From Half Ass to Half Marathon

The Battle For The Purse: An Update

2011-12-06T15:29:00.001-08:00

Seriously.

We are rocking this weight loss shit.

Today is day 8 of our 27 day challenge and we've lost a combined 8.2 pounds!

I've lost 5 even, and my girl FGS is down 3.2.

I can almost feel that purse in my hand...

No, seriously though, this is still any one's game. There's still 18 days - and a LOT can happen in 18 days.

Next week is probably going to be really hard for me. I'm headed to Vegas for nerd training. I'll be there Sunday night until Friday evening.

That means an entire week of eating out. This scares the shit out of me.

I am going to bring my work out gear and hit the treadmill a MINIMUM of 3 times. Class is over by 4 each afternoon, so I figure I'll go straight to the gym afterwards. That will still give me time to freshen up, have dinner, go out for a little, and still be in bed in time to be in class the next morning.

I never thought I would be facing my first ever trip to Vegas with dread. At this point I'd rather just stay home and not have all those evil extra calories...

If I'm gonna be completely honest, it's not even the food that I'm worried about, it all the calories that I'm capable of drinking that scares me.

I guess it's a good thing I'll be flying solo. If I had any of my girls with me, well, that could be a very dangerous thing indeed.

What? I can't be the only person who watched The Hangover and thought "yep, I can totally see that happening". Right?

MT vs FGS

2011-11-28T15:51:00.001-08:00

Me and FGS are laying down the gauntlet. We've both reached that "enough is enough" point and decided to make a little wager.

Starting today up until Christmas eve, we are going to see who can lose the most weight.

Shit be gettin real.

But what's the wager? Although bragging rights do count for a lot, we wanted something tangible. After much debate about what that "something" should be, we finally decided on something we both want.

A purse is on the line people. A super cute one too!

We are texting each other a pic of the scale every morning to keep ourselves honest. I would promise you that we'll post every day to keep you all updated, but we all know that would be a lie. We suck at posting. I will try to at least do every few day check-ins though. Promise.

The Not Happy Post That Goes Nowhere

2011-11-14T16:39:00.001-08:00

I'm discouraged.

Really, horribly, discouraged.

I'm pissed off at myself, and honestly, I'm wallowing in self-pity. But I don't really have anyone to blame but myself.

I have been running (somewhat) regularly. I have been tracking (every so often).

And I'm not seeing results. In fact, I've actually gained a couple of pounds.

And why is that? Well, I know damn well why that is. It's the "somewhat"'s and "every so often"'s.

I'm not being consistent. Actually, that's not true. I am being consistent at one thing. I'm consistently lazy.

How in the hell did I become so undisciplined?

When did it become okay to me to be so half-assed about life?

I don't know the answers, but I know shit has got to change.

I Did What I Could

2011-11-10T16:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight is date night and I'm a little depressed about it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm stoked to have Mr. MT to myself for a couple of hours.

What I'm not happy about though? The fact that I'm overweight, out of shape, and just generally disgusted with my appearance. There will be no cute little dresses for me tonight.

These days I just want to cover up and hope no one can see my muffin top.

I'm not going to wallow though. I took my chubby ass to the gym at lunch today and RAN IT OUT!

Change doesn't happen over night, but every time I opt for the gym instead of the buffet I get that much closer to my end goal.

So while I might not be all that satisfied with my body at the moment, I'm at least proud of myself for doing what I could today.

On Friendship And Flying My Freak Flag

2011-11-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

Muffin Top and I have made it no secret on this blog that we have a certain affinity for a certain movie/book series about a sparkly vampire. We've spent the last 3 years continuously geeking out over movie trailers and fan fiction and all things Twilight related. It's a sickness. We just can't help it.

Last February, when MT decided to move her punk ass to Bend, one of the first things we both thought of was the impending Breaking Dawn premiere. (In case you live under a rock, the next Twilight movie hits theaters next Thursday evening). We ALWAYS go to the midnight showing of these movies. How could we possibly be apart for that?!? We've been lamenting the past few weeks about how lame it is that we won't be together to see it. It's been a little on the devastating side, really.

Well guess what? I'm about to let Muffin Top (and all you blog readers) in on a little secret. A few days ago I realized that it just was NOT acceptable to see it without Muffin Top. So I'm not going to. I've taken next Thursday afternoon and Friday off of work. Melissa (another die hard twi fan and bestie) and I are going to drive our happy asses all the way to Bend so we can see the movie with Muffin Top. Well, all four movies technically. All will be as it should be in the world.

So surprise! As long as Mr. Muffin Top doesn't care that we crash on his couch Thursday night, we are all set. Tickets bought and everything. Life is too short to not make these things happen.

Bucking the *uck Up

2011-11-08T16:34:00.000-08:00

So, I started a new (much, much better) job last week and am hopeful this will mean considerably more posting. Of course any posting will be "more" than the NO posting we've been doing!

FGS and me are still (more or less) on track with marathon training. Just today during lunch I did week 7, day 1 of the Couch-To-5K. Go me! Not gonna lie, it was hard as hell. When I think about how much more in shape I used to be I get really down. I mean, I ran a half fucking marathon! Now I can't even make it through 25 minutes without walking.

But I will not let that deter me!!!

My C25K app had a great inspirational quote today:

"Vision without action is a daydream."

I spend way to much time daydreaming about the things that I want and not nearly enough time working to make my dreams a reality. It's easy to say that I need to do more, but why is it so damn hard to put into practice?

Part of my problem is that a part of me is still hoping and waiting to find that “quick” fix. The magic pill. The overnight success.

This shit isn’t easy though, and although it might get a bit easier, it’s always going to be work. It just is.

So here’s to bucking up!

What I Have To Give

2011-10-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

Life is busy. Alarmingly so. I want to give you a peek into my evening last night, just so you fully get the picture.

I get off work at 5:30, not 5, because God must hate me. Or maybe it's just my boss? Anywho, I drive 45 minutes to pick up my spawn from my parent's house way out in BFE. I down a quick chicken sandwich while I'm there because hey, free food! By 6:45 everyone is loaded into the car and we are off to Kung Fu class for the oldest.
After I kick him to the curb (literally), I haul ass/balls (pick your body part!) to the grocery store because unfortunately, everyone needs to eat. I have exactly one hour to throw miscellaneous foods into my cart, check out and be back to the big kid's Dojo to pick him up. For some reason they get all pissy when you are 15 minutes late. WTF, right?

I pick up my older son just in time, and then it's a race home to do baths, books, teeth brushed, mommy I need water, oh please one more book, and bedtime.

Sounds fun, right? Don't get me wrong, I love the chaos of having a family. We are loud and fun and my days are filled with so much happy. They just don't leave time for much of the other stuff I enjoy. One of those things is this blog. I've got to be honest, I didn't think we were going to resurrect this thing. I figured it was fun while it lasted, but a year post half-marathon and I'm fat again (ok, not AS fat) and I haven't really had a tangible goal. Enter Forks, Washington.

I'm not going to re-hash MT's post here, but you all know we had a fabulous time. More than that though, we were amazed to find out that actual, real live people read this blog! It really inspired me to keep writing.

So here's what I can give you. I can't promise much, but I can promise you the marathon. As in, I promise to share the blood, sweat, tears and expletives right here on this blog. I promise to give you the in depth look at how two average women could do this marathon thing. Because believe me, I'm as average as it gets. Also, I selfishly want to have a written record of the journey to look back on at a later date.

And after the marathon? Who knows. But I'm here today to tell you that until we cross that finish line, we'll be sharing all the gory details. Stay tuned.

We're Really Doing It!!!

2011-10-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

Not gonna lie, FGS and I have not been doing very well. We've fallen off the wagon so to speak. Well, FGS has, I did a big fat belly flop of the damn thing.

I now officially weight more than I EVER have (pregnancies not included). I'm way fucking out of control.

So we decided that we need a purpose. A goal. Something to work towards.

When we had the half on the horizon, we Made. Shit. Happen. I looked and felt better than I had in sooo long.

I'm ready to get back to that!

But, talk is cheap. What are we actually going to do about it?!

We're running a MARATHON baby!!!

On April 29th, 2012 me and FGS will be doing it, and doing it, and doing it well!

But we all know the hard part isn't the marathon. It's the hours upon hours of training that it takes to get to the marathon. So what are we gonna do? My homegirl came up with a full TWENTY NINE week training plan.

Here it is in all it's glory:

Just click on it if you want to actually see what it says...

Not that you guys know (cause we suck ass posting), but we've started the couch to 5k again. We're picking back up on week 5 next week. I've been pretty damn sick this week, and last weeks was the whole FORKS fun-fest - so we've been slacking a bit.

But starting next week - it's on like mother fucking donkey kong!!!

It's marathon training time!

Time Well F*cking Spent

2011-10-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

I know we haven't been posting, and I'm really sorry for that.

But I'm here now and I'm going to tell you about the epicness that was last weekend. Later in the week I'll tell you about our *MARATHON* plans!!!

So, what did we do? Fat Girl Slim and I went on a road trip! To where you ask?

A little town in the very North East corner of Washington state known as "Forks". Why, you might ask.

Cause we're dorks like that and we aren't ashamed damn it!!!

Twitarded. If you don't read it, you damn well should!

The BEST bitches EVER, over at Twitarded put together a get-together of epic proportions.

We came (not like that you fucking perv), we saw, we drank, we made great friends!

The sleepy little town of Forks, I don't think they even knew what hit em.

Did I mention we drank???

One of our absolute favs, Sailor & Satan (aka Diet Dr. Pepper)

There may have been a Jaeger bomb involved...

Which may have led to...

And to...

Cause we're both a couple of hos and we know it...

But that's not all we did! We saw some of the most beautiful places you can imagine!

Lake Crescent

First Beach

The Hoh (*snickers*) Rain Forest

All in all it was possible the best time I've ever had in my life. Thanks to my best bitch FGS. Damn I love that girl!!!

Best Bitches

Ripped In 30: Day 6

2011-06-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

Can tomorrow be Monday already? Lame.

Saturday went pretty good, I didn't get my run in, but I did do Ripped (of course). It was my 5th time doing it in the last 6 days. Not to shabby if you ask me.

I think it's even getting a little bit easier. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy by any means. But it's not as horrific as it was the first couple of days.

I'm a little scared though, tonight is my last day of week 1. Tomorrow it's on to week 2. EEEK!!!

Here's the run day from yesterday:

Weight: 180.6 (Down 0.4 from yesterday, 2.4 total)
Intake: 34 points
Activity: 6 points

I know these posts haven't been super entertaining, but I'm so damn worn out this is about all I got to give.

Peace out.

Ripped In 30: Days 4 and 5

2011-06-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well hello there again!

What do you know, I'm starting to make this blogging shit a habit again.

So, I've been staying with it! And considering the level of pain of been in - this is sure to make a difference in my body and my overall fitness level!

I've got an admission to make though. I was planning on having Sunday be my "rest" day. Problem is, I was only home for 1 hour yesterday. During which I had to make, serve, and clean up from, dinner. Needless to say, I did not get in my day 5 session.

Day 4 was pretty much win though! Here's my numbers:

Weight: 180.0 (Down again! 3.0 total too!)
Intake: 38 points (A bit high, I'll admit)
Activity: 7 points

Day 5, not so spectacular though. Not horrible considering I had beer and pizza for dinner the night before though!

Weight: 181.0 (Up 1 lb)
Intake: 36
Activity: 9 points (Pretty damn good considering I didn't do Ripped!)

Overall, I think I'm doing pretty darn good! From Monday to Friday I lost 2 pounds total :)

I definitely need to be more conscious of staying closer to my daily points target of 30 though!!!

That's all for now, but I'll see you again tomorrow when I post day 6.

And btw, keep your fingers crossed for me - not only am I going to do ripped today, I'm going to attempt (and I really emphasize attempt) an 8 miler.

Go me!

Well Hello, Lover.

2011-06-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

That's what I said to my dinner tonight when I put it on a plate. Yum to the 10th power. Seriously. You must, must, MUST try this recipe. I found it over on Gina's Skinny Weight Watchers blog. The woman is a genius.

Introducing Bananas Fosters Topped Overnight French Toast.

Get in my BELLY!!!

Only 8 points plus a serving, and the serving was really generous.

Bonus? The hubby and the kids loved it as well. It's definitely going in the dinner rotation.

Ripped In 30: Day 3

2011-06-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

I survived!

Day 3 hurt like a bitch, but I did it!!! I can not express in words the way I am hurting. My hamstring feel like HELL.

This is a good thing though, right? Change is happening baby!

Don't get me wrong. This shit is HARD. I absolutely do not feel like working out. My legs are so tired and sore I could barely run a mile and half yesterday without having to stop from sheer exhaustion.

But I'm doing it.

That's the thing. It's going to suck ass.

So deal with it.

