot of positive feedback both on and off the blog about the green smoothie recipes, and that really excites me. I love that other people are hopping on the "drink your veggies" train and not getting off at the next station. There are so many great recipes out there to share; the possibilities are truly endless.

This week's featured green is cabbage. Red or green in color; it doesn't really matter. It's good stuff!! And although you may not believe it, there are actually better ways to eat it than soaked in mayo as a side dish to your fried chicken. In the nutrition world, cabbage gets some rave reviews. It's cheap to buy, freezes well, and contains a shit ton of protective vitamins. Also, you can eat an entire cup for 15 calories. Can I get a "Hell Yeah!" for cabbage??

This is NOT low calorie cabbage, just so we're on the same page...

I could spend all day spreading the cabbage love, but I won't bore you with those details. To sum it up, cabbage has loads of vitamins A, B, C and E, and its therapeutic value has been proven beyond a doubt. From infection to ulcers, cabbage has loads of healing properties.

So let's get on with the recipe! Just one tip, I've found that cabbage seems to have more of a "mellow" flavor after it's frozen so if you aren't big on the taste, try shoving a head in the freezer first. [Head of cabbage, not your head...just to clarify].


"Chocolate Monster" (featuring cabbage)

2 cups cabbage
2 bananas, frozen
1 tbsp agave nectar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tbsp cacao
2 cups water
1 cup ice

Blend it, blend it real good.

Doing Everything, But Not Doing Anything Well.

I asked my husband last night, "Do you ever get the feeling that you do everything...” Before I could even get out the BUT that was part of that sentence, he launched into a mini tirade about how helpful he is. Whatever, dude. I never said he wasn't the most helpful husband ever, because he truly is.  However, when he doesn't let me finish my thoughts? Then he becomes the most annoying husband ever; he truly does. FINALLY, after he stopped babbling about always putting away the dishes and mopping the kitchen floor and how he has feelings too, damn it; I was able to complete the sentence I was trying to spit out in the first place.

"Do you ever feel like you do everything, but not do ANYTHING well??"

That is exactly how I feel lately. I'm a mom. I'm a mom of a special needs child.  I'm a step-mom. I'm a wife. I'm a daughter. I'm a granddaughter. I'm a sister. I'm a friend. I'm a computer programmer. I'm a runner [kind of]. I'm a reader. I'm a Weight Watchers member. I'm a cat owner. Apparently, I'm even a blog writer.

This is what I feel like...figuratively.

I do all these things, and I wear all these different hats. Yet I feel like I never do a good job at ANYTHING. The constant pull to do fifty different things at once is nearly panic-inducing some days. I'm sure a lot of people feel this way, and it can be a big problem when you are trying to get fit and healthy. When you feel like you barely have enough time to be a good mom, wife, employee, etc; how can you possibly make time to take care of yourself? The answer is simple. YOU HAVE TO. [Yes, that is me yelling.]

Whenever I start to feel down about my general incompetence in this life, I realize that working on myself makes me BETTER at the other things I do, and doesn't take away from them. If I don't eat healthy, and if I don't exercise, then what kind of example am I showing my kids? If I don't lose some of this weight, then how is my husband ever going to get sex on the kitchen counter top?

The counter top....it waits...

Taking care of me has become a huge priority in my life, and I challenge you to make it a priority in yours. It simply affects every facet of my being, even if I don't realize it. While flying back from Vegas several years ago, I heard a flight attendant say one of the most useful phrases ever.

“In case the oxygen mask falls from the compartment above your head, put your own oxygen mask on first and then help others around you.”

How often do I ignore this bit of wisdom? Is it really helping me do anything BETTER for others when I don't take care of myself first? No way! So every time I want to skip my run to get more work done, or anytime I feel like eating crappy just to save a little time, I won't. I'll constantly remind myself that in order to do EVERYTHING better, I need to take care of myself first.

Monday's Fat Stats - Week 4

I'm having a hard time believing that I'm doing the stats for week 4! My how the time flies...


All in all, last week was much more of a success than the week before. There were actual changes in our numbers - and in the right direction! It's never enough pounds/inches - and never as fast as I would like it to happen - but I'm trying to focus on being proud for what I have accomplished. With that said, here's the details: 

Fat Girl Slim's Week 4 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 4 Numbers:

Hellz-to-the-ya!!! I'll admit, when I got on the scale and saw ONE measly little pound gone, I was not exactly thrilled. I'm pretty sure I snared W.T.F. under my breath. But, I am so happy that FGS had us do measurements!!! Granted, I didn't loose the SEVEN farkin' inches that she did ** cough ** bitch ** cough **, but 2.5 isn't to shabby either! 
  

Workout 1

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 3 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Walk 90 seconds (or 1/8 mile)

Jog 5 minutes (or 1/2 mile)

Walk 2.5 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Jog 5 minutes (or 1/2 mile)

Walk 90 seconds (or 1/8 mile)

Jog 3 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Workout 2

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 3 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Walk 90 seconds (or 1/8 mile)

Jog 5 minutes (or 1/2 mile)

Walk 2.5 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Jog 5 minutes (or 1/2 mile)

Walk 90 seconds (or 1/8 mile)

Jog 3 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Workout 3

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 3 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Walk 90 seconds (or 1/8 mile)

Jog 5 minutes (or 1/2 mile)

Walk 2.5 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

Jog 5 minutes (or 1/2 mile)

Walk 90 seconds (or 1/8 mile)

Jog 3 minutes (or 1/4 mile)

This weeks run honestly scares the ever living crap out of me. Am I the only one that thinks the jumps in time spent running are a little HUGE? I mean, last week we spent a total of 9 minutes running. This week we will be subjected to SIXTEEN minutes - which includes two FIVE minutes segments. UGH! I know it's good for me and it will get easier, but right now I'm scared out of my mind.


Thought I'd offer a little tip that I use to keep track of where I am and what I should be doing at any given point on a run. Cause you know I can't be expected to run, continue breathing and add up minutes! On the palm of my hand I write out the time intervals and what I should do during each. So this week, I'll have this scrawled on my palm:

Of course, don't forget to do (at least) 3 days of cross-training and eat consciously and healthfully! I'm going to (try) to make it four days of cross-training - and FGS and me are going to run during lunch time on Monday, Wednesday and Friday so that when the weekend rolls around we are free and clear! Plus, even if I don't enjoy it while I'm doing it, the feeling of having done a run is well worth the pain!

                                                    

Who's bad?!

This Weekend I'm Not Going To Suck Ass At My Diet. I Promise.

Here I sit, patiently waiting for the start of the weekend. The freedom in the air is palpable. We're less than two hours away, and it got me thinking about what I can do to not screw up my diet this weekend. I'm desperate to lose some pounds this week. I've fought the good fight. I've exercised, I've maintained 1200 calories a day, and I've even made sure to get in the proper amount of fruits and veggies. I deserve to lose some weight this week. My damn scale better throw me a freaking bone.

However, even though I'm on the downhill side of the mountain for the work week, that's not the case with food. The weekend is by far the worst time for my eating habits. It's sad but true. Weekends involve dinners out with friends, yummy desserts and Mr. FGS making extravagant breakfast food. Also, I've been known to set sail with The Captain on Friday night and not return until Monday morning. [Oh c'mon, everybody needs a little Captain in them!]

Who doesn't love the Captain?

This weekend, however, I need to make some changes. I may only set sail on Saturday night, and hell, I may not drink at all! [*cough*yeah right*cough*] I'm limiting the eating out to one night, and one night only. Tomorrow night, in fact, we have a double date with MT and her hubby. Hi MT!!! I'll have to limit my food consumption however, and that’s a bummer. It saddens me to think I won't get a big, delicious appetizer, but it would be worse than sad to get on that scale Monday and not lose weight again.

This CANNOT happen to me on Monday!

Maybe I'll even work out twice as much this weekend. I could run both Saturday and Sunday to offset some of the calories I'll be partaking in. I could do an extra day of the Shred. Hell, I could even have twice as much sex as usual with the husband. That has to burn some calories, right?? C'mon honey, one more time! I need to work off that cheeseburger... Mr. FGS is going to like this diet for more reasons than one, and that's just fine with me.

The Big Green Hump: Week 4

Happy Hump Day peeps! We're already on week four; it's incredible. Today I have a green smoothie recipe that features collard greens. [Don't worry; you aren't the only ones who thought the way to eat collard greens is with a stick of butter and some salt and pepper]. Who would've thought to put them in a smoothie, right? These greens are an excellent source of nutrition though, as many recent studies have shown.

Before I get to the recipe, I wanted to delve a little further into WHY we are drinking these green smoothies, as opposed to just eating lots of salad. Dark, leafy greens are well known to be nutrition powerhouses; however, they have thick cell walls composed of cellulose. Our bodies don't really digest cellulose very well, so most of the greens we ingest come out the other end before we've accessed the dense nutrients. [Ew!]

Enter the green smoothie. By blending the greens, it's essentially like having someone chew your food really, REALLY well. You may call me lazy, but I like to think of myself as industrious. Breaking down those cell walls allows crazy amounts of nutrition into my body, all ready to be absorbed. I didn't even have to do the work! Having so much readily available nutrition does GREAT things for your body. People rave about side effects such as higher energy, fewer mood swings, fewer cravings, shiny hair and quick growing nails. If you haven't started making green smoothies yet, what are you waiting for??

Here's the week four smoothie, for your drinking pleasure:

"A Tropical Collarda"

1 large banana
1 cup frozen pineapple
1 cup frozen mango
2 cups collard greens
1 tbsp agave nectar
1 cup water

Blend it up and enjoy!

What you do in February will pay off in June. Hopefully.

I hopped on the scale yesterday morning, full of hope. I had no doubt I had lost some weight this week. How could I not? I exercised SIX out of the seven days. Three days spent running, and three days spent Shredding. I had resisted cheesecake, cookies, and French fries on more than one occasion. Also, I'm completely, miserably sore.