Here's my deets for day 3:

Weight: 181 (down again!)
Intake: 39 points (a little over, but whatev's, I worked out)
Activity Points: 10
Workout: Running, walking, and Ripped of course!

I Haz A Yummy

2011-06-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

So since we are back to monitoring calorie intake again, I've needed to get creative with the recipes. Dinner is my biggest challenge, so I thought I'd share a totally YUM thing I found. Now as a disclaimer, I'm not fond of squash AT ALL, but this doesn't even taste like a veggie.

Behold the spaghetti squash.

Totally not as scary as it appears...

You take one of these bad boys and cut it in half. Put it face down on a cookie sheet with a little bit of water in the bottom of a pan. Bake it at 400 degrees for an hour. Once it is finished, the "spaghetti" will come right out if you scrape it with a fork.

Not even a little gross!!!

Put the squash on a plate and top with your favorite marinara recipe. Voila! Super low calorie meal that is excellent for you. Try it asap. You can thank me later. Or better yet, thank sister FGS. She's the one who shared this recipe with me. Thanks sis!!!

Ripped In 30: Day 2

2011-06-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

Holy-Mother-Of-GAWD am I sore!!!

But I'm sticking with it. And I survived day 2!

Not only that - I was down 1.4 pounds!!! Hell yeah ;)

Here's the numbers:

Weight: 181.6
Intake: 34 points
Activity Points earned: 6
Exercise: Ripped In 30 Week 1

And here's my starting measurements:
Bicep: 12"
Chest: 42.5"
Waist: 32.5"
Hips: 72"
Thigh: 26"
Calf: 15"
I would write more, but Day 3 isn't going to do itself!

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

*Snickers*

Ripped In 30: Day 1

2011-06-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

I've got a confession. I've been reverting back to my old "half ass" ways. My exercise has been sporadic at best, my eating (and drinking) have been atrocious, and my weight has been sky rocketing.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

I don't know what this has to do with anything at all,

but it came up when I googled "enough already"

I'm better than that! I can do better than that!

I haven't really known what to do though. I've been training for my July half, but between my boy being in the hospital, and a nasty case of shin splints, I'm way, way, waaaay behind on that.

So, what to do?

When all else fails, you know Jillian Michael's is down to kick your ass!

She's a bitch like that - and I FLOVE it!!!

My plan? Ripped In 30 bitches!!!

I'm going to do Ripped In 30 everyday (except Sunday, everybody needs a rest day) for the next 30 days. And I'm going to post about it each and every one of those days. I'll let you know where my weights at, my measurements, how I'm feeling (fucking sore today!) and how my eating is going.

I did day one last night, and it was hard. I've really let myself go. It makes me sick to tell you the truth. But I did it, and after having ran at lunch too!

So here's my daily recap for yesterday:

Weight: 183 *cringe* (don't judge, please?)
Intake: 31 points
Activity Points earned: 13
Exercise: 2 miles + walking & Ripped In 30 Week 1

I haven't done my measurements, but I will tonight!

See you then ;)

What I've spent to much time doing!!!

Happy Fathers Day

2011-06-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

For my husband.

Six years ago today I met you. It didn't take me long at all to become completely smitten with you, and that was due in large part to the way you talked about your little boy. We went for a walk, and I was completely amazed that you were raising a child all on your own. You were kind, patient and the most loving dad I had ever witnessed. It only took me a few days to realize I wanted you to be the father of my babies. That was probably the best decision I've ever made.

I've fallen in love with you time and time again while watching you with our children. It doesn't matter if it's reading bedtime stories, playing hot wheels, or even trying to patiently deal with a tantrum. You are an amazing daddy, and I'm so very, very blessed to share this journey of parenthood with you.

You work so hard to take care of us, and even when you come home exhausted, you still make time to play with our babies. What lucky kids we have.

I couldn't of found a better father for our children if I would've created you. Thank you for being you, from the bottom of my heart.

I Have Changed

2011-06-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

I'm definitely not the same old Muff. For awhile there I was avoiding anything resembling exercise. Now though, I need it. Like really need it. For my stress levels and my overall sanity (which is questionable at best).

I did my 6 mile run on Sunday, and it was a big jump in mileage. Before that I'd only been doing 4 miles on my "long" runs. Apparently it was too much, cause my shins are TORN UP! And that's just not gonna cut it. I've got serious training to do.

Problem is, I know better than to try and run with shin splints (which I'm sure I have). And you know what? I want to run. I've resented every single lunch this week because I knew I couldn't go to the gym.

I'm proud of who I'm becoming. Sometimes I wish it wasn't such a process though. I want to just be there already, you know?!

Dammit it if it doesn't feel like it!

Not Exactly Starting Over

2011-06-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

It's confession time, bloggy peeps. Pull up a chair and get comfy cause this is going to take a while. I've been less than stellar with my work outs lately. And when I have worked out, I've done anything and everything BUT running. I'm not quite sure why; I guess it just seems daunting now that I've been out of it for a while. It takes a lot of effort, and I've been so lame at putting in effort lately. I actually remember why running seemed so scary in the first place. It's not a happy place to be.

No more of that though! I felt better than I ever have when I was running on a consistent basis, and I need to get back to that place. Fortunately, this time I'm not exactly back to square one. First, I have at least SOME physical endurance whereas before I had none. I can do most tasks these days without getting winded. It also helps that I'm 20 pounds lighter than when I started.

The real leg up though, [and this is the big one]is that I know that I CAN do it now. I've conquered once before, surely I can do it again!!!

I've decided to start out pretty easy, as I'd really like to avoid injury and not push too hard at first. I went back to my trusty Couch to 5k schedule, and decided I could start on week 4 without killing myself. So I'm starting the schedule today! Woot!

For your viewing pleasure...

True facts I realized today: This journey we've been on has changed me. Where I once hated the thought of exercise and eating right, I now know how much better I feel when I do these things. While I once absolutely dreaded the thought of running, I now can't wait for that feeling of accomplishment that comes from it. While I once was angry about going to bed early, I now look forward to the sleep as a time of healing and repair. While I once had no idea how to get myself out of a rut, I now know the steps to take me there.

I guess all of this knowledge means I'm not really starting over at all, am I?

Time to get back to business in these parts!!! Happy Tuesday, friends! Go get some exercise. I'm headed to the gym as soon as I hit publish on this post.

Nut Up. Or Shut the F*ck Up.

2011-06-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

We some girls with baggage up in here. Hopefully you had a chance to read Fat Girl Slim's post about her anxiety the other day. Although anxiety isn't one of them, I've got all kinds of issues.

The major one that has been overshadowing EVERYTHING in my life the last few weeks/months has been my depression. If you didn't already know it, I have crazy clinical depression. Like, no laughing matter, type of depression.

I take a cocktail of 3 different anti-depressants every day just to maintain. (For inquiring minds, it's Effexor, Abilify and Welbutrin) Since my family and I moved, we've had to go without health insurance for a while. There's those few months in between your old job's insurance and your new jobs kicking in. So, I cut all my pills in half and have been "surviving" on a half dose. Well, that shit didn't work. I've been crazy the last 2 months. All I can say is that my husband is a fucking saint. I don't have any idea how he puts up with me. He's amazing.

So, long story short, last week I had to go without.

Not. One. Damn. Pill.

I pretty much NEVER talk about my depression because people judge and it hurts. But I'm gonna open up to you guys cause it helps and you're always so supportive.

It was bad. Really, crazy, overwhelmingly, horribly fucking bad.

Don't get me wrong, I've never been suicidal. I consider that the most self-centered thing a person could ever do. But I would have welcomed a fatal accident with open arms.

I've had my pills for the last 3 days and I'm finally starting to pull out of it.

Thank God.

I don't know how much more me, or my family, could have taken.

Here's what I do know though.

I've got a half marathon in 5 weeks.

And I knew that I had to either run my 6 miles this weekend, or just admit that I was not going to be ready on July 9th.

But when it comes time to nut up or shut up?

I NUTTED like a mother fucker.

You KNOW this!!!

Anxiety Blows

2011-06-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've ever made it a secret on this blog that I deal with some major anxiety issues. I mentioned it here, and even here. If I kept looking, I'm sure I could find more examples scattered through the blog. I've dealt with worry, panic, etc. since I was a small child, but there have definitely been phases of my life when it's been a more prominent problem for me than other times.

Unfortunately, one of those times is right now. I've been having so much generalized anxiety lately that at times it feels like it's ruining my life. It sounds dramatic I'm sure, but anyone who's ever had those pervasive, worrying thoughts in their head will understand. It's draining, and depressing, and it makes me feel so hopeless at times.

Look! It's a picture of me!!!

I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten until a couple of weeks ago. Anyone recall that nutter who thought the world was going to end on May 21? I'm not exactly sure what it was about him that triggered my anxiety, but I spent the better part of the week fretting over impending rapture. I'm not even religious, people!!! The worry over something that silly absolutely ruined an entire week of my life. Ri-freaking-diculous!!! It occurred to me then that, yeah, maybe it was time to seek out a little help.

This was me.... kind of...

Fast forward to now, and I'm doing a little bit better. I'm watching caffeine intake, getting enough sleep and I'm desperately trying to schedule in my exercise. I also have a doctor appointment in a week or so to see about some therapy. [and maybe some meds??] Things are looking up. I just need to remember the big, important thing that applies to all of us. I HAVE to make time for me. I deserve to feel well again.

Yep. Yep. I need therapy worse than that girl.

We are on to a new month, and I'm making my health my number one priority yet again. Starting Monday I'm back to running [yay!], eating healthy, sleeping 8 hours a night, blogging more frequently and spending time relaxing. It's hard to pull yourself out of a hole, but that's exactly what I'm about to do.

Stay tuned...

Holy F@*#ing Sh!t B@lls!!!

2011-05-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

Oh SHIT!

Time has gotten away from me (obviously, considering the serious lack of posting going on around here!). Between work, the hospital, and life and general - I have gotten WAY off track with training for my upcoming half marathon.

In just under SIX WEEKS I will be dragging my not-in-very-good-shape ass 13.1 miles. Sans Fat Girl Slim no less :(

Woe is me!

Insert my mad spreadsheet making skills here and I've got a plan! It may (or may not) be doable, but I'm going to give it my all. Basically, I went online, looked at all the (free) half marathon training plans I could find and came up with my own quick and dirty 6 week plan.

Without further ado, here it is:

Just click on the image to open a larger version

I SWEAR to you I will keep you up to date with my progress.

Leave me some love to let me know you're out there. Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

Life Will Never Be The Same

2011-05-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

Very few things in life can truly be termed "life altering". That change your life so that everything becomes defined as before and after it occurred. You know, the big things - getting married, having children.

For me, Monday was life altering. My 8 year old son had, what I thought, was a bladder infection. He was peeing all the time and he was even having nighttime accidents. And that's just not something that he ever does. Even as a toddler he never wet the bed, so I knew something was off.

So, imagine my shock when the doctor looked at me and said,

"He has diabetes."

I can't even begin to describe the thoughts and emotions that went through me at that moment. That continue to go through me.

We had to bring him to the hospital where he had to stay for 3 nights and 4 days. They had to get his blood sugar under control. They had to teach us how to take care of him.

I'm not going to lie to you, there has been nothing easy about this experience. The first time I had to give my baby a shot I could feel my heart shatter. I cannot explain what it's like to have to poke and stab and inject your child.

I've never been more proud of my son though. He has been absolutely amazing. He's only 8 years old and he is doing all his own blood sugar testing and even does about half of his insulin injections.

I (think?) I might be starting to come to terms with the reality my family is faced with. But honestly, I just don't know. I'll think I'm fine and then it will hit me out of no where. I'll be cruising along and someone will ask me how I am and I'll nearly break down in tears. I'll be sound asleep and the alarm will go off at 2 am and I'll remember, I have to go wake up my child in the middle of the night and make him bleed.

So, if I'm not myself for awhile, I'm sorry. But really, I'll never be that same person I was before Monday.

Thoughts On Health

2011-05-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

So many thoughts swirling in my head tonight, and I can't seem to get them out when I try to type them. At the moment, a friend's child is getting his second dose of chemotherapy for stage 4 cancer. Also, as I type this, our very own Muffin Top is at the hospital with her son, dealing with a potentially life-threatening situation. It seems like everywhere I turn lately, someone is sick or suffering.

I've noticed a trend in my posting lately. It's all very capre diem. I want to seize the moment; live for today. More than ever it seems like our time here is so fleeting, and I want to capture things as they are RIGHT NOW and keep them that way forever. Nothing is guaranteed, and it feels like everywhere I turn lately, someone is having the rug of their happy life pulled out from underneath them. It's heartbreaking. It's scary. It's led me to draw some conclusions of my own. All the things I've been thinking and wanting to write about today basically lead me to one sentence.

If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.

I could really end this post there because that pretty well sums it up. Careers, money, possessions, relationships, I could go on and on. None of it matters if you don't have your health. So every time I reach for a cheeseburger, or every time I skip a work out, I'm basically choosing a temporary fix over the thing that matters more than anything else. I'm disgusted with the years I've spent neglecting what's of the utmost importance.

The desire to take care of myself has trumped many a craving as of late. I'm constantly at war with my decisions. To eat meat or not to eat meat? Did I get enough fruits and veggies in? How can I make my kids healthier? It all seems like an uphill battle. What used to be a constant need for "skinny" has been forcefully replaced by something far more important. I need to be strong and healthy for my family. For me.

I made a decision this morning to give up meat for the next month. I'm not sure I can make it a permanent change, but I eat too much of it, and it's time to shake things up. Also, I'm going to hit up my green smoothies on a daily basis. I already had one tonight!

My priority is my health. Goal #1 must be getting (and staying) as healthy as I possibly can. I found several vegetarian recipes I'll be trying in the coming days and weeks, so hopefully I'll have some winners for you guys!!!

On a different, yet related note, I know not everyone is spiritual or religious, but if you are, could you pray for Muffin Top and her son tonight? I'm sure she'll be back soon to share her story, but for now, can everyone keep her in your thoughts and prayers?

A Check In

2011-05-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

Life is pretty crazy these days. It used to be that I could bust out a blog post at work no problem. Not so much any more. I work HARD for the money these days!

It's not so much that I don't like my job. I just don't like the stress of it, or the sheer volume that I'm expected to put out. *snickers - I said 'put out'*

Add to that the fact that I don't have any health insurance until next month, the stress levels are high. Besides the obvious, not having insurance is a very bad thing for me for other reasons. I exist on a cocktail of 3 anti-depressants. To the tune of about $2000 a month. Guess what I can't afford without insurance? Bingo. I (kind of) planned ahead though. I've cut all my pills in half and for last month and this month I've been on a half dose.

I'm not gonna lie, it hasn't been easy. I don't know how many of you know any one with true biologically based clinical depression - but without my medications, I'm just not me. I have a hard time to just get the basics of life handled. Adding exercising and healthy eating into that, and I am so overwhelmed I'm on the verge of tears daily.

I've got to admit, I have not done well the last few weeks. Not by a long shot. I finally went to weight watchers for the first time in 3 weeks this morning and I was up 3 fucking pounds. It pissed me off. I'm mad at myself. I am better than that. I can do better than that.

And I'm going to. Because life is to short and this is just a season I have to get through.

Only 24 more days and those happy pills are MINE!

Lately I've Had This Feeling...

2011-05-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

I feel that 20, 30, or even 40 years from now...

I'll look back at this time in my life...

I'll look back on all the happy moments amidst the chaos...

I'll look back on crazy schedules, early mornings and the feeling of pure insanity...

I'll look back on all my accomplishments with getting healthy...

I'll look back on how amazing it was to raise a bunch of kids...

I may even look back with fondness on my career...

Even running maybe???

Even though life really seems hectic, and I sometimes want to give up...

Even though our time lately seems full of unknowns...

I'm pretty sure I'm living the very best years of my life.

Right now.

What I've Been Missing...

2011-05-02T21:12:00.000-07:00

I've been missing my Fat Girl Slim. I didn't actually realize how much though, until she came to visit this weekend. It was fucking amazing to see her again! It's hard to go from spending 40+ hours a week with someone to never seeing them at all.

The thing about friendship though? It can handle long-distances.

I know that no matter what, FGS has got my back. And I hope she knows I've always got hers. Always.

Homies. For realz.

Recovery

2011-04-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

Blogging isn't the only thing I've been failing to do lately, friends. Are you ready for my confession??? I haven't exercised in THREE weeks. I know, the horror. Unfortunately, I've been sicker these last three weeks than I remember being in the last 5 years or so. What started as mild cold symptoms quickly became fever, chills and horrible body aches. Pretty soon I was dizzy, nauseous and really weak. After the majority of the symptoms passed (in a few days), I was left with shortness of breath and an awful cough for the remainder of the last three weeks. It's been bad, folks.

Bad, bad kitteh....

Today I'm finally at a point where the cough is [mostly] gone, and simple tasks like loading the groceries in the car don't leave me gasping for air. It has been a surprisingly long road to get this far.

Starting Monday morning I'm going to dip my toe back in the pool of exercise. I've been researching illness recovery, and apparently it is best to start increasing the frequency of my work outs, and then, once I'm back up to a good frequency, I can increase the duration. Finally, after I'm back to a good pattern with frequency and duration, I'll increase the intensity of the work outs.

Sounds easy enough, right? It is probably much easier in theory than in practice, but I've got to start somewhere. Summer is right around the corner, like it or not. Can I just say how much I'd love to be able to wear cute sun dresses and a bathing suit with no shame?? Right now, there would be shame. Lots of it. It's time to get back to the blood, sweat and tears. After this weekend, of course.

Did I mention that tomorrow we are heading to Muffin Top's house for the weekend!?!?! I kinda can't believe it! It's been over 2 months since I've seen that bitch, and I miss her lots! So here's to a weekend of fun and friends! Come Monday though, it's on. Back to working out. Back to eating to fuel my body. I will recover, and I will be stronger when I do!!!

We Are, After All, A Blog About Running (Among Other Things)

2011-04-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

I've been running again. As I should be! I'm only up to 3 miles right now, but I'm building. I just added intervals back in last week, and I've been increasing my speed a bit at a time.

So what am I running for? I did it. I bit the bullet. I nutted up. *Cue drum roll here* I registered for a FULL MARATHON!!!

It's on October 1st, and is right here where I live - the first annual Bend marathon!!! I'm excited, and freaked out, and nervous, and doubtful, and slightly nauseous when I think about it.

To keep myself on track, I also registered for a half on July 9th - the Smith Rock Sunrise Summer Classic. I haven't come up with a training schedule yet, but that's on my agenda for this evening.

So, what do you think? Have I completely lost it, or what?!

Will It Ever Be Enough?

2011-04-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

I've got a confession to make. I have completely unhealthy and unrealistic desires.

Who do I blame? I don't know? The media? My parents? My own lack of self esteem?

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be this thin:

Sure, a little on the too skinny side. But I don't care - that's what I feel like I should look like.

And I'm scared too. Scared that if I ever do reach my weight loss goals that it will never be enough. That all I'm ever going to see when I look in the mirror is fat. Realistically I know that I'm not that overweight, but all I see when I look in the mirror is fat, fat, fat.

I know that I've got issues to work through (obviously), but sometimes I just get so tired of having to work on stuff. You know? Why can't it ever be easy for me? Why can't I be one of those bitches that eats pizza every day and weighs a hundred pounds?

What about you? How will you know when you're at your perfect?

There Is Good.

2011-04-13T22:24:00.000-07:00

Hi friends. Fat Girl Slim here. Did you miss us while we were gone???
I sat down tonight, and frankly I felt like ranting to you all. Not necessarily about diet and exercise, but about how bad life can sometimes be. About how unfair and cruel things are. Lately I've been struggling at life. Not enough time, too much work, friends dealing with horrible circumstances that no parent ever should, lots of fear and generalized anxiety. I have so much fear lately. Way too much stress over things out of my control.

You know what though? I'm not going to rant about anything. I need to take a moment tonight to realize that there is still good. I cannot change the hurt and the pain, but I can take on a new attitude.

So without further ado...

You know what's good? Him and I are good. He may drive me crazy at times, but overall I'm extremely blessed to be in this marriage.

These three are way better than good. They truly are my motivaion in all things. I try desperately to never take them for granted.

Sisters are good. Whenever I start to freak out in life, all I need to do is call my sister. Both of them understand me in a way that no one else does.

Tiffany's is good. And the fact that I got to shop there this weekend is even better.

The warm weather is good. Spring has finally arrived, and I'm loving every second we get to spend outdoors.

New teeth are good. Finally, 10 years after my accident and 2 years after starting the process, I have beautiful new teeth. It feels amazing to smile.

Cupcakes are good. 'Nuff said.

Big cities at night on a getaway with your husband. All good.

My son has recently shown a real interest in baseball. I'm thrilled to be buying him his first glove this weekend. I'm even more thrilled that I'm not so out of shape anymore. I wan to be able to keep up with this guy!!!

Take time to seek out the good today, friends. It's there when we look hard enough.

I'll end with this quote about attitude. I promise you all; I'm really trying to change mine.

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Engelbreit

It's Going to Suck

2011-04-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

You know why the entire world isn't skinny and in shape?

Because it's not fun. It hurts. It's a shit ton of work. It's not easy.

If exercise and eating healthy were fun or if it was super easy to get in shape or lose weight the entire world would be sexy!

The plain, simple, and hard truth? It's gonna be a lot of work, and you're not going to enjoy it.

Words to live by. For realz.

I've been coming to this realization over the past few days. Like most Americans I have an unconscious feeling of entitlement. I deserve to have the body I want. Meaning - I should just have it, not have to work for it. What kind of bullshit is that?

But while on the treadmill the other day, I started to accept that this isn't an easy thing to accomplish. It isn't going to be easy - I'm going to have to work for it. And damn hard too.

Really, if you think about it, what is there in life worth having that you don't have to work for? Nothing. A good marriage? Hard work. Rewarding? Yes. But hard work none-the-less. A great job with great pay? Hard work. Happy, well adjusted children. Super, extra hard work.

Like Jillian says, you have to "get comfortable with being uncomfortable". True words people.

When my body starts to tire, when I'm not having any fun on the treadmill, when I can barely do the last rep - that's when I know I'm on the right track.

And I'm willing to be in the that place, because I know the pay-off will be worth it.

Hell yeah they do

WTF?!

2011-04-12T07:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry for being M.I.A. peeps - we are going to start posting more! *Swears*

I have a post in mind for today, so by tonight it will be up!

We Are Lame...

2011-04-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

I have to apologize for this recent bloggie hiatus. We are totally lame. Lots of work stress - any motivation + feeling kinda sucky = no blogging.

Yeah, yeah... I know.

It's time to get back to it though. Recently we've started running again. Also, I can't speak for MT, but I've finally gotten back in a pattern of decent eating.

Tomorrow the hubby and I leave for 4 days away without kids! It's been WAY too long since we've done this!! So I'll be back Monday with much more to say. Again, sorry we've been away so long!!!

Day One Of Thirty

2011-03-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

Total calories consumed: 1616

Total calories burned: 2620

Total work outs: 2 (20/20/20 and Jillian's new torture)

Total steps taken: 12702

Total time spent doing physical activity: 1 hour, 52 minutes

Day one was total win. Here's to the next twenty nine.

We're Still Here!

2011-03-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

I know, I know - we've been MIA. Have you missed us?
I've been dealing with so many changes and other misc life stuff - I really haven't had anything to say. Or at least, I haven’t had the time to say it.

As you all might remember, I started Weight Watchers a few weeks back. It's been going really good! I'm down 6 pounds total. My next weigh in will be either Wednesday (my birthday!) or Thursday. I'm thinking Wednesday during lunch so that going out to dinner that night won't affect my weigh in!

This past weekend my Dad and the crime-against-nature otherwise known as my step-monster came to visit. Overall it wasn’t a horrible visit. She managed to be semi-tolerable and only made my cry once. But, let me tell you, there was a lot of dark-beer drinking! I’ve used up almost all my “extra” weekly points. I’m still on plan though – but beer really stays with me L I’m up 2 pounds this week (on my scale). I know it’s the beer - I’ve just got to wait for the bloat to go away (patience is definitely not among my many virtues).
In exciting other news, I got the brand-spanking-new Jillian Michaels’’ dvd!!! It’s called “Ripped In 30” and I’m banking on it living up to its title! It’s a lot like the most holy and adored “30 Day Shred” (which you know we love around these parts!). I did it on Saturday and let me tell you, I’m still sore! I was supposed to get up and do it this morning, but didn’t get up in time. So, tonight it is! FGS should be getting her copy tomorrow and we will be doing it for a straight 30 days (with 1 rest day a week, natch).

This is my second week at my new job. I’m still doing training, but should be doing actual “work” tomorrow. Just another thing to stress about! The goal is to NOT eat my way through the stress!

Another stressor – today is my baby boy’s 6th birthday! And you know what that means? Birthday cake and ice cream! Ah!!! It will be okay though – I can workout and get extra points and just have a small piece.

See you tomorrow for another post - SWEARS!

Long Time No Post

2011-02-21T18:59:00.000-08:00

Hello out there in bloggy land! Sorry for our lack of posting - it's just been a really weird time in both of our lives. Not to worry though, we're still here! We've been trying to figure out this whole Weight Watchers thing.

As far as I'm concerned, so far so good!!! I'm really liking the plan, it's very livable. It really steers you in the direction of healthier foods, while still allowing you to have those not-so-good-for-you yummies. I'm not gonna lie to you though - you really do have to think about your food choices. It's all about making the right decisions.