Do you know how much weight I lost this week? NONE. Not even an ounce. I was really damn surprised until I took a good look at my food intake this morning. I sat down and did the math. Sure, I've been working out. A lot. However, I've still been consuming more calories than I should; and that needs to change. I realized that this is going to come down to one of those moments. You know, a "how bad do I want this?" moment. And I want it. Bad.

I think these guys want it a little TOO much...

It made me think this is probably a really valid time to make a list. I know that I want it, but I need to write down the reasons WHY I do. Motivation is key. I read a quote today that said, "The mind is everything. What you think, you become." My mind needs to be wrapped all around the reasons I have for losing weight. I'm not only going to write the reasons on the blog, I'm going to write them on a piece of paper. [Ok, maybe I'll type them and print them out. Diehard computer nerd here]. Before I reach for another doughnut, I'll reach for the list. It's time to get my brain on board.

This is my brain...getting with the program.

1) I want to look fuckable. (yes, I'm serious). That is my number one reason for doing this diet. I don't want stuff to jiggle when it shouldn't be jiggling. The husband needs to think, "Damn, I wanna tap that." Sure, he may think that sometimes now anyways, but it probably has more to do with his teenage-esque horny self than it has to do with me. Also, I don't want him to be the only one. *gasp* No, I don't want to have sex with others, but hell, it would sure be nice if they wanted to have sex with me! Call me vain [I warned you!], but I simply want to be more attractive. Sexy. Fit. And well, fuckable.

You probably think this song is about me...

2) I want to wear cute clothes. It's not that I can't find things that are cute now; it's just that they don't look cute on me. There are rolls and fat poking out where there shoudln't be, and that's just not acceptable. Summer is a mere four months away, and I want to wear a bikini. I want to wear shorts and not be embarrased by my flabby legs. It all comes back to vanity for me, doesn't it?

This year, I'd like to stand and button my jeans.  Is that too much to ask?

3) I want to feel better. Much to my astonishment, I've discovered that when you gain 30, 40, or even 50 pounds, you don't feel as good as you used to. Why does it hurt to run so bad? Gee... let's think. Perhaps this is because running while fat is like carrying a preschooler on your back. Nothing feels right when you are so weighed down. Maybe my shins wouldn't hurt so much if I wasn't lugging around all these extra pounds! It's ridiculous that I've let myself be this way for so long. So I'm saying goodbye to that kid on my back, one pound at a time.

See Kate here can simply DROP the 50 pounds she's lugging around.

So what are your reasons for wanting to lose weight? Write them down so they'll motivate you when you want to skip that run or eat that gallon of ice cream.

Monday's Fat Stats - Week 3

Here's the deal, if you want to be healthier and get into shape - exercise is what you need. What we learned this week - even if you exercise your ass off (not literally, unfortunately) - if you aren't paying attention to what you put in your mouth, You Are Screwed. Period.

The agony that is my sore and aching muscles can attest to the fact that I did in fact work out, and out, and out. But the number on the scale will tell you straight up that I eat like a fat cow. And do you know what happens when you eat like a fat cow? Then you are a fat cow.

My bovine twin

The numbers (or lack of) that we put up this week has been a bit of a slap-in-the-face-reality-check. Just look for yourself:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 3 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 3 Numbers:

 Shit. Damn. FML!!!

Granted, we didn't gain anything, but that's just not good enough.

The goal this week is to focus on our intake, be conscious and aware of what we are using to fuel our bodies. And come next week, that damn scale is going down!!!

This weeks "Couch Potato to 5K" looks really daunting - like, I think there is an actual possibility of me dying this week, daunting. But do it I will, and I will continue to chant (silently) to myself the whole time "I LOVE THIS SHIT!".

It feels good, it DOES! I LOVE THIS SHIT!

And next week, I will that much more in shape, that much more ready for the ultimate goal. Do you people realize how L ... O ... N ... G ... a half marathon is? THIRTEEN POINT 1 MILES!!! Even if you maintain a 10 minute mile for the duration, that is still 131 minutes, or two hours and eleven minutes.

My stamina and endurance have to be pushed and worked until I can do it for hours on end (that's what he said). With that in mind, I present week 3:

Workout 1

Brisk five-minute warm up walk,

then do two repetitions of the following:

Jog 90 seconds (or 200 yards)

Walk 90 seconds (or 200 yards)

Jog 3 minutes (or 400 yards)

Walk 3 minutes (or 400 yards)

Workout 2

Brisk five-minute warm up walk,

then do two repetitions of the following:

Jog 90 seconds (or 200 yards)

Walk 90 seconds (or 200 yards)

Jog 3 minutes (or 400 yards)

Walk 3 minutes (or 400 yards)

Workout 3

Brisk five-minute warm up walk,

then do two repetitions of the following:

Jog 90 seconds (or 200 yards)

Walk 90 seconds (or 200 yards)

Jog 3 minutes (or 400 yards)

Walk 3 minutes (or 400 yards)

In addition to the CP25K routine, 3 days of cross-training need to happen. I've been doing the shred (my dependable fall-back), and so has FGS. She did start mixing it up last night with a little windsor pilates, which I think I am going to try this week too.

So, positive thinking and all that crap to you - NUT UP!