Of course, what it all really comes down to is what the scale says - which I'll be posting about on Wednesday as soon as I get back from my second weigh in.

You might remember a week or two ago I posted a workout schedule. Let's just say that I haven't been super faithful. No more of that though!!! I've teamed up with some lovely Twitter ladies, and am working out at 5 am. Yes. You heard that right. FIVE IN THE MORNING.

This morning I got up and did Bob Harper's 67 minute "Pure Burn: Super Strength". Oh. My. Hell. It was a hard workout. I definitely got my money's worth with this one! I can guarantee that I am going to be hurting tomorrow and the next day.

And tomorrow morning? I'm thinking that I'll do another Bob Harper one - "Body Rev: Cardio Conditioning". An hour of intense cardio at 5 in the morning? Ha! Bring it on!!! (Actually I say this while cowering the corner, fearing for my life)

If I live through it, I'll do a review of both the DVDs for you :)

Until then - here's to kicking some ass!

We Did It!

2011-02-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

So, what exactly did we do? We both bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers. We've been doing this weight loss thing on our own for over a year now. Simple fact of the matter is, we should be at our goals by now. If you've followed this blog for any length of time, you know that exercising isn't where we are falling short. Like Jillian says "you can't out-train your diet". Words To. Live. By. people. For realz.

Can't you just hear her SCREAMING at you?!

Why Weight Watchers? Cause that shit WORKS! It's been proven again and again. You ever seen my girl Suzi Storm??? Case closed.

We are both doing the program, but since it's really flexible, we are doing it a bit differently. FGS opted to go completely online with it. I'm doing the meetings with online access too. I need the personal support right now, and who knows, maybe I'll meet some cool people.

I went to my first meeting this morning. The meeting itself, and all the people there, was good. The weigh in??? Holy freaking hell am I a lard ass. Granted I had on jeans a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie, but still. I weighed in at 183.2. Like the lady said though - might as well weigh in high the first time so that you can go down that much more next week!

So, there's going to be a lot of changes in the way that we are eating. WW really focuses on healthy eating and really an overall healthy lifestyle.

As the days go on we'll fill you in on how it's going and what changes we are making. For right now though, and this is probably because I'm focusing on all the things that I shouldn't be eating, I'm HUNGRY.

Cute little bastard isn't he?

Bustin' It Out

2011-02-09T18:18:00.000-08:00

It's time to make things happen! Results don't come from being lazy, and my ass isn't going to shrink itself!

My first day at the new job is going to be the 28th, so I have 19 days to work it out and lose as much weight as possible. To that end I've created a workout schedule. It has a LOT of variation to keep it interesting.

Here it is:

Here's my pledge to you - I will tweet my success (or lack thereof) every evening on twitter. Every morning I will tweet the previous days total calorie intake and expenditure. If you don't already, follow me and FGS on twitter now!

Here's hoping for the best!

Fat Stats - Week # Who The Hell Knows

2011-02-08T19:57:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit emo lately, but that is changing. The big move has taken place and life is looking up. Unfortunately, my weight is also looking up.

So, this is literally some fatty "fat stats". It sucks, yes. But me and Fat Girl Slim are going to turn this shit around!

I'm gonna just show you the damage from the past few weeks straight up.

Fat Girl Slim's Weekly Numbers:

Muffin Top's Weekly Numbers:

So, um, yeah, big old "oops" right there.

If you saw yesterday though, FGS is headed to VEGAS! And no one wants to be a fat ass in Vegas. Me? I'm starting a new job in 3 weeks and plan to be significantly smaller than right now. My pants are tight, my muffin top is BULGING and things have got to change!

And change they will. We've done it before, we'll do it again. Even with 3 hours separating us.

I'm not feeling super hot tonight, I've got a bit of a cold. I'm going to bust out a plan for the next 3 weeks and tomorrow I'll be posting it for you all to see.

It's on like mo' fo' donkey kong bitches.

Like I've always said,

Words to live by!!!

I'm Thinkin' Vegas, Baby!

2011-02-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

Approximately 11 weeks, 3 days and 2 hours from now [not that I'm counting or anything...] I'm dropping off the kids with my sister and heading to Las Vegas for a long weekend with my husband. It's going to be a trip for our 5 year anniversary, although we are going a couple months late. Also, I'm meeting up with some of the most fabulous women I know while we are there. This trip has the potential to be epic. 4 days and 3 nights of fun. ADULT fun. I am pretty sure my husband and I are way overdue for this.

We are going to have a goooood time.....

You know what I would LOVE to be 11 weeks? Twenty pounds lighter, that's what. And it's totally do-able. I mean, it's do-able even according to healthy standards. It's time to go balls to the wall, people. I need to go big or go home. It really seems to be how I work best anyways. I've noticed I'm quite the all or nothing type of girl. [why does that sound dirty?]

I know the past few weeks have been nothing but a whiney cry-fest on this blog, and I thank you all for sticking with us. We've truly been a couple emo cows as of late. However, there will be no more of that. It's time to get back to basics and accomplish some goals. So today it's business as usual. [kinda] I'm headed to the gym, I'm eating right and most importantly, I have the right attitude back in place. Never, never, NEVER underestimate the things you can accomplish with the correct frame of mind.

Not really on topic, but OMG, so funny.

Tomorrow we will be back with Fat Stats, as per the [used to be] usual. I might have to post them if Muffin Top doesn't have interwebs at her new house yet, but it WILL be done.

Happy Monday, everyone! Get out and get your exercise on. Let's start this week out right.

Fat Stats Postponed

2011-02-02T08:49:00.000-08:00

I didn't do fat stats yesterday. It was my last day of work with Fat Girl Slimmed

I'm not going to do them today either.

My heart hurts.

Way down deep in a place that cannot be reached by consolation. A place where nothing can really make it better, because damn it, it's NOT going to be better. It will be different, maybe even good, but it can't really ever be better.

I'm sitting at home when I should be at work with my homie. I'm packing up my family to leave my home. It's not just a house, it's where I've built a life, raised a family. There's a wall where we've marked our boys heights since they could stand up. Who's going to appreciate that when we leave?

I have no words of wisdom to impart. I have no inspiration to give. I only have a hole that can never be filled by anyone except the people I'm leaving behind.

I'm sorry this blog hasn't been what it should be lately, and I promise we will get back on track.

But right now? I just can't right now.

Starting Over

2011-01-31T21:54:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to write this post for a few days now, and the words just won't come out the way I want them to. But now Tuesday is almost upon me, so I don't have any more chances to post this. Tomorrow is officially Muffin Top's last day at work with me. It's the last time we'll spend the day together as we have for almost every week day of the last two years.  It's the last time we'll go to the gym together. It may even be the last time we listen to Ice Cube together. I'm so conflicted about this.

First, I have to say that I'm so proud of Muffin Top and her husband. They set out with a goal of moving to a new city, and damn it, they made it happen. There was no sitting around day dreaming. They made plans and stuck to them, and I wish them nothing but the best in their new endeavors. I know without a doubt both of them will succeed at whatever they do.

All that said, I kind of feel lost about it all. Where does this leave me? Who will kick me out the door and force me to the gym? Who will sing Ludacris with me? Who will I have Bob Friday with? This is all a little scary.

I realized today that I'm pretty much starting over. And Muffin Top is starting over tenfold. Scary. I've been so off track for weeks now. The lack of routine and the lack of motivation have sent me into a downward spiral. A lot of our last weeks posts have been depressing at best because nobody relishes in the unknown. It's hard to be too excited when everything is changing. Humans crave what is comfortable and safe. Nothing about this new phase in life seems safe.

Just the other day I was thinking of all that's happened in the past two years. I was feeling really emo because as usual, I'm resistent to change. I don't want Muffin Top to leave; we have a comfortable pattern we've fallen into.  Half the time we can complete each other's sentences. I guess that's what happens when you spend 40 hours a week in the same room with someone, plus long runs on Saturday. I'm stubborn and selfish, and I have no desire whatsoever for my routine to change.

However, I realized that I was in this same predicament a little over 2 years ago. At that time, I was really was unsure about going back to work. The thought was scary and sad, and I had no desire to leave my comfort zone. Hell, I really wasn't even too sure about working with another girl. I had always been the only one, and I wasn't really up for drama. Change can be good though. So many things in my life have improved since I put myself out there again.  If I never would've tried, I would've missed out on SO much.

In no particular order:

-I've made lots of new friends.
-Muffin Top and I got gym memberships and ACTUALLY used them a lot!!!
-We made a running schedule and saw it through, all the way to the half marathon!
-We actually started this blog, and we've actually posted on it. Crazy.
-I planted a garden [well, my hubby did!]
-I've officially lost over 25lbs

This list could go on and on. So much of my life has changed for the better, all because I made that leap and started over. So, it's time to do it again.

And Muffin Top, I know you are scared, sad and just generally emo, but this is going to be a good change.  These last two years wouldn't of been as crazy good if you weren't around to motivate me, or randomly bitch at me, or just listen to me whine. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard or spent so much time contemplating random thoughts. It's been good. Really good. But there is more good to come for us all. I just know it.

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

Busting Out

2011-01-26T16:29:00.000-08:00

I didn't post fat stats yesterday. I'm not going to do them today either.

Why? I. just. don't. want. to.

I'm emo, I'm fat, I'm depressed, I'm unmotivated. I'm pissed at myself. Pissed at the world.

Today is the very last Wednesday I will ever work with Fat Girl Slim. And that sucks.

There is just way to much going on in my life right now.

Changing jobs.

Moving kids to a new school.

Moving an entire household with 2 1/2 weeks notice.

Leaving everyone I know and love.

Trying to sell a house that's now worth considerably less than I owe.

And on top of that I've been eating horribly and not counting my calories. This just spirals my depression. Not good. I need to bust out of this ... this ... whatever the hell this is.

Some Weekends Rock

2011-01-24T16:50:00.000-08:00

This last weekend happened to be one of them. First, on Friday night, I went out with the work crew and had a BLAST. I was tipsy for the first time in For-EV-er. Then Saturday we headed to the coast where my hubby works. It was an amazing, relaxing, fun-filled time. It was SO nice to spend some time with him on my weekend. And the weather... well I'll let these pictures speak for themselves!!! Seriously, I'm not sure how I could live in a more gorgeous location.

Muffin Top is back tomorrow with fat stats. I've had a really hard time getting it together the past few weeks. I'm not sure what's up, but I need to get back on track. ASAP, preferably!!!

I've Got A Feeling...

2011-01-21T16:02:00.000-08:00

...That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night.

This week I've exercised ONCE.

I've had ZERO green smoothies.

I've made maybe TWO good decisions with food.

But you know what??? I'm going out tonight. I'm going out with my work crew [including Muffin Top, natch!], sans kids. And for just today, I don't give a SHIT about exercise and weight loss.

Yep. Yep. NO problems tonight!!!

I'll be back on Monday with something productive to say. Until then, have a FABULOUS weekend.

CHEERS!!!!

(Belated) Tuesday Fat Stats

2011-01-19T15:02:00.000-08:00

Considering today is a fat stats day, we were bad girls.

We started out with really good intentions. It just went downhill from there.

Neither of us could even deal with the thought of going to the gym. Our solution? Spend our hour lunch going for a nice long walk.

And walk we did. We went down to Barnes & Noble and I got my 8 y.o. boy the next Captain Underpants book. Then we walked some more and ended up right smack dab in front of Apple Bee's.

I'm sure it will come as no big surprise that we talked ourselves into going in. Because we are in mourning. It's therapeutic. It cost less than a co-pay. And here's what we had (mine's in the front, FGS is in the back):

Nom, nom, nom

We made one serious mistake though. When we ~~stumbled~~ walked back into the office, our boys were not very impressed that we had not called to invite them. Oops.

They, of course, then felt the need to put this outside the door to our office:

Yes, we work with children

Not nice boys. Not nice.

Anyway, I'm rambling and that's not even the point of this post. It's fat stats time, so here goes:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 53 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 53 Numbers:

FGS had a nice week of maintaining - anytime you don't gain it's a win. Don't you ever forget it.

I've been so stressed out that I haven't been able to eat. At all. Hence the 2.8 pounds lost.

I wish I could say it was because I worked my butt off, but that would totally be a lie. I plan to continue this trend though. I will not move and become a fat ass. I will. not. do. it.

Change Is Inevitable

2011-01-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

To much is going on to do fat stats today. Tomorrow though - swears!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's nothing you can do about it, change is going to happen rather you want it to or not.

Sometimes though, change comes about, and you have no one to blame but yourself.

I've lived in the same area for 17 years now. Mr. MT has lived here 31 years. We've been thinking for some time about relocating to a different area - probably sometime this coming summer. So when we saw a couple of job openings last week, we thought "what the hell".

Well, that "what the hell" has turned into 2 job offers. In a city that is 3 hours away and where I don't know anyone.

We are going to go for it. And I'm scared. Really scared. And sad. And nervous. And emo. And worried. And excited. And now I'm in tears.

Most pertinent to this blog though, I'm going to miss my FGS like a mother fucker. She's my work buddy. She's my gym buddy. She's my gawd damn blogging buddy.

Now I'm crying for real, so I'm just going to leave you with this.

You cannot and will never be replaceable FGS.

We Should've Posted, But...

2011-01-13T16:45:00.001-08:00

2nd Annual Fat Stats!!!

2011-01-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

One short year ago today, our little blog was born with this post by Fat Girl Slimmed. Can you believe it?!

I honestly wasn't entirely convinced a blog was a good idea. Who would ever read it? It didn't mean I actually had to run a half marathon, did it? I mean, really, what was even the point?

Now listen closely, because this doesn't happen often. But since FGS did it that one time, I'm going to admit it - she was right about the blog. It has been a great place to vent, a place to stay accountable, a place where I get kudos, motivation, and comfort from you guys. Without it I don't know that I would've ever ran that half marathon!

I've got to tell you though, compiling the numbers for this week's fat stats I was more than upset. It's discouraging to see just how far I still have to go. But I'm not going to focus on that - I've ran a HALF MARATHON for Pete's sake!!!

So what have I accomplished? I'll tell you what, I've lost FOURTEEN inches. That's no small thang baby! I've also managed to lose 2.8 pounds (it was considerably more before the debacle that was the holidays). I'm going to put a positive spin on that and mention for that many inches lost, I've obviously replaced a bunch of fat with muscle!

Do I want more? Hell yes. Am I going to get there? Hell yes.

Muffin Top's Week 52 Numbers:

And our little FGS? How about her?

Home girl has lost a whopping THIRTY FOUR inches! Not only that, she's managed to lose (and keep off) 25.9 pounds. Can I get a hell yeah?!

Fat Girl Slim's Week 52 Numbers:

Stay tuned for my get-skinny-by-my-birthday plan tomorrow!

Commitment Phobia

2011-01-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

You wouldn't think just by looking at me that I have commitment issues. I happily married my husband after knowing him less than a year. I own a house [that I'm, unfortunately, very committed to], and I've been at the same job for years. The truth is though, I'm petrified of committing to things. Especially if these "things" have a potential for me to fail. Maybe the fear I have is actually of failure?? Who knows. Certainly not me! Maybe my shrink??

Anyways, when we decided to run a half marathon, I really didn't think it through. I just went for it with reckless abandon. Head first, balls deep. It was exhilirating. It was terrifying. And in the end, it was exhausting.

Bwahahahaha... Too funny not to share.

So, I've been hemming and hawing [wtf does that mean exactly anyways?] over whether or not to run a marathon. And at the moment, I'm not commiting to it. What I am commiting to, however, is the next three weeks. I've found a 24-week marathon training plan I'm interested in [and a marathon, shhhhh!!], so here goes nothing. Below, for your viewing pleasure, my next three weeks in exercise land. I had to modify it to fit my crazy schedule, but I think it will work.

Week 1: January 10-16: Total Miles: 9

Monday - Run 2 miles, weight circuit
Tuesday- Run 2 miles
Wednesday- LONG Run 3 miles
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Run 2 miles, weight circuit
Saturday-Cross train
Sunday - Rest

Week 2: January 17-23: Total Miles: 11

Monday - Run 2 miles, weight circuit
Tuesday- Run 3 miles
Wednesday- LONG Run 4 miles
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Run 2 miles, weight circuit
Saturday-Cross train
Sunday - Rest

Week 3: January 24-30: Total Miles: 14

Monday - Run 3 miles, weight circuit
Tuesday- Run 3 miles
Wednesday- LONG Run 5 miles
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Run 3 miles, weight circuit
Saturday-Cross train
Sunday - Rest

This little schedule will get me through January, and maybe by that point I'll commit to my marathon. Maybe.

Getting My Game Face On

2011-01-06T15:24:00.000-08:00

There are 9 weeks until my 33rd birthday.

33 isn't really any big milestone. But I want it to be. I want it to be the year that I achieve some goals. Things that I've been dragging out for years and years - I want to be done with them. I want the satisfaction of crossing the proverbial finish line (and maybe a few actual ones).

To be right up-front with you, I'm not in a really good place right now. I blew it over the holidays. I feel completely fat, bloated, disgusting, and undesirable. I cannot explain to the amount of anger that I'm feeling towards myself.

Anger for dropping the ball.

Anger for not caring enough about myself.

Anger for having that last 15 pieces of chocolate.

Anger for saying "screw it", when I should've said "I got this".

The list could really go on, and on, and on...

But I'm tired of being a whiner. Tired of focusing on the negative. Tired of beating myself up.

So, now what?

It's time to get my game face on.

Cause you know what talking about accomplishes?

Not a damn thing.

If you want results, you've got to get off your ass and do something about it.

You know who made me fat?

Me.

You know who's going to make me a skinny bitch.

ME. That's who.

Bringin' Back The Big Green Hump

2011-01-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've added to your green smoothie repertoire, so I figured it was due. For the past three weeks I've been fighting off a nasty cough/cold combo. The cold symptoms are mostly gone, but this cough just won't go away. I've started an all-out war to get rid of it!! Green smoothies, vitamins, exercise (although not too much) and sleep are all on the agenda.

Yeah, been neglecting myself for awhile again now...

Since we're kind of in "new year, new you" mode around these parts, I figured I'd throw out a really good detox smoothie recipe featuring citrus. Lemons, limes, oranges, etc. rank highly amongst fruit for their detoxing abilities.

So without further ado, blend one of these up and drink to a new year!

"The Limon Detox"

1 lemon, peeled and deseeded
1 lime, peeled and deseeded
3 bananas, peeled
1 cup orange juice
2 cups kale

Blend, drink, repeat.

The First Fat Stats of 2011

2011-01-04T15:55:00.000-08:00

I hope that you all aren't expecting epicness.

It is, after all, the first fat stats after that (should be) four lettered word - holidays. Can you hear the disgust in my tone?

Fuck the holidays, with it's pies, rolls, fudge, cookies, mashed potatoes, and the frequent family-induced drinking.

Because, you know what the end result is?

I'll tell you what. It's a fat ass.

Please, God, let my ass never be in this predicament.

Poor thing probably didn't even realize :(

But never fear - I am capable of ALL KINDS of fake perkiness :) Woo-fucking-hoo!

Seriously though, it's on. Like I've always said "nut up, or shut up". And, well, it's NUT UP TIME!!!

I'm turning 33 in two months and I have every intention of being considerably thinner than I am at this moment. This is a journey, and I'm in it for the long haul.

With that said, time to fess up the damage done over the last few weeks.

Fat Girl Slim's Weekly Numbers:

Muffin Top's Weekly Numbers:

Yes, there was some serious damage done.

No, it will not stay like that.

Stay tuned for our plan of action!!!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T16:53:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all our wonderful readers!

Here's looking forward to a year full of results, success, and a crap-ton of fun too :)

Stay tuned for Monday's post on our resolutions!

My Own Personal Cheerleader

2010-12-22T16:16:00.000-08:00

I was reading a post on 263 and Counting about self-sabotage, and it got me thinking. I am my own worst enemy. The way I talk to myself? I would never, ever talk that way to anyone else! I would never be so rude and degrading.

Why do I do it to myself? Why do I pretend it's okay to put myself down? To call myself cruel and hurtful things? Why do I find it acceptable to verbally abuse myself?

Honestly, I have no idea why. I'm sure some psychologist could find some deep seated issues from my childhood...

But that's not really the point. The point is:

It is NOT okay.

At all.

Ever.

If someone else says something offensive to me, I am quick to defend myself. I am not the type of person to take bull shit lying down.

I have to do this for myself too! I deserve it.

Which brings me to another point. It's almost horrifying how little I believe in myself. Just typing those words "I deserve it" was actually hard for me. I don't think I actually believe those words. I don't know when it happened, but I've stopped even believing that I have the right to healthy and happy.

And you know what? That is utter bull shit.

I don't know how many of you out there are the same way - but we have got to stop this! If I don't believe I deserve to lose weight, how in the hell is it ever going to become a reality?

I need to become my own personal cheerleader. Because as fucking wonderful as you all are, if I don't root for myself it doesn't matter what anyone else says.

So, I say - GO M.T.!!!

RAH! RAH! RAH!

I Can't Get It Up

2010-12-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, but theses days, I just can't get it up.

You go Woody

It's like my give-a-damn is busted. Problem is, I have no idea how to fix it.

I know what it takes to lose weight.

I know how much I need to work out.

I know how to eat right.

I just can't seem to care enough to do it.

I need to just hop on and enjoy the ride...

I don't know if I'm just depressed because it's the holidays. Or because losing weight takes so freaking long. Or because it's such hard work.

Maybe I'm just a whiny bitch. Maybe I just need to shut up and get to it.

But therein lies the problem. I just can't seem to do it.

Someone out there want to lend me some of their "get up and go"?

Whatever it is, I just can't seem to shake it.

I'm Lame

2010-12-20T16:36:00.001-08:00

I procrastinated posting all day, and now I have no time.

Well at least there's an up side, right??

Maybe tonight? Sorry, bloggie friends. Major lame moment on my part!!!

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 48

2010-12-14T16:54:00.000-08:00

This week wasn't to bad, we both had a loss. Which is what we're looking for, right?

It wasn't epic though, which is what I want.

So, what am I going to do about it? I've got a PLAN people!!!

I recently got the new Jillian Michaels' DVD "6 Weeks to 6 Pack Abs" (review pending!), so I've got the 6 week time frame on the brain. I'm a spread-sheeting fool, so natch I opened up Excel and got down to business.

Here's what's on the schedule for the next 6 weeks of epicness!

Muffin Top's 6 Week Madness:

Click to see larger

Fat Girl Slim's 6 Weeker:

Click to see larger

Every week we'll check in with you and let you know how we did. Which workouts we rocked, if we missed any, etc.

Now on to the fat stats. Here you go:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 48 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 48 Numbers:

Coming next week: RESULTS people!

Lack Of Balance

2010-12-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

Lately life has been a little excessive yet simultaneously underdone and monotonous. Too much food, not enough sleep. Too many errands, not enough gym time. Too much sad, not enough happy. Too much confusion, not enough clarity. Too much anxiety, not enough peace. I'm no stranger to the fact that life has it's ebbs and flows, but this ebb seems never-ending as of late. It seems as though it's mostly filler moments with just a sprinkling of the amazing life I've come to know; reminding me that I do still have happiness. I do still have crazy good in my life. I've realized lately that there needs to be more LIVING going on here and less getting by. How exactly to accomplish that, I'm unsure. I'm desperate to find balance, yet every day I seem to fail at this seemingly simple task.

I think when you start to just "get by" you lose the clarity necessary to make a better life for yourself. Sometimes it feels like I'm just floating outside myself watching my "life" happen to someone else. My goals aren't well defined, and my motivation is lacking.

I won't deny that this time in my life happens to be full of change and unknowns, which is definitely contributing to my lack of harmony. The love of my life is currently only home two days a week, and it's crushing to me. As completely ridiculous as it sounds, I'm just not ME when he's gone. I feel very lost, alone and just plain crazy at times without him. He's my best friend, and right now I see him approximately 8 hours a week. And it hurts me to the core to know he's just as miserable right now as I am.

Also, we need to sell our house and move [so we can live in the same city again], but who knows if we'll be able to do that with the current real estate market. I sit up and worry about things that I can't fix constantly. My ridiculous anxiety has been out of control lately, and it's horrible. I'm lacking balance. I'm lacking peace. I'm lacking the feelings of security and comfort that I crave more than anything else.

Every time I start to get on track lately, something else comes along and again, I'm thrown off balance. I try to remind myself to take life one day at a time. If I could just get it right for ONE day, maybe I would start a trend? Maybe today is that day?

For the most part, today was a very balanced day. I didn't snooze my alarm, and I had my kids ready to go before it was even time to leave. I didn't go over on my calories, and I worked my ass off at the gym. In a moment, I'm headed to bed in order to get at least seven hours of sleep. I'm pretty sure I even laughed a few times today. It's a start, right? I'm going to try again tomorrow too. Who knows, maybe I could hold it together for two days in a row. Good things build on each other right? Momentum will pick up.

I know I usually attempt to be funny, and I'm sorry I couldn't do that for you all tonight. We aim to keep it real here though, and sometimes real life sucks ass. Tomorrow I'll be back with my new workout schedule and some motivation. Tonight though? Tonight I needed this blog as an outlet. Sometimes you guys are better than therapy.

Here's to day two of balance. Cheers.

New Playlist

2010-12-10T12:13:00.000-08:00

Ok, not entirely new, but here's a snapshot of my recent tunes.

Don't make fun of my nerdy choices, peeps!

How My Thursday Went

2010-12-10T12:02:00.000-08:00

So, remember yesterday how I said I was going to be more accountable to you guys? Well here is the first day of that!

For any newbies out there, both me and Fat Girl Slim are both sporting GoWear Fits. Here is a snapshot of my GoWear Fit summary from yesterday:

I didn't do to bad yesterday. I like to burn about 3,000 calories a day, so I was a little short there. My physical activity and steps take were also short. This is because I didn't hit the gym at lunch. On Thursdays I volunteer at my kid's school during lunch (insert collective "ahs" here). I know, I'm awesome.

The one thing that I AM super proud of is the fact that I kept my calories under control. Yeah me!!!

This is the one area that I struggle the most with, and any day that I can conquer is a kick-ass day in my book.

Here's to hoping today is rockin' too!

It's ON

2010-12-09T12:21:00.000-08:00

I need some accountability. I need a plan. I need a schedule.

For awhile after I got my Go Wear Fit I was posting my daily intake and expenditures. For awhile I was posting my workout schedules.

What happened? I just got out of the habit I suppose.

No longer!

I am going to start posting DAILY with my total calorie intake and calories burned. I am going to start posting WEEKLY with my workout schedule. If I'm feeling extra super motivated I might even post what I eat daily, like the details even.

Because you guys deserve ~~the~~ my best. If you are going to use part of your day to check in here then you deserve to see us busting ass and getting results!

(Belated) Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 47

2010-12-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

Seriously?! Week 47?!

How the hell did that happen?

I can tell you one thing for sure - I better be one skinny bitch by the time week 52 rolls around!

ONE YEAR - we've been doing this for almost ONE YEAR!!!

Today though? I'm not a skinny bitch. At least I'm rockin' half the equation right?

It's fat stats and while I'm not moving in the wrong direction, I'm also not moving in the right direction. Lame-sauce for sure.

Weeks without a loss feel like a losing week to me. Like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. I can't lie to you guys though - this week I haven't been the rock star I need to be.

To get what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done.

What have I done? Sat on my ass. Ate craptastic foods.

What has it gotten me? A fat ass and a craptastic attitude about myself.

It's time to do it like ROCK STAR!!!

So, here's our (unchanged) numbers.

Fat Girl Slim's Week 47 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 47 Numbers:

Stay posted for success of EPIC proportions :)

Fat Stats Are Tomorrow

2010-12-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

Fat Girl Slim and me have been doing an office switcheroo. We had to paint the new office (including an accent wall, natch).

For reals people, there was even sweat involved...

Needless to say, we've been very busy and away from our computers. Hence the lack of posting.

But, good news, we are all done and moved in! There isn't any time to do fat stats today, but I will do them tomorrow after I get into the office. Swear!!!

You know this!

The Great Food Swap

2010-12-03T17:04:00.000-08:00

My intake lately has been less than ideal. Calorie-wise, I've only been slightly over, but nutrition? You can forget it. I'm almost embarrassed to write down the foods I've been eating, but hey, we keep it real here.

So it's time for some "eat this instead of that". I'm going grocery shopping this weekend, and I promise I'll be swapping out some of my ridiculously not healthy staples for better ones.

Breakfast:

Normally I eat a bean burrito [I'm not shitting you, but hey, only 280 calories!!!]

New, improved breakfast:

Steel cut oats, crock pot style with walnuts, brown sugar and flax. Boom.

Mid-morning snack:

Normally, this is a 1oz bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. [I know!!!]

New, improved snack:

Dried mangos & a banana

I'm not changing lunch... so there.

Afternoon snack:

Normally, I'll rock some Junior Mints, or possibly some Peanut M&Ms.

New, improved snack:

Protein shake after gym time. Because I'm going to get buff.

So that's it. I pretty well have dinner covered already, so no need to change it up there.

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. I'll be back Monday with a book review, so stay tuned.

It's So Damn Easy

2010-12-02T16:28:00.000-08:00

There are a million things that are not easy.

Namely, eating healthy, exercising consistently, losing some damn weight.

You know what's easy as all get out though?

Falling off the wagon.

One day you've been exercising 6 - 7 days a week, then it's Thanksgiving and next thing you know you can barely bust out 3 days of exercise and your eating is for shit.

It's so damn easy to revert back to how I used to be.

Food is temporary, but the nasty fat sticks around loooonnnngggg afterwards...

It really kind of terrifies me how easily I slip back into my bad habits. This week has really been about trying to drag myself out the post-holiday funk. I went to the gym Monday and did a kettle bell work out then I went to the gym again Wednesday and that's ALL I have done. All week long.

LAME.

And my eating. Total fail, like capital "F" fail.

I know this isn't an uplifting or inspiring post, but it's real life. I'm not gonna lie to you guys, this shit is HARD AS HELL!

The only difference between me and all of the failed dieters out there is that I REFUSE to give up!!!

Yeah, I've been blowing it lately, but my past mistakes do not determine my future behavior.

For reals peeps, for reals

Something I Never Thought I'd Say

2010-12-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Muffin Top was right. [OMG, I can't believe I actually admitted that out loud!!!] Let me say it one more time just for good measure. Muffin Top was right. After our half marathon was over and I "retired" from running, she told me that I'd miss it. [running, that is] I told her she was crazy. For a long time, I truly thought she was nusto. Not only did I NOT miss running, it actually felt freaking fantastic that I'd never have to do it again. MT could suck it because I DID NOT miss running. Whatsoever.

I'm lookin' at you, Muffin Top!!!!

Slowly though, ever so slowly, it's been creeping up on me without me actually realizing it. I can't seem to get my calorie burn to be where I want it for the day. I'm not eating as healthfully because I've lost that mind set of fueling my body. I constantly feel the need to set some kind of fitness goal in my life. Even my anxiety [which was almost non-existent while I was running] has come back in full force. All signs point to it, but hell if I was going to admit it, even to myself! I am pretty sure I actually MISS running. What's even worse??? I think I maybe, kinda, sorta want to start doing it again. You know, like on a regular basis. I MIGHT even want to train for an event again. Madness. I honestly can't even believe I'm putting this in writing. I may be truly insane at this point.

Because I am, in fact, a nutter.

So be on the lookout for more info about this on a blog. I'm going to browse around the interwebs and attempt to find a new training schedule. I'm also going to take a long, hard look at my life and try to figure out what I really want. Do I want to go for the full marathon? Do I want to run another half? Or do I just want to consistently be able to put in five miles in a sitting? It's all up in the air right now, folks, but there's more to come.

Week 46 (I'm Still) Fat Stats

2010-11-30T17:15:00.000-08:00

Long time, no post.

How've you all been doing? I've been great - eating, drinking, having an all around great time.

What could possibly be wrong with that, you might ask. Well, the fact that I actually do not have the metabolism of a 12 year old boy is a major part of it. I made (and consumed most of) a homemade pecan pie. I gorged on candied yams. I drank my own body weight in red wine and white russians.

This is bad people, BAD!!!

Trust me, it wasn't no carrot I was stuffing in my face!!!

This is my very long winded way of saying I fuckered up. Big time.

Not only did I eat like a complete and utter MORON, I also didn't work out for A FULL WEEK. The shame!!!

With that said, if you read FGS's post yesterday you'll know that I wasn't alone in my debauchery. So, without further ado, here are the (super sad) numbers:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 46 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 46 Numbers:

So, yes - there was gain all around.

This is not the end.

We are re-committed.

We are on the wagon.

We are going to ROCK THIS SHIT!!!

Stuffed Like The Turkey [Not A Porno Reference, Just FYI]

2010-11-29T14:20:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! How was the weekend? Was it as good for you as it was for me? I ate, drank and was generally merrier than a person should be. Holidays are good for that stuff. Along with this great weekend however, came THREE mother effing pounds. How is that even possible?? Let's hope it is a lot of sodium bloat, and not a lot of fat on my ass, shall we? [Just an aside, never, EVER google "fat ass" for images. {{Full body shudder}}]

My scale was SUPER disappointed with me this morn....

Today's moment on the scale brought me immediately back to reality though, and the reality is that it's time to kick things up a notch. [Sorry for the Emeril reference, I know its been overdone]. I've been talking lately with several people about the importance of weights in a work out, and I've decided it's time. I've [finally, foolishly] decided to let my work-out-obsessive-weight-lifting-machine co-worker show me a new weight lifting routine today. Will it be the one I end up sticking to? Will I fall over and die? Will I embarass myself totally and completely? Who knows. The point is that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. I need new ideas, new routine, new everything.

This is me.

I've been feeling a little stuck lately with this whole diet/exercise gig. No clue if you've all noticed my lack of blog posts, but I just haven't had a lot to say. Also, I'm teetering really close to "the weight I never get below, ever", and I think it's screwing with me. I know I CAN get past it, but at the moment it seems daunting. So I'm shaking it up. I'm going to add weights. I'm going to start running again. More importantly, I'm going to start blogging obsessively again so no one has to fret over that. [Not that you were or anything...]

I'll try my best to get my new, improved workout schedule over to MT tomorrow in time for fat stats. In the meantime though, I figure I should mention that we were featured on the Skinny Runner blog this past holiday weekend!!! Skinny Runner is a marathon-running machine, and I'm pretty sure MT has a major girl crush on her. We are SUPER proud to be featured over on her blog, so go take a look! Also, if you've found us via Skinny Runner, then WELCOME!!! Please prepare yourself for amazingly random topics and copious amounts of profanity.

Here's to a new week! What's on everyone's work out agenda???

Tuesday NO Fat Stats

2010-11-23T17:06:00.000-08:00

No fat stats today peeps. Why? Because I'm fat and I don't want to.

I'm up 2 GDMF pounds and I'm pissed off at myself. I totally deserve to be up. I went out of town for the weekend and didn't track a damn thing that went into my mouth. Bad Muffin Top, BAD!

And it's not like it's going to get any better. It's 5:00 and I'm "officially" off for the next 5 days. Which, somewhat unfortunately, include Thanksgiving. I don't know what Thanksgiving is like in your house, but in my family we eat. And drink. And have dessert. And drink. And eat a little more.

What does this mean? Even FATTER Muffin Top! What the fuck am I supposed to do. I know skinny people make it through the holidays fine, but I'm scared. I'm really, truly, genuinely scared that I just do not have the self control necessary to not gain 5 pounds this weekend.

I'm packing all my workout stuff and bring my DVDs. My intention is to work out at least once a day, but I really want to get in 2 a days. Plus a family walk thrown in for good measure.

I'm hoping (with my fingers and toes crossed) that this will be enough. Please God, let it be enough.

GASP I Have Nothing To Talk About

2010-11-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

I am not usually at a loss for words. I am way (overly) opinionated. Just ask Fat Girl Slim. She gets to listen to me go off on random tangents nearly daily.

Why then, can I not come up with a single topic for a Friday blog post?

My solution? To just talk like we were in the same room. Sitting down together to share a nice cold beer and shoot-the-shit.

FGS was playing G6 by Free Wired this morning when I walked into the office. It's been stuck in my head ALL DAMN DAY. Bonus though. I can now use the word "slizzered" in a sentence. WOOT! I'm (slightly) ashamed to say that I really love this song. It totally makes me want to go dancing.

One of my MOST favorite things in THE WORLD is to go dancing. I can shake my ass for hours on end. Quite happily, I might add. Sad fact :( I have no (local) friends that like to go dancing. Lame. My college friend Stacie and me - we used to go out for hours, then come home and dance at home until we passed out. What could be better???

I'm heading out of town this weekend. Going to beautiful Bend, Oregon with the family. The hubs and I are considering relocating, so we are going to check it out and see if we could see ourselves there long-term.

How beautiful is this place???

Before we do that though, I ~~have to~~ get to go to dinner at the in-laws. Everyone from work is going out for drinks, but me? Going to the in-laws. Sometimes being an adult is really lame. Well, that and I already cashed in my stupid-crazy-completely-inappropriate drunk card for this month. I will spare you the details, but the phrase "Misty-drunk" (my RL first name) is now being used in the office. Lame.

It's 4:35 in the evening and it's getting dark. WTF?! I do not like this? Is there anywhere in the world that you can escape this? Surely there's somewhere that it doesn't get dark at 4:30 at night. I go to work when it's dark, I get home when it's dark.

I ADORE twitter. I love all of the kick-ass chicks I've met there! They make me laugh, they cheer me up, they encourage me. Total WIN. If you aren't tweeting - do it now. And follow me, we'll chat!

Follow me? Please?!

A Belated Week 44 Fat Stats

2010-11-18T10:06:00.000-08:00

Good news!!!

I passed my ADO.NET Microsoft certification exam that I took yesterday :) Yeah me!!!

Bad news :(

I've been so obsessed with studying and taking the stupid thing that I've neglected you all.

BAD Muffin Top! BAD! Someone needs a spankin' (any takers?).

And Fat Girl Slim and me had some pretty good stats too! Here goes:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 44 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 44 Numbers:

WHO'S YO DADDY?!

That's right - FGS & MT be yo daddy!!!

Holding Out For A Hero...

2010-11-15T17:08:00.000-08:00

...And I think I found one. A really good looking one at that!!! [Oh, how I love a man in uniform...]

Today's post is brief, but I just wanted to give my husband a shout out, and let him know how PROUD I am of him!!!! Going to his police academy graduation was truly one of the most emotional moments in my entire life. I've never been more impressed or amazed with another person. We made it through together, and I couldn't be married to a better man.

Introducing.... Officer Fat Girl Slim!!!!

Sorry blog peeps, I can't share where he's working. [Don't you love my mad photo editing skills? I'm an expert.]

Muffin Top will be back with post-vacation fat stats tomorrow, so let's all hope the scale is feeling forgiving!!!

69 Days and Counting...

2010-11-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

Fat Girl Slimmed did a post last week when there was exactly 69 days until the one year anniversary of our blog. There are fewer days now (only 60, how crazy is that?!), but here's my version of that post...

What's the one thing I want more than anything? To lose weight. So that's my first goal.

I want to weigh 155 pounds

Now, this isn't my goal weight, and it's not even an ambitious 2 pound a week loss. It's 10 pounds less than I weight right now, and about a 1.2 pound per week loss. Am I not aiming high enough? I don't think so. I think I'm being realistic in looking at the way my body works. I just DO NOT drop weight fast. I just don't. So why set myself up for failure when I have a chance at feeling a real sense of accomplishment? And if I do lose more? Right on!!!

I want to get back to eating healthfully

If you've read this blog for awhile you know that we are huge proponents of the green smoothie. Yeah, guess how long it's been since I had one? I am going to include at least one fruit or vegetable in every single meal and snack that I have. That's right, even my snacks.

I want to workout every single day

It's not that I want to overdo it. I'm not talking balls-to-the-wall every day. But your body was made to move. And that's what I'm going to do. I plan on having 5-6 days with "real" workouts - running, weights, what not - and 1 or 2 days where I do something nice and easy like going for a long walk or doing some relaxing yoga for flexibility.

So, what would like to accomplish in the next 60 days???

And just so you know, comments = mad love. We can't get enough of them!!!

A Conversation With Myself

2010-11-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

I am not entitled.
It does matter.

I do not deserve it.
I will regret it.

Every little thing, every bite, each small snack, every last nibble, taste, morsel.

They all add up to the muffin top that resides on my waist. They add up to the jiggle in my thighs. To the turkey gobblers that reside under my arms.

Even more importantly though - they add up to my shame of my body, to my self loathing, to my non-existent self esteem.

They last so much longer than the two seconds of savoring the taste.

So then, why do I do it???

Win, Fail & Obsession

2010-11-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday! I'm practically buzzing with excitement, because tomorrow I leave for vacation!!! My wonderful, sexy husband is FINALLY graduating from police academy. [helllooooo, handcuffs!], so we are headed 6 hours away to see him do so.

This last week has been a cluster for me. Work, packing, more work, it's just insanity. I realized there has been lots of WIN this week, but also lots of total FAIL. So I decided to break them down in this post. Also, I've been having a bit of obsession, but more on that at the end. Let's start with the WIN, shall we???

Total WIN. I finally wore a new, much smaller outfit to my co-worker's gathering Saturday night:

Not bad... no idea why I have such a goofy look on my face.

We won't mention the FAIL that was MT at said gathering. Let's just say, she needs to never consume that much alcohol again. Yet another WIN: I finally figured out what I'm wearing to my husband's graduation. Complete with the 'fuck me' boots. Hellz yeah.

Not exactly what I had in mind, but it works.

And a final WIN. I found that I don't look bad in hats! I got this cute number from Target, and I am totally in love with it. What do you think?

Don't mind my self-portrait fail...

And now for the FAIL. Food, food and more food. My co-worker's awesome wife made us some "Sex on your tongue" cake. Or at least that is what we decided to call it. It was freaking magical, and MT and I couldn't stay out of it. I believe it was pumpkin cheesecake of some kind with a rum/brown sugar/pecan glaze. Sooooo good. Sooooo bad for my ass.

There are no words to adequately describe how good this was...

Yet another food FAIL this week was Halloween candy. Have you guys tried the chocolate-covered peeps??? They are magic as well. Total ass-widening poofy marshmallow magic.

Mmmm... refined sugar....

Finally, I must mention the obsession. My scale and I are in a war. I know logically that I can't lose weight every day. I know my weight is going to fluctuate daily, and I need to focus on the long term. SO why do I step on it every morning??? Why do I obsess over my Go Wear Fit numbers like they are the end all, be all of my life?? I'm really not sure. However, I did something full on CRAZY last night. I took off my Go Wear Fit. I refuse to put it on until my vacation is over. I also refuse to step on the scale. Tough love, baby.

So I guess that is all for now. I leave you in Muffin Top's capable hands for the rest of the week. Don't have too much fun while I'm gone.

What Are You Listening To?

2010-11-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

We haven't posted a play list in a looong time. I just recently updated my list for the gym, so what a perfect time to put it up here for you guys.

I don't listen to these in any particular order, I listen on random so that it's a little different every time.

So, what about you? What are you guys listening to these days?

What Do I Really Want?

2010-11-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

There are a million and one things that I'd like. But when it comes to my body, there are basically two things that I want.

I want to be slender

Not scrawny, not anorexic model skinny, but I would like to be svelte. I want to be able to confidently say that I am happy with where my weight is. To be at the point where there is no longer just five more pounds to lose.

No anorexia here, just sexy, sexy, sexy.

I want to be toned.

I do not want to jiggle. I do not want to be flabby. I want muscles, but not bulk. There is nothing sexy about cottage cheese thighs or arms that jiggle. On the flip side, there is nothing sexy about biceps the size of my thighs.

Seriously, look at those arms, those ABS...

Guess I better get off my ass and get ready for the gym.

69 Is A Good Number, I Think...

2010-11-03T17:08:00.000-07:00

69 days. Just 69 days and we've been at this blogging business for ONE WHOLE ENTIRE FREAKING YEAR. Lawdy, how did this happen?!?!?!? I have no clue, but bottom line, our blog-iversary [totes not a word] is almost upon us. What better time to make some goals for the next 69 days. I need challenge. I need something to work towards. It's time.

So what would I like to accomplish by the time we've been goin' at it for a year?? The first one is very basic. I want the thing I set out for first and foremost.

I want to have lost 50 lbs total.

This is attainable. 69 days from now is almost 10 weeks away, and if I maintain a 2 lb a week loss, I should be able to wipe out the remaining 20 lbs to get me to that number. I just need to keep my head out of my ass and my eyes on the prize. Easier said than done, I realize.

My second goal is so ridiculous I almost find it funny, but I WANT it bad.

I want to get up every SINGLE morning for the next 69 days to exercise.

Yep, you read that right. 69 days of making my health my utmost priority. 69 days of saying, "Fuck you comfortable bed! You won't give me a nice ass!!!" I can do it, I think.

Finally, and probably the easiest for me...

I want to re-introduce myself to meditation.

Simple enough, but by the time we reach January, I want to be meditating again on a daily basis.

69 days. Unreal, people. Unreal!!!

And now it's Muffin Top's turn. Stay tuned for that tomorrow.

And The Winner Is...

2010-11-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

The winner for our first ever give away has been selected! (Insert fanfare here)

It was a very technical process.

First we printed out all the entries:

After cutting them all apart, we stuck them in my mug:

We mixed them all up:

And we drew out the lucky winner:

So, @AGirlInTheSouth shoot us an email with your info and we'll get your goodies out and headed your way!

Tuesday Fat Stat's - Week 42

2010-11-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

All in all, it was a so-so week. I've been in a really bad pattern the last few weeks. I weigh in on Tuesday, screw up majorly the next few days, then spend the few days before the next fat stats busting ass and double timing it.

Not good.

My goal for this week is straightforward - consistency. I need to workout everyday. I need to watch what I eat. I need to stay within my calories.

And, I've got to be honest with you, I've already screwed up. We had a department lunch this afternoon, which apparently, to me, means eat every single fattening thing you can stuff into your mouth. Damn it Muffin Top!!!

I know the sodium alone will kill me when I step on the scale tomorrow - but I'm going to do my best to not consume very many more calories, and I'm going to work out like a fiend tonight!

So? How did we do this week? Here goes...

Fat Girl Slim's Week 42 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 42 Numbers:

Stay tuned - we'll be posting the giveaway winner this afternoon :)

Life Is Too Short

2010-11-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

...to wait for some magical number on the scale before having amazing kitchen counter sex.

Oh YES, yes she did...

Just sayin'.

A Review: No More Trouble Zones (aka I Want To Die)

2010-11-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know that we both adore and loathe Jillian Michaels. Her "30 Day Shred" is our absolute go to DVD. If you've got 25 minutes, the Shred can hand you a serious workout. "No More Trouble Zones" is similar to the Shred in a couple of ways. They both kick your ass and they both are based on circuits. The main difference? Including the warm-up and cool-down, this DVD will take a whopping 55 minutes out of your day.

Yep, this is gonna hurt

No More Trouble Zones is broken down into 7 separate 6 minute intervals. They each focus on different body parts:

1. Shoulders & Legs
2. Chest & Abs
3. Biceps & Butt
4. Thighs & Triceps
5. Core
6. Upper Body & Core
7. Lower Body & Core

Do not doubt that each of these 6 minutes last long enough to make your muscles buuurrrnnn! After I did this DVD for the first time, I was sore. Sore like I haven't been in a good long time!

I don't know that exact number of calories that this workout will burn, but I am always sweaty mess by the end.

The bottom line? This is an ass-kicking workout! I would fancy myself as a fairly in shape person at this point, and it worked me good! And it has a 5 star rating on Amazon.com - with 381 reviews. I'm not the only one that likes this bad boy :)

Some highlights from the DVD:

How about some weights...

And a little core work...

A little kick-boxing for the "fun" of it...

And while we're at it, might as well do some more weights

The Give Away

2010-11-01T15:18:00.001-07:00

Just a quick note - Fat Girl Slim is not here today :(

Therefore the selection of the winner will be postponed until tomorrow.

I'm really, really, really sorry!

If you haven't entered yet, it's not to late!!! Just go here.

What I Put In My Mouth Yesterday

2010-10-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

Ask and you shall recieve.

Breakfast:

Frosted Mini Wheats (175)
Almond Milk (90)

Mid-morning snack:

Dried Mangos (160)

Lunch:

Weight Watcher Frozen Mini Pizzas (270)
16 Junior mints (170)
1 Pear (90)
1 Banana (105)

Dinner:

1 Whole Wheat English Muffin (120)
1 Tbsp Peanut Butter (94)
Green Smoothie (150)

So the breakdown for the day?? 9 servings of fruit and veggies. Not nearly enough protein, I'm sure, and a grand total of 1424 calories. Not a bad day, by any stretch!

It's Okay To Have a Bad Day

2010-10-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems that every last thing is going wrong.

Like there is nothing good in life.

And you know what? It's completely okay to feel like that. Let's face it, life isn't a fucking picnic. Shit happens.

What really matters is how you handle these inevitable times.

Are you going to crumble under the pressure, or are you going to give the world a big fat finger and keep on keepin' on?

I opt for the fattie.

Fuck the world.

Why Have I Kept My Head Up My Ass For So Long???

2010-10-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

I had the distinct privilege of taking a day off mid-week yesterday. It really doesn't happen very often, and of course, instead of relaxing or taking it easy, I did what any masochistic asshole would do. I cleaned out my closet and tried on clothes that [until recently] were too small. Imagine my surprise when I slipped on THE pair of jeans I've been thinking were my "skinny" jeans [or at least from skinnier times], and I could button and zip them! They are still pretty tight, and I wouldn't wear them in public yet, but HELLO!!! I can zip them. They may look like tight sausage casings on my thighs, but it's something, right?

Anyways, after the initial high realizing I AM really losing weight, came a big blow. THESE were my skinny jeans, but I'm nowhere near skinny. How did I not realize this? Why did I choose to ignore it?? How long HAVE I been overweight, anyways? Too long, my friends. Too long.

Those "skinny" jeans are a size 11. [Juniors, if I'm not mistaken?] It's definitely not a huge size, but it isn't terribly small either. [Not to mention the fact that they are worn in and potentially streched out.] I haven't put a leg in them for 8 years, I believe. Is it possible that I've been this big for EIGHT years? Is it possible that I wasted away at least that long not being happy with my body? Abso-freaking-lutely. I'm actually pretty sure I haven't been happy with my body since my senior year in high school. I was athletic, I weighed 145 lbs., and I fit into size 5 pants. I want it back so bad it physically hurts.

Lately we've been getting lots of requests for Before/Current pictures. I figured I'd post a few today, just to "see how far I've come" while choosing not to focus on "how far I have left to go". I actually have very few pictures of myself when I was at my biggest, not unlike most people who are disgusted by their appearance.

For your viewing pleasure:

This picture below is of me at my absolute biggest. No clue how much I weighed, I wouldn't dare.

Terrible picture of a Twi-nerd, I know!!! Don't judge.

And the most current picture I have:

Bad dressing room self shot, but you get the idea.

I can see it. There definitely is some progress there. And I promise you, my friends, one day there will be before AND after pictures on this site. We will celebrate then.

We Want To Give You Stuff!

2010-10-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

It's officially here - our first ever GIVEAWAY!!!

Everyone likes free stuff, right?

We've had a really hard time deciding what to give away, so we decided to just go with a few of our favorites.

It's no secret that we adore Jillian Michaels "The Shred" dvd. Really, how could we not include it?

Another thing that has been really key for us, even though we haven't actually blogged about it much, is "The Spark" book:

And last, but not least - the one thing that we absolutely had to have for long runs. What else but the ever scrumptious Clif Shot Bloks?

So, how do you get your hands on these fabulous items? The following will each get you an entry into the giveaway (to be done next Monday):

1. Leave a comment on this post telling us something you'd like to see on the blog.
2. Become a new follower of the blog or, if you are already a follower, get a friend to follow.
3. Tweet this post (include @MuffinTopped and/or @FatGirlSlimmed in your tweet).
4. Link to this post on your blog.

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 41

2010-10-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

It's finally happened! I've lost TEN pounds!!! Woo-hoo :)

I'm sooo happy about this, I don't even know how to put it into words.

I'm doing it, I'm actually losing weight. For some unknown reason, reaching a solid 10 pound loss has really been reassuring to me. I'm not just trying to lose weight, I am losing weight!!!

When I realised this morning, I was bordering on giddy. I don't think that I've ever truly believed that I was going to be thin again. Some part of me has always thought it was just a pipe dream.

I don't want to be entirely self- centered, so I'd also like to point out that Fat Girl Slim is a mere 1/10 of a pound away from having lost THIRTY pounds!

*** Insert big fucking round of applause here ***

I don't even know what else to say but we kick some serious ass! For real!

On a side note, we will be putting up our giveaway post either today (time granted) or tomorrow at the very latest! WOOT!

Here's the official weekly numbers:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 41 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 41 Numbers:

So, What's The Plan?

2010-10-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking on getting up a workout schedule for this week. I finally did you, and just started it with tomorrow.

I have a (slightly ambitious) goal of 7 miles tomorrow. My ankle has been really bothering so I didn't get to do my long run last weekend. Which means this will be my longest run in quite some time. I've only been up to 5 recently, so I'm really nervous about this one. I'll also be doing it solo as Fat Girl Slim has no desire to run in any way, shape, or form.

Poor me :(

Anyway, I don't have anything particularly funny or inspirational to say - just wanted to show you my plan for torturing myself over the next 7 days.

Here's to achieving some results!

I'm Tired Of Being A Wagon

2010-10-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

Last night, while scanning through a book of mine [42 Rules For Working Moms, if you are curious], I came across a chapter that touched on taking care of yourself. It said to imagine yourself as a fast sports car. If you tune a sports car right, put good gas in it, and take care of it, the performance will increase. I was totally following the point they were trying to make, but for some reason no matter how I tried, I couldn't imagine myself as a sleek sports car.

I think [unfortunately] that I'm a wagon. When the fuck did I become a wagon?!?!?!?! Pretty sure I'm not frumpy enough to be considered a minivan. No way. I'm definitely not a huge SUV either, but I have to be frank when I say I'm definitely not a compact car at this point. I think I'm a wagon.

How depressing. Wagons are functional and reliable and safe, but nobody gets excited to drive the wagon. Nobody stands back and appreciates the wagon as it drives by. Not even if it's a pretty, new wagon. Some things in life just aren't esthetically pleasing, you know??? Nor are some cars fast and lithe. Some cars will always be mediocre, no matter how well they do their job.

She might haul the kids around, but that's about it.

Well FUCK THAT. I'm tired of being the damn Subaru. I want to be a sports car. I want people to stare when I go by. I promise I'm not delusional. I may never get to Ferrari status, but would it be too much to ask to be a Camaro? Maybe even a Corvette???

Now THIS is a sexy car.

It may not be next week, or even next month, but one day I'm going to wake up and realize I'm no longer the grocery getter. One day I'm going to realize I've lost the back seat and allllll that junk in the trunk. I can't freaking wait.

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 40

2010-10-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make, I've been drinking the satan (aka Diet Dr. Pepper, aka sweet nectar of the gods).

I have another confession to make. The week that I lost the most weight ever was the week I didn't drink soda.

This pisses me off.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it on the blog before, but I am pre-diabetic and insulin resistant. My doctor told me straight up I should not drink soda, especially diet. It screws with your blood sugar worse than the regular stuff.

So, in addition to being fat stats, today is my final farewell to my sweet love:

Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways...

I bust my ass way to hard to let something like stupid soda stand in the way of my goals! Even though I really, really, really don't want to, it's something that just has to be done.

With that said, on to fat stats. It wasn't an epic week, but it was decent - and I'll take that over a gain any day!

Fat Girl Slim's Week 40 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 40 Numbers:

That's all for now - I'm going to iron out my workout plan for this week and post it later on.

We Did It!!!

2010-10-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

We did it! We made it to 50 followers!

What now you ask?

It's GIVEAWAY TIME baby :)

Fat Girl Slim and me are in the processing of figuring out exactly what will comprise this giveaway box. Which is where YOU come in.

If you were picking, what would you want to be in the box? Let us know in the comments.

And to all our followers -

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Let's Talk About Boobies

2010-10-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

Because really, who doesn't love boobies?? I've always been a pretty busty girl. Around 14 years old the boobs grew in at full force. And I got a boyfriend. Coincidence or conspiracy??? Anyways, pretty much since puberty I've ran between a D and DDD in cup size, depending on whether or not I was skinny or nursing babies or pregnant. Pregnancy can do a number on boobs, can't it? One day the titty fairy arrives, and BAM, you have Grade A, Porn-approved knockers that you [and your husband/wife/baby daddy/boyfriend/girlfriend/random strangers] just can't get over.

Nobody can resist...

Of all the things I've done to my boobies though [pregnancy, nursing for years, etc.], nothing, and I truly mean NOTHING has made them shrink. Until now, that is. The other day I looked into the mirror and said [out loud], "Where the FUCK did my boobs go?!?!?!?", because seriously, the fun bags are starting to totally go MIA. I realized my bra is starting to look like it's holding two little eggs in two big baskets.

So what's a woman to do??? I dug deep into my drawers to find my smaller bras. The D selection. I threw one of those on, ran to the mirror and.... still too fucking big. Could I really be moving into C territory?? I haven't been in C territory since 6th grade!!! And I certainly weighed less than 174lbs then. I was about 130.

Has anyone else experienced massive knocker shrinkage? I'm not sure how I feel about this yet, but I know it isn't good. My girls are two of my very favorite assets, and it's going to hurt a little to say good bye to them in the name of skinny. Then again, I could always go all Muffin Top and get fake ones. She keeps losing weight, but the boobies remain.... Bitch.

It's Getting Closer...

2010-10-13T12:10:00.000-07:00

So close, in fact, that I went ahead and ordered my special underwear for his graduation. Only FOUR WEEKS until I leave!!!

I'm beyond impressed with my humor....

Now, guess who needs to get her big ole' ASS on the stair climber today so that I may actually FIT in a thong by graduation. Yep, that would be me.

Muffin Top's (Current) Workout Schedule

2010-10-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

First off, I would like to apologize to @Kattungen - I promised her I would post this yesterday and I was a complete failure. I'm sorry Kat! Sometimes life sucks and yesterday was kind of one of those days. So this is for you baby!

Just this very morning I filled out my application for a 9 miler! It's the Pioneer Road Run and is exactly one month from today on November 13th.

Is this a good idea? I'm not really sure. The furthest I've run since the half is 5 miles, so I have 4 weeks to up that distance by 125%. Ouch.

Damn! That's gotta hurt!!!

So, before I get into the nitty gritty of my schedule I'll tell you my plan for upping the mileage. I have 3 weekends of building and 1 recovery ahead of me. This weekend I'll run 6.5 (30% increase), the following I'll do 8 (23% increase), the third week I'll go balls out and do 10 (25% increase). Since the final weekend will be recovery I'll probably do 6 or 7, depending on how I'm doing.

Since today is Wednesday, I'll start from there and go through Tuesday. I'm actually kind of looking forward to having it all mapped out. When I have a plan, and a particular workout is "scheduled" in, I really feel obligated to do it.

P.S. Don't forget - We only need 1 more blog follower and then we will be doing our first ever give away!!!

Tuesday Fat Stats - Week 39

2010-10-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

This was a week of of mixed results. If you read Fat Girl Slim's post yesterday, you know that it wasn't an entirely successful weekend. But, that happens to all of us - the key is to pick yourself back up and start right where you left off. Another thing that I've found to be key is that you have to forgive yourself. You can't dwell on the negative, you can't focus on the failure - where you are pointed is where you will head.

Point yourself towards success!!!

With that said, here's this weeks results:

Fat Girl Slim's Week 39 Numbers:

Muffin Top's Week 39 Numbers:

This is a short post, but I am going to be posting my workout schedule later today to make up for it :)

*** PS ***
After we get 50 blog followers we will be doing a giveaway! So if you aren't a follower - do it now!!!

Let's Get It On

2010-10-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

We've decided to kick it up a notch around these parts. For the next 28 days, Muffin Top and I will get NO LESS than 60 minutes of exercise a day. I am leaving for my husband's police academy graduation in 31 days [HOLY SHIT!!!! Only 31 days!!!], so I want to make the most of these last 4 weeks. In other words, IT'S ON.

I've gone so far as to create a schedule of sorts for myself. I've noticed I do far better with a plan. So here it is. I have no clue what Muffin Top is going to do, perhaps if you ask nicely she'll post her work out schedule later.

Monday:

-20 mins treadmill @ 7% incline, 3.5 mph
-20 mins elliptical
-20 mins stair climber
-60 mins total

Tuesday:

- 5 mins @ 15 incline, 2.5 mph
- 5 mins @ 10 incline, 3.0 mph
- Repeat x 5
-10 mins stair climber
- 60 mins total

Wednesday:

-20 mins treadmill @ 7% incline, 3.5 mph
-20 mins elliptical
-20 mins stair climber
-60 mins total

Thursday:
-5 mins @ 5.0 mph
-2.5 mins @ 5.5 mph
-2.5 mins @ 6.0 mph
-5 mins @3.5mph
Repeat x 3
-15 mins stair climber
-60 mins total

Friday:

-20 mins treadmill @ 7% incline, 3.5 mph
-20 mins elliptical
-20 mins stair climber
-60 mins total

Saturday:

-Jillian video
-Pilates
-60 mins total

Sunday:

-60 mins walk (recovery)
-Pilates
-80 mins total

I'd like to work in more Pilates in the morning if possible, but who knows because I'm soooo not a morning person.

So there you have it. Kicking ass and taking names, at least for the next 4 weeks.

Weekend Wrap Up

2010-10-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday, friends. There was so much awesome this weekend, I felt it deserved it's own post. Besides, we aren't doing fat stats until Tuesday now, so I figured we should add some filler.

This weekend was an epic fail in the eating department, but damn, I had some seriously good food. The small people and I made some fabulous pumpkin butterscotch cookies on Saturday morning, and on Sunday I busted out a huge crock of beef stew. I'm happy to cross both of those things off the Fall bucket list.

These were ridiculously good...

As was this...

Saturday night my sister watched the munchkins so Mr. FGS and I could have a date night. It had been over TWELVE weeks since we'd gotten out of the house sans kids, and it was all kinds of worthwhile and awesome. We ate at my favorite Mexican joint and watched Zombieland. [It goes without saying that it's one of my favorite movies, right?]

NEVER forget Rule #1!!!!!

Sunday was cleaning, cooking, going to the park and having my nieces over for dinner. Some weekends have so much happy in them that it physically hurts when Monday shows up. That's about where I am right now!

I wanted to take a moment to mention a project a friend of mine is doing. This is one of the best ideas I've seen in a very long time. You can see what it's all about at http://hokeypokeyproject.com/. I hate to summarize what others are doing, so this is straight from the site:

For the next fifty-two weeks, my family will strive to create a weekly public project that will serve no other purpose than to make people smile–perhaps hundreds of people or maybe just one. But smiles are the primary goal.

Secondarily, the goal of the Hokey Pokey Project is to teach my own children that they have vast power, even at the tender ages of two and four, to better people’s lives, one smile and one moment at a time.

Go take a peek at this project and prepare to be amazed.

I hope every one of you out there has a fantastic, healthy Monday. We'll be back tomorrow with fat stats [that I'm totally dreading, just FYI